Episode Transcript
Alara Sage (00:01.195)
Hello, hello and welcome to the episode of the ecstatic woman podcast where we activate and inspire women in their power, in their authenticity and in their bliss. I'm your host, Alara Sage and my beloveds, you know, we all love those stories, the hero's journey, the stories that inspire us, that remind us of what we're really capable of. And we have a profound story here.
for you today with our wonderful guest, Holly Porter, who is an international speaker and creator of 11 startup companies, everybody, 11, like celebrating you, Holly. And she stands as a beacon of resilience. What a beautiful word. I love that word. 15 -time bestselling author, seasoned philanthropist, and true survivor. Her remarkable journey includes a 70 -day battle with COVID -19. Holly, my love.
Welcome to the show.
Holly Porter (01:01.834)
Thank you, Laura. I'm happy to be here.
Alara Sage (01:04.949)
You know, resilience is a really important word to me. I don't know if you've ever heard of the gene keys. It's one of my keys. And so it's, it's to me, it speaks to the energy of the warrior, right? The continuing forward, pursuing whatever we feel very strongly is the torch that we want to hold the passion that we feel inspired to create in this world.
Holly Porter (01:11.135)
Yes.
Alara Sage (01:33.353)
regardless of what transpires, right? What does resilience mean to you?
Holly Porter (01:40.489)
Well, what it means to now and what it used to mean to me is different. Now...
The word fight and fighter, it's interesting that was never a word I cared to use or say in my vocabulary, but after all this experience I had, I have a painting actually called Fight that I had from one of my experiences I had commissioned. And so I think it's just beyond your limits. It's just finding yourself that you can do hard things and that there, think hope comes into that word and it's just.
The fight that's in you is beyond your control.
Alara Sage (02:18.881)
Hmm. I love the you can do hard things. I actually have a friend who posted something recently on Instagram that exact affirmation I can do hard things and We all have this power of the warrior energy of the opportunity the potentiality to do hard things and see it till the end Let's go into your story because I love how you said it has shifted resilience means something different to you now, so
What did it mean to you before you went through this intense part of your life?
Holly Porter (02:55.37)
Yeah, that's interesting because I have not really given that a lot of thought, although I know the word fight before wouldn't have been something like our fighter. But when you're fighting for your life, I laid in a hospital bed for 70 days. I was in a coma for over 30. I was intubated two times. I had a trach, I had sepsis, some other life threatening diseases. I'm the story that people don't tell because they don't live.
And I am a miracle, I know that. And I don't wanna waste a day. So I think it's that resilience of moving forward where in the past it was like, yeah, yeah, I have resilience. It was kind of like, yeah, I know, people tell you, you're so resilient. I hear that all the time, I've heard it all my life. Now it means just so much more to me. It's like, damn straight.
Alara Sage (03:49.269)
So do you feel that it was the part of really fighting for your life that it sounds like that that's what really transformed that term for you?
Holly Porter (04:00.264)
Yeah, yeah. I have two times in my life that I can recall this incidence and
I ran for political office two different times actually, but I grouped them together because it was the same experience for me. And it was, I didn't win, but I feel like those were the biggest wins of my life, was losing. And I think that's when I got told a lot, you know, you're so resilient, I can't believe you're coming back for more, right? When I did it the second time, a different position. And my life...
started I think I moved away from that city within a year after that second election I just felt like I'm pulling people I'm pushing you know I'm like driving you know begging people to come towards me and Getting all this resistance what people say what people do are different that was a hard lesson to learn and the other hard lesson to learn was People can be really mean I just didn't really know that like I really was innocent to that and so that hurt my heart and so
So I moved away, not very far, only about 45 minutes away, but to a whole different energy. And I started traveling, writing my books and speaking. And now people were drawn to me. It wasn't like this. wasn't like pushing people away. I was bringing them in and the energy around that felt so much better. So that, and then this coma, you know, COVID whole experience that those were the two defining moments I will say with it shifted everything for me. And think about, I mean, that was only
I moved here 10 years ago, so 10 years ago and 3 years ago and I'm 56. So like, I'm a little bit of a slow learner apparently and it's okay. We get it when it's time,
Alara Sage (05:45.863)
Yeah, I like to say late bloomer because I'm one of those two and I think it's different than slow learner, you know, but I want to go into the coma with you because I don't know if you can answer this question, but when we talk about fighting for your life, were you conscious? I mean, when you were in the coma or when you weren't in the coma, were you conscious that you were fighting for your life? And what did that feel like?
Holly Porter (06:13.694)
Yeah, I was, I definitely knew I was fighting for my life. There were so many days my prayer was to die.
because it was awful. And when you can't breathe, I nurses tell my sisters that were helping me because my husband was home with COVID and couldn't come see me for three and a half weeks. So that was horrible. But they were there and they would say, are you sure she's not on anxiety medicine? Because she's really bad. And you think about it, let me take your oxygen away from you. Let's see how you react. I who wouldn't be like crazy anxiety if you can't breathe? You're trying to catch your breath. And I just remember.
being in, the thing my comas were all induced medically, I don't know that for a fact, but regardless, I was in a coma. Sometimes I was in a paralyzed coma because they had to keep you so still to have your body heal. Our bodies are made to heal themselves, right? And I remember laying there.
Alara Sage (07:05.109)
Wow. Wow.
Holly Porter (07:10.682)
So I had out -of -body experiences. I had a near -death experience. I had a spiritual transformational experience. All of them. I had lots of out -of -body. I mean, the stories I can tell you. I have a book coming out, believe me. It takes a whole book to tell some of these stories. Some are funny, some are creepy. But I did know, and then later I remembered I had a sister that was purchasing an Airbnb property. And some people would say, did you hear conscious conversations going on?
while you're in your coma. And the only one I can think of this experience, and there's more coming to me because the COVID Fox so real, I have long COVID, that things are still coming three years later. I'm like, aha. And I also was told.
More will be revealed to you when the time is right. And I do believe that normally that wouldn't give me peace, but that gives me a ton of peace knowing there is more to the story and just be patient, which I'm not. And I think it would have been so overwhelming to have all that information come to me at once that I wouldn't have been able to handle it, right? And I don't know, we just, I think it's just that shift of being patient and waiting for what's to come. I hope that answered that question.
Alara Sage (08:23.165)
Yeah, definitely, patience is a hard one for me as well. think for those of us who understand resilience, I don't always think patience comes easy to us. It's kind of like it goes hand in hand because we tend to just keep moving forward until we achieve whatever it is we're achieving or get to the end.
Holly Porter (08:43.018)
Yeah, I think I always tease my husband. say, God gave me you, we've been married 22 years. God gave me you to learn patience. God put me in a coma to sit still and listen.
Alara Sage (08:55.999)
Yeah, I can't imagine being intentionally paralyzed and that whole side of the medical system.
Holly Porter (09:02.088)
No, it was a blessing because, well, picture this. I lost all five senses in the beginning. So most of my experiences happened that first.
three to four weeks while I was in the hospital. I'm legally blind, so without my contacts or glasses, I couldn't see who anyone was, unless you were about eight inches in front of my face. Then they had the mask and the hats and the gowns, and everybody looked the same. They were all yellow, and they looked the same. So, eyes, that's really all I could see. My hearing, somehow, the ventilator took 90 % of my hearing away, so it sounded like the Charlie Brown school teacher. That's how I heard people talk.
the nose or let's see, smell and taste were gone from COVID and then they tie your hands to the bed so you don't pull your ventilator out. So I had like, I felt like I was paralyzed, literally. I just was like, yeah, put me in a coma, wake me up when it's over. The first time they asked me what date I thought it was, 30 days had gone by and I had no idea.
Alara Sage (09:47.456)
Wow.
Alara Sage (10:05.905)
a long time. I would love to ask you because obviously you mentioned your out of body experiences. Is there one that you would like to share because we can't cover all of them but I would love to hear one of those experiences.
Holly Porter (10:20.629)
I'd almost rather tell you about the spiritual one, but I will just say with the out of body, I never went forward in time, I went back in time. specifically ironically, to this little town called Perwin, Utah, 165 years around ago. And why there, I have no idea. I'm still finding out things. There were some not so good things, there were some funny things, but the spiritual chance.
Alara Sage (10:45.217)
Sounds like a past life to me.
Holly Porter (10:47.314)
It was very interesting. Yeah, I'm still open to learning about that, right? I did go to the house though. There was a really creepy staircase in the house that is now owned by the city. And it was my great, great, great grandfather's home. He didn't live there very much, but they did a tour and that original creepy staircase was still there. I was like, now I know it was real. There's no other way I'd have remembered it, right? Yeah.
But the spiritual one, that one I thought was another near death. And I didn't know that there was three different separations of these experiences till I went to the International Association of Near Death Studies conference last year. And it's a group of hundreds of people that get together that have had these experiences. And that was where I learned about the spiritual and I thought.
that's what, and that's the painting I had done. It's a six foot by four foot, it's huge. I didn't want it that big, but they said to put, the most people they would allow in it was 26. So it was really challenging. It took me about eight months to figure out who was gonna be in it because the experience basically was a prayer I was saying that if you're gonna get me better,
then get me out of here. And if I'm gonna die, then just take me now, because this really sucks. And I'm suffering. And I was also angry because he had given a cousin of mine a really spiritual experience that she shared in a text, because she lives in Arizona and I live in Utah, to my sisters and said, I know Holly's not doing well right now, please read this to her, she needs to hear this. And she's right, I did need to hear it because it got me in a space where I was mad, but I also was
asking for, know, this is not fair. Why did she get that experience and I didn't? And at that moment, my mom had passed away about a year and a half before that. She came to me a lot while I was in the hospital and she was always on my right side. And it's interesting because I've had several other healers tell me the same thing. You know your mom was with you. You know she's on your right side. So it's nice when you get those awesome confirmations, right?
Alara Sage (13:00.193)
Absolutely, yeah.
Holly Porter (13:00.912)
not losing it and I said yeah she was you're right and so this particular time she came and that was the time when she told me that it wasn't my time that I needed to go back and then she said and you need to fight there went that word and when she said fight I had all up in front of me I was in my bed by the way I traveled in my bed all these experiences I have a chapter in the book called me in my bed I think I thought if I didn't take my bed I didn't get my body and if I left my body I might not get a bath
I think there was something going on there. So I was in my bed and all these family members that had died were white and they all appeared to me including my know grandparents favorite aunt, brother, sister -in -law, been in a car wreck, they were there. I had just lost a grandbaby that was new six months before. She was an adult but I knew it was her and they were all there and they started just like showing me that love and support and chanting fight and every time the word
Alara Sage (13:59.553)
Hmm.
Holly Porter (14:00.614)
fight with calm.
another group of people behind them who were in straight clothes. So, you know, my husband, my kids, my siblings, friends, and then fight, fight, fight as they all appeared so far back. I couldn't see and I couldn't, I didn't even know so many of those that I believe now were all those prayers, roles lists that I was on of people asking my friends, my family, their spouses, their families asking for prayers for me. And I think those, was to show
me all the support that I really had and that and it was it was that defining moment when I knew I would live like I knew it might not be easy but I knew I was gonna fight because I had that much support and that that was just for me it was like okay got it I'm gonna live all right let's let's get through this then so
Alara Sage (14:57.183)
So do you feel like something shifted after that? Because our mind is so powerful with our body, right? And this is just what's coming through for me right now. When we are at that edge where we're saying, either support me and help me get through this or let me go, we basically got one foot on either side, right? And that's a powerful message to our body.
Holly Porter (15:04.585)
Yeah.
Holly Porter (15:25.439)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (15:26.047)
that we're ready for either one, but we're not really saying, this is the one I'm going to survive or I'm going to go. You're basically holding a potentiality for both in your mind, which is going to affect your body and your energy and everything. Did you find that after you had that feeling of support, as well as that confirmation, that affirmation fight, did you feel like your body started to respond to that?
Holly Porter (15:55.338)
I was still so sick for so long. And yes, I would say I was never afraid to die. I would surrender either way, right? It's like to me, I'm here. I think for me, it was, I had had especially like the last 10 years, which would have only been about seven at that time.
I had done so much personal development. really, you know, when I was speaking and coaching and writing books, I was into that completely. And I had a nurse come to me and say when it was in between the first intubation and the second intubation and I wasn't doing well. And I remember just like, you got to breathe. You got to get your breath up. I got to get above 85 on my oxygen, right? It needs to be above 85 so they won't innovate me again. And my body was just...
worn out and I remember them saying, well, she came in and kind of got mad at me. She's like, your sister told me you're a speaker, you do this, you do personal development, you know this is all in your mind. This is all a mind game. You do know that. And I was like, I'm grateful she did that now because it was a great reminder at that time. I guess I did have to get intubated again, but it...
It told me I can do hard things. I am strong. I am resilient. It's okay. I knew when I made that choice the first time to go on the ventilator, I'm a holistic healer, so I do not like all the drugs. And trust me, I got all the drugs. There's lots of stories behind that. my husband wasn't there to choose for me, you know, because he was home sick. And it was tough. was tough to have. I'm so grateful my sisters were there.
because they saved my life. They stayed 24 -7 shifts. I got one person every 24 hours. And I just think that mindset is such, or really just so powerful that I always had that gift of knowing. know, people say, how do you know that? I just know that. And I feel like that gift is stronger because once I know something, nothing will change my mind. Really, I mean, I can change my mind and I like change.
Alara Sage (18:00.79)
Right.
Holly Porter (18:04.414)
But when I know something and I know in my gut and soul that it is the right thing to do, watch out. Because I'm not going let anything stop me. Might hold me up, hold me back, but it's not going to stop me.
Alara Sage (18:06.09)
Right.
Alara Sage (18:16.985)
Yeah, it's just interesting because as you mentioned you weren't afraid of death and so that can that can oftentimes I feel like open the door for You know letting letting the body go right if we're not afraid of death whereas a fear of death could Really, you know have you clinging to life? I used to speak with animals animal communicator and I spoke to a lot of animals that were you know, really on the brink of death and
Holly Porter (18:29.086)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (18:45.055)
It was amazing how many of them would hold on just for their owners. And I've seen that with people too. They'll hold on for their kids, for their spouse, right? Because we're so powerful. That's how powerful we are. We can prolong, you know, I don't know if it's the inevitable, but I'll use that phrase because that's a common phrase. And hang on because we tell ourselves that we need to, we have to, right?
Holly Porter (18:52.008)
Yeah. Yes.
Holly Porter (19:11.315)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (19:13.653)
So I just find it interesting because it's almost like, yeah, because you weren't afraid to die, you know, I'm, I'm curious and not that you need to have this answer. I'm just putting the curiosity out there of did that have you straddling? Cause I would be the same way. I'm not scared to die. And I would be the same way. Like, okay, like let's make up our minds here. I don't want to straddle the fence. Are we going? Are we staying? and you know, and then, and then to have such a spiritual
experience and have all that support and then start to make that determination. I mean, my question, guess, for you is, do you feel like you made the determination after that experience, spiritual experience with all of your support members? Yeah.
Holly Porter (19:47.304)
Yeah.
Holly Porter (19:55.412)
to stay? Yes, I don't think I had more of a desire to die than live necessarily. I was just willing to surrender to whatever I needed to have happen would happen, right? But when your mama tells you, you gotta fight and it's not your time, right? That kind of is like.
Alara Sage (20:13.525)
Yeah.
Yes.
Holly Porter (20:18.022)
Okay, you know, listen and obey to our parents, right? I mean, your mom comes and tells you that and fast forward though, the near death experience, which actually happened before this one, by the way, it happened in the first intubation. And I know specifically because when I came out of it, this is what's interesting, the near death situation should have made me want to be want to stay there and not come back, right? Some people I get it, I think get to choose, obviously, the ones that choose to stay, we never get
to talk to anymore. We, well, here on earth that we don't know what...
what their story was right the people that came back we hear the story but that one I when I I was spelling they were taking I must have been doing better because they took me off the ventilator but just before that my sister Jill was in there with me and she said I had to actually loosen my hand from being tied to the bed so I could point at the alphabet that's the only way I could even communicate when I had enough strength I mean because I couldn't even lift my phone forever I mean I remember that was a huge task but I could even hold my phone so I no energy
Alara Sage (20:54.527)
Right. Yeah.
Holly Porter (21:22.872)
So I'd point at these letters and I started to spell out K -I -D. She goes, something with your kids? Do you need me to talk to your kids? She's like trying to help me because it took forever to spell out anything. And she and I I was like no and she's so I started spelling N -A -P and she's like
she's spelling kidnapped? So I was like yeah and so then she says as soon as you got the word out she goes she must have left around an error or something she's like I'm looking around like in this panic like did something happen while I was gone like what is going on because they were my protectors big time and the
And the doctor comes in right then, she said, to exubate me for the first time. And as soon as they took it out, I could talk, just not very well. She said, was really hard, but we can understand you then. And she goes, you did not stop. You were like, so basically I had this fear that they kidnapped me and...
It's so weird to be where I know I was in the near death. Why was I afraid of that? I think this is what I think, jokingly, kind of, but this is what I really do think. I think we all have to be in training. Nobody does things alone, right? And I think even guides, I never remember seeing my guide, but even guides have to know at some point the rules or what they're supposed to do. And I think my guide was in training and he took me and he wasn't supposed to. So jokingly, I say that, but I really do think something like that was going on because I remember.
remember seeing beings in my room and everything. Of course she couldn't. And I remember having that, they're gonna take me again. So I must have had that desire and I must have made that decision to stay and I was afraid they were gonna take me again. There was something going on big time. She said she was opening the closets and showing me nobody was in there. Clearly people were in there. I knew that, right? But anyway, so that was, it's just interesting to put all the stories and the pieces together just like, wow.
Alara Sage (23:10.476)
Right. Right.
Alara Sage (23:18.609)
Hmm. Yeah, that's really fascinating And and definitely with that, you know Again, I feel like there was some tapping in that you did to other lives I prefer to call them parallel lives, but the majority of them are known as past lives and to me I can feel energetically when you're talking about the staircase and also just then about being kidnapped I could feel like an overlap because when we're when we're
getting really close to the portal of life -death, know, we're existing simultaneously and your availability to all of that information is much more present. And so our what is this life and what is of another life can the image I'm getting is it can overlap a little bit. So that's yes, very intriguing.
Holly Porter (24:12.254)
Yeah, that's interesting.
Alara Sage (24:15.969)
What was your experience coming out of all of this and recovering? It sounds like your body was really extensively weak. 70 days is an extraordinary amount of time. I imagine there was quite a lot of resilience required to get your body back to full health.
Holly Porter (24:37.162)
Yeah, when I walked in the hospital, I was on no drugs. They didn't even have a baseline for anything on me because I was super healthy. And when I walked out of the first hospital after five weeks, they had 422 records. And it's just so much stuff,
Alara Sage (24:51.745)
Like, what does that mean, 422 records?
Holly Porter (24:53.418)
like hospital records, like every blood test, everything became a record. They had zero when I walked in and 422, just the first hospital for fight. I mean, I still had the other hospital too. I had to add that in, but yeah, was crazy. I walked out with 12 drugs, you know? And for someone who likes to heal holistically, that was, I mean, at that point I was so, the COVID five was so crazy. Like I could have never even figured out what, when I take what. Somebody had to be there. I...
Alara Sage (24:56.427)
Wow. Wow.
Holly Porter (25:22.058)
had to, was, I mean, you literally, had to learn to breathe again first, then I had to learn how to swallow and then sit up and then, you know, stand up and then walk. couldn't walk. When you're in the bed that long, your muscles are jello. I lost 30 pounds in the first like four and a half weeks. So it, not that I didn't need to, but not that way, right? But after I was on oxygen for months and months after I had
Alara Sage (25:34.741)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (25:40.265)
Right.
Alara Sage (25:45.631)
now.
Holly Porter (25:50.576)
Nine doctors. I never could understand why somebody would have so many doctors, but I had so many things going wrong in my body that I had a specialist for everything. I had occupational therapy, physical therapy, pulmonary therapy. I mean, my whole life was doctor appointments for a while, a long time. But I remember the doctors saying a couple of things. One of them said, well, at least you're doing something about it. And I'm like...
Alara Sage (25:58.933)
Hmm.
Holly Porter (26:17.446)
yeah, what's the alternative? And they're like sitting home on oxygen waiting to die. And I was like, well, I'm not doing that.
Alara Sage (26:23.002)
wow.
Yeah, I don't even think of that as an option. So when you said that I was thinking the same thing as you like, well, what what do you mean? What's the alternative? Yeah.
Holly Porter (26:32.38)
as you're resilient. Well, and then one nurse, a really humbling moment I had was I was doing pulmonary rehab and I was a couple months out of the hospital at this time. So I was still in oxygen, but
I was still pretty bad. So we go in there and do weights and all that and therapy and walk and they do your breath test and all that. Whole new world to me because I just never had that kind of a thing. I didn't have all these diagnoses and it was nuts and they just kept coming in every week. You go to a doctor, you get a new diagnosis. I'm like, whatever. And I went to do a breath test and I said to her, I said, can you answer a question for me? I said,
We're in a smaller town, but there was tons of people that were sick from COVID. Everybody has a COVID story. I'm not alone. Everybody suffered. The whole world suffered at the same time. And I said, how come there's only two of us in here doing pulmonary rehab? Because it was a specific program for people that had.
Alara Sage (27:20.545)
Interesting.
Holly Porter (27:30.922)
had COVID and have now had long COVID. And I knew the other guy, he was a friend of mine from like 25 years ago. And he was like, his story was similar to mine, but like maybe a month or two ahead of mine. But he was doing this program. And I said, why is there only two of us? And she got really still and she slid back on her stool and looked me right in the eyes. And she said, because they don't live to need it. I was like, wow. I mean, it just, so many moments to think that, you know,
Alara Sage (27:53.355)
Hmm.
Holly Porter (28:00.624)
Sometimes you say you lived you weren't so lucky because you end up with all these life challenges But I remember laying in in that coma thinking if this is it Am I enough did I do enough am I leaving enough? What's my legacy like all those thoughts sat there? And am I happy with the way things have turned out up till now? That I'm ready to go or do I need to finish what I didn't even start
Alara Sage (28:06.219)
Right.
Alara Sage (28:22.121)
Yeah. Right.
Alara Sage (28:30.239)
And so what were the answers to those questions? Do you feel like you've acquired a different passion or a different level of, yeah, fire under your ass is the term? Not that you didn't have that already. Like, let's be really honest. Like, you were already doing that. How much more lit can your fire get? But yeah, I do want to the answer.
Holly Porter (28:40.168)
Yeah.
Holly Porter (28:45.48)
Yeah.
Holly Porter (28:50.27)
Well, and honestly, this could be a whole other show because yes, so a couple things I got told, love them where they're at, that was my message. And I didn't remember that message. I had a hypnosis session just last.
Alara Sage (28:59.585)
Mmm.
Holly Porter (29:05.354)
So it's been almost three years, so like two years after I had a hypnosis session to help me remember some of the near -death experience because the others were pretty clear to me, but I felt like for the book out of integrity, I had some gaps and I know more will be revealed to you when the time is right, remember that? I know that and he told me that in the hypnosis session as well. was a friend of mine, I knew, I trusted. It was like an hour and 40 minute session. That was a game changer for me because it was some reminders of some things that happened in the near -death that I didn't remember.
and created two years before. So specifically a logo for a software company that I was told not to partner with this company. was going to partner with the day I out had I pitched this company and I was told in my coma, don't partner with this company. It's not the right thing to do. It'll take you longer, which it has.
but that's not the path it needs to go. So I listened, but when we were creating the logo, I said it needed to have a tree in it. And you know, there's lots of significance around trees, And I, no one questioned it. I didn't think much of it. I was just like, yeah, I feel like it needs to have a tree. They come back with the logo, and I found out the story to that later too that was really comforting. But the tree had 11 leaves and 11 roots on it.
Alara Sage (30:23.233)
Mmm.
Holly Porter (30:25.29)
My birthday's also 111. I got out of the hospital on 9 -11. or no, sorry, November 1111. Yeah, I mean, so all these things, right? And in the hypnosis, when he took me back there, I saw the tree.
Alara Sage (30:35.465)
Okay.
Holly Porter (30:46.996)
And I'm like, not the same tree as my logo, mind you. Like it wasn't that specific, but the tree was there. And what it did was tell me you listened to what you were told to do in your coma. And this is confirmation. You created that tree and the not even remembering that was in your near death. So that was one thing. And then one more thing real quick, I'll tell you was I had, I was told to start this nonprofit.
And it wasn't started for long COVID because we didn't know what long COVID was. It was for COVID is what I was told. Start this nonprofit and it's going to help support COVID. Well, now I know it's long COVID because that's who you're supporting is the people that still have all these health issues. I would have never done that. In fact, I had a magazine at the time. I wouldn't let the writers print the word COVID in my magazine because I was like, that is not getting any energy. So I would always make them come up with a different word or whatever to describe it. It's so weird.
Alara Sage (31:23.113)
Right. Right. Right.
Holly Porter (31:39.964)
and then I have a nonprofit. But the nonprofit in my hypnosis session, so I hope you guys are tracking me, because I know I feel like I'm going all over. Okay. So when I got to the light side in this experience of the hypnosis of my NDE, there was this matter that would swirl together and
Alara Sage (31:47.433)
No, I'm tracking you. I don't know about the audience, but I am.
Holly Porter (32:03.525)
It was like a gray darker side when I was in the in -between side, which I said it could be a whole nother podcast. But when I got to the light side, that same matter was swirling into like a rose colored quartz in the hearts and then would go, you know, everything went to the light. And that was significant to me because in when we did our first gala for the nonprofit for a fundraiser, we made these would hope.
Ornaments that said hope on it and I put him in this gold bag and every bag same with the tree I was like needs to have a rose colored pink or quartz art in it and then I'm in having this experience and I'm seeing that and I thought so it's like Your body knows your mind knows it not really your body your mind knows your body just needs to come with you, right? But it created all these things the two years before not even remembering
Alara Sage (32:50.069)
Yes.
Alara Sage (33:00.543)
Right. Yeah, that's so profound.
Holly Porter (33:01.844)
I was so grateful I was gifted the knowing of the wise. I didn't need that. I didn't ask for that. every time I have a hard day, because it's challenging, I started two new companies three months after getting out of the hospital and almost dying, really sick still. And I've started nine before that, so I knew I could. it was like, anyway, it has its challenges. But I know.
Alara Sage (33:18.923)
Right.
Alara Sage (33:23.296)
Ha!
Holly Porter (33:29.234)
like the end game, know what it's supposed to be, I know how many people it's gonna serve. The Retreat software company is the for -profit company. That will be a game changer for the retreat industry. And my plan is to build it, scale it, sell it, because I have a whole laundry list of philanthropy work that I want to do and I wanna be the big check writer for it and to support.
microloans, business people. I mean, there's just like all these things that I know that's what I need to do. it's like, come with me and help me figure out the how. And one thing I've learned, you don't have to know the how, you have to know the who, because the who knows the how. And I just hope to be a good enough leader to attract the right people.
Alara Sage (33:53.302)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (33:58.207)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (34:02.294)
Right.
Alara Sage (34:05.727)
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely. And I want to say something to what you said earlier about love them where they are because ironically enough the gene key that the gift is resilience. So the shadow is turbulence. The gift is resilience and the acidic state is humanity and it's all about compassion, which is literally love them where they are. So
I don't find that at all ironic that that all is coming in because whenever we can love people exactly where we are, we're truly holding them in that energy of compassion, which is transformational. You know, when we have compassion for people, it's absolutely transformational. So it's a very beautiful affirmation to say to yourself. So.
Holly Porter (34:53.524)
Yes.
Holly Porter (34:57.48)
Yes.
Holly Porter (35:02.335)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (35:04.799)
I don't know if you have something, but I always like to ask if you, if there's a listener or somebody in the audience who's listening to this and it's maybe going through a rough patch in their life, what would you say to them that they can apply to their life today in your experience with resilience?
Holly Porter (35:27.424)
well it's coming to my mind, like, right, I love not having predetermined answers for these things, because they're always different. I think it goes back to giving yourself the grace to know, number one, we talked about doing hard things that you can get through this, and the biggest word that's coming up is don't sweat the small stuff.
Alara Sage (35:51.585)
Mmm.
Holly Porter (35:52.714)
Because we tend to do that and in the end does it matter? Think about it. Is it gonna matter tomorrow, the next day, in a month, in a year? 10 years. And then decide how much time. If you're upset with something, decide ahead of time. How long am I gonna give myself to fill through this? Is it gonna be five minutes, an hour, a day, or a week? Whatever, your whole life, you're gonna be miserable, right?
Alara Sage (35:54.439)
beautiful. Yeah. Yes. Yes.
Holly Porter (36:16.712)
How long are you going to let that fester before you decide? Because you can make a decision like that.
Alara Sage (36:25.311)
I love that. How long are you going to fester? Yeah. And, and not to sweat the small stuff. That's huge because I feel like people do that and add to their struggle, add to their suffering when really you could just let all the little stuff go and just focus on that big thing and yeah, move through it faster and with less stress.
Holly Porter (36:25.364)
it.
Holly Porter (36:50.793)
Yes, it's taken me a lot of years to figure that out. I'm still working at it. Don't think I'm perfect. Far from.
Alara Sage (36:57.139)
No, it's the journey. It's not about reaching some sort of goal. It's absolutely the journey. Holly, how can people find you? You've mentioned a book. It sounds like maybe it's not quite out yet. Yeah, how can people find you, reach out to you, connect with your writings?
Holly Porter (37:12.274)
Yeah, I'd love that. My website's holliporter .com and my email is holly at holliporter .com. I'd love to hear from you and that'd be great, yeah.
Alara Sage (37:23.041)
Perfect, and when is your book coming out? Do you know?
Holly Porter (37:25.174)
well, hopefully by the end of this year. need, yeah. It's called, our working title became our title. It's called Retreat Forward, My Journey from NDE to CEO.
Alara Sage (37:41.122)
I like that. That's fun. I really like that. Beautiful. Well, thank you so much for being here with us. Absolutely adore your story. I feel like we could have like five more episodes to go deeper into these conversations. Maybe we will set that up because I would love to hear more. And it was kind of like there's so many pockets that we could dive into and have more conversations. So thank you so much for being here with us today, Holly.
Holly Porter (37:43.017)
day.
Holly Porter (38:02.972)
I don't
Alara Sage (38:11.305)
And to the listeners, know, these stories are always so, so important, inspirational. And particularly if you do know somebody who has long COVID, I think is what it's called. You know, I would maybe check out Holly's nonprofit. We didn't even really touch on that, but I'll put all the notes in the links in the show notes.
And because I think that's something that everybody, people who are working through that, can always, they always need resources, they need support, they need help, and we can always help spread the word as much as possible. As always, my loves, I'm so grateful that you are part of the Ecstatic Woman, and I look forward to the next episode. Much love.
Alara Sage (39:00.103)
Okay, my love.
