Episode Transcript
Alara Sage (00:01.815)
Hello, hello and welcome to Wealth Embodied podcast where we activate and inspire changemakers and leaders through wealth and conscious. No, going start again.
Alara Sage (00:16.823)
Hello, hello, and welcome to the Wealth Embodied podcast, where we activate and inspire changemakers and leaders to embody wealth consciousness, creative genius, and the visionary impact. I'm your host, Alara Sage. And today we're here to talk about choice. In humanity, we've always liked a lot of choice. Maybe choice is a good thing. Maybe choice is a bad thing. But choice is definitely a choice.
And today we're going to talk about the importance of choice with regards to wealth embodiment. And we're doing this with my wonderful guest here, Jessalyn Pearson, who educates and supports couples in creating transformative wealth plans with her husband, might I say. Her mission is to help couples align their goals, develop robust wealth strategies, and reclaim their time, enabling them to experience freedom,
Jessilyn Persson (00:45.858)
You
Alara Sage (01:14.975)
abundance and a life by design. What a beautiful mission, Jessalyn. Thank you so much for being here.
Jessilyn Persson (01:21.836)
Thank you for having me.
Alara Sage (01:23.437)
feel like I'm a little bit tongue -tied all of a sudden. So let's talk about this. First, I want to start off with, is there a time in your life where choice was a big deal for you or maybe you weren't making the choice that was leading you to your wealth?
Jessilyn Persson (01:25.637)
Hahaha
Jessilyn Persson (01:46.146)
Absolutely, I think I wasn't making the choice in life in a lot of things and I was deferring it or deflecting it and I'd find like something as simple as what do you want for dinner? You know when I'm talking to my husband and he knows I'm the picky one and he'll eat anything He just got to a point where he's just like Jess just decide
I'm gonna eat it, it's not gonna impact me, but if I pick something and you don't like it, what are you gonna do with that, right? And I was like, that's a good point. But I always wanted to be that people pleaser and make sure that they were happy, even if that meant I wasn't. And so I really had to learn to get over that hurdle and understand that choice is powerful. Because you go in knowing exactly what you want, what you're gonna do, it's your decision.
But with it becomes big responsibility. So now I can't say, well, I didn't decide that. I didn't choose that. That was his decision. That was your. Now it's like, ooh, I decided I have to own that, good or bad, and be OK with that.
Alara Sage (02:59.713)
love how you bring up responsibility because it's such a big part of wealth embodiment, isn't it? And I think it's really easy to not choose to create wealth, not choose to align ourselves with wealth. then, you know, honesty, like, complain about it, right? Like, like, I'm not wealthy, I don't have the things that I want in my life. But you're right. It's also then you have less responsibility, right? Then you're not taking that on, you're not being asked to
Jessilyn Persson (03:05.258)
Yes.
Jessilyn Persson (03:17.548)
Yep.
Alara Sage (03:29.589)
make those decisions and stand behind them. Like, yeah, that was a choice I made, whether it was a success or a failure.
Jessilyn Persson (03:33.196)
Yup.
Jessilyn Persson (03:37.078)
Yeah, yeah, a lot of us live by default.
instead of by design, which is what we help people with. It's like, you know, if you choose it, the outcomes are going to be so much more enjoyable and you get to decide where it goes and you won't sit there and go, well, that's always how it was done. Or that's how my family did it. Or that's what my husband wanted. Or that's what my kids know. What do you want? Let's design that path and let's get you going. So you love your life. You love what your future looks like and what you're bringing into your future instead of just
dragging the past in and the default. And then now you're be like, waking up going, I love my life, whether it's your job, your career, your marriage, your finances. And so I bring it holistically, even though of course wealth is my passion and my mission, because without wealth, it's hard to accomplish what you want. But when it comes to wealth, I find a lot of people default there as well. They'll be like, so my husband does the finances and they...
fully abdicate the whole decision as if it's not their responsibility and then later they, I'm speaking more on behalf of women because that's kind of who I'm around, later it'll be like, yeah, but okay, what happens in case of a death, a divorce, a disability, the three big D's we call and it's like, not only are you stuck with whatever that unfortunate situation is, you got to figure all this out and in a hurry.
and it's overwhelming and exhausting and it can break you right down to the core where you just wanna crawl in a ball and just kinda rock and be like, I don't know what to do with this. But if you plan it and you know what's coming, regardless of any circumstance, you're so much further ahead to be able to deal with whatever situation comes your way.
Alara Sage (05:26.765)
Yeah, I can really resonate with that because all of my life I've been very independent. And then when I met my previous husband, he was very much into economics and into money management. so I kind of like over a span of our relationship of 12 years, at some point started to just divert it all to him and he became the manager of the money. And when we divorced,
I realized how much of my power I had given away and not at his fault. That was my fault. I was the one that chose to do that. And there was a lot of subconscious things around that about I had issues with money. I didn't really want to look at money. So it was like, sure, you take on that responsibility. You do that. I don't have to do that. Right. But.
Jessilyn Persson (06:01.484)
Yep.
Jessilyn Persson (06:18.7)
Yup, yup.
Alara Sage (06:21.041)
When we got to the divorce, okay now I do have to do that and I haven't been doing that and wait How do I do this and now I have to do it alone like all of that really? fell on my shoulders and you know in a powerful way of Having to move through that challenge in my life, but not necessarily an easy way or potentially a healthy way
Jessilyn Persson (06:24.513)
you
Jessilyn Persson (06:42.966)
Yeah, I'm so glad you brought up that it wasn't his fault. It was your choice. And something that my husband loves to say is choose your hard, right? Like it was hard for you to relearn it, figure it out on your own. It might've been hard for you to learn it in your marriage, because it's easy. You do it, honey, you do it, easy. Okay, but the hard came later. So choose it now, and someone later happens if it does.
It's not so hard.
Alara Sage (07:15.053)
I love that so much. Choose your hard now because then it is also, it feels like more of a choice that way. Doesn't it? Like that I'm choosing to like face this challenge and move through it and make myself a better person rather than like, shit. Now this is on me and I have no choice to face it. And honestly, from my perspective, both of those are very powerful. However,
Jessilyn Persson (07:25.27)
Yeah? Yeah!
You
Jessilyn Persson (07:38.145)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (07:43.949)
We can perhaps see them differently perceive them differently and thus experience them differently so I think what your statement said was so powerful because you bring that responsibility in now and then guess what if something does shift you you've already gone through that but you went through it in a way you chose to move through
Jessilyn Persson (07:50.656)
Yeah.
Jessilyn Persson (08:05.984)
Yep, and you got more support, right? Because you're on good terms in your marriage at that point, right? So they'll support you, teach you, you can do it together, and who knows? That could be one of the factors in the relationship that helped make or break it, right? Not for everyone, but money is the leading conversation of divorce. So take that into perspective and learn about money and how to build it, the wealth, the investing. I'm not saying like,
go crazy and you gotta learn about stocks and bonds and all that crazy stuff. If you want to, absolutely, but if not, at least know your wealth plan and be on board with your partner to grow it. And then this way you know where it's going, good or bad, with the marriage, you know the outcome and where you can take it should things maybe not go the direction you were hoping for.
Alara Sage (08:57.389)
I know this is something that you guys speak to that couples need to align, right? And this goes along with choice, right? Because if one of the couple, the partner is over here making choices in this direction with your wealth and your finances, and the other one is making choices going in the opposite direction or 45 degree, different direction, you're not aligned, right? And those choices are going to...
Jessilyn Persson (09:02.88)
Yes.
Jessilyn Persson (09:17.494)
Yep.
Alara Sage (09:24.511)
what comes through is like energetically have less impact, right? Then if you align your choices, now all of your actions are moving in tandem and those choices are gonna have more of an impact. Can you talk a little bit about that?
Jessilyn Persson (09:38.37)
Absolutely, so my husband and I, are real estate investors and we've been investing together since 2009. So we were always on board with the idea of investing in real estate together.
But in 2016, my husband came home from work one day and said he's done, he's maxed out, no more properties. And that didn't align with my goals. And so I signed him up for a program to go learn more about real estate. We laugh about it now. He was not happy with me at the time, but he went once, once the first time and it completely changed his perspective and his outlook and his abundance mindset. And we bought three more properties in 18 months after that.
We were currently buying one every two years. He just didn't know my vision and I didn't know how to articulate it. And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna put you in a group, like a real estate investors group, where they think like this, and there's more men than women, so they can bond differently. And that was one of the best moves I've ever done with my husband. And he admits it too. But since that, we are now not just aligned, we have the same vision and we're walking the same path.
Alara Sage (10:49.325)
That's so powerful. I feel kudos to him because even though it wasn't his initial choice, he still chose to take on that responsibility and join the group. That's hilarious. have heard other people say, a lot of men actually say that their programs, the wives will sign their husbands up for the programs with the men. So that's hilarious. And so what are some of the...
Jessilyn Persson (11:01.782)
Yup.
Jessilyn Persson (11:09.473)
You
Yup.
Alara Sage (11:18.549)
most important choices we can consider with regards to our wealth.
Jessilyn Persson (11:24.174)
I'd say firstly, choose it. Choose, you want to be wealthy. And that might be a little bit of a longer path for some people, right? That might have to start with your mindset. Because if you have one of poverty, which I did, I grew up without money and that's what I knew, it took some time and self -development to change that and really understand that just because I grew up that way.
that doesn't mean it has to stay that way. And just because my understanding of money I inherited from my parent, one of my parents I should say, which most of us do, we learn it from one of our parents or if not both, I don't have to be like that. I can choose to change it and from there choose to build my wealth. So once you change it, I'm tell you like, yes, I want wealth. Then what does that look like? Because like you said, it's different for everyone.
figure out what that looks like for you, your partner, your family, and then start putting a plan together and action. What that's gonna look. And we're not talking tomorrow, right? This is going to take months, years to build wealth, and even your mindset might take some time to shift. But when you do, I promise you, it changes. And it has for me. Now I see it everywhere. When I'm out and about, I'm just like, money, money. Like, you look, you're like, if there's a lineup in a fancy store,
Okay, people got money. If there's fancy cars driving around, money, money. I'm not saying they're all wealthy. They might not choose to spend their money wisely, but there's money everywhere. So we encourage people to realize there's enough money to go around. Just because you're getting a promotion or you're pursuing an adventure that makes you money doesn't mean your partner, like your boss or your neighbor or someone's losing out. They all have the choice to choose it as well.
Alara Sage (13:16.627)
I saying choose wealth, it sounds really easy. And I think a lot of people would maybe say, but I am, I do want to live wealthy. But to really make that choice, devote yourself to that choice and really move along that path, that's what really delineates somebody who just says that they want to live wealthy and perhaps never makes the changes. And for those who do, I also grew up
Jessilyn Persson (13:21.921)
Mm
Alara Sage (13:46.283)
you know, without a lot of money. And my ex husband grew up with a lot of money. So it was interesting because when we had those dynamics, he didn't have any money fear. He didn't have a lot of limiting beliefs around money. Money was always one of those things. was just always there. He always had access to it. There were never conversations about like, we can't afford that. That's too much money. We don't have any money. Don't spend money. It was quite the opposite in his family. And it was really quite
Jessilyn Persson (14:01.964)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (14:14.751)
nice to see that. It was nice to see his mentality was very relaxed and he felt safe where I didn't feel safe. I felt like there was limitations and there's a squeeze involved with money. And just like you said, it took me consistent choice. I had to say, desire wealth and it's not showing up.
Jessilyn Persson (14:28.502)
Yes.
Alara Sage (14:40.127)
and I'm choosing wealth and it's not showing up and I'm choosing wealth and it's not showing up and wait it's beginning to show up.
Jessilyn Persson (14:48.01)
Exactly. It takes time, right? And you can't just say it. Like your actions gotta follow it, right? And it's not like you put out there, I choose wealth and you expect it to fall. And then you're going out there and you're going on a shopping spree and this and that. It's like, well, no, you gotta be smart with your choices of money when it comes in and investing in what that looks like.
Alara Sage (15:11.863)
What do you recommend for somebody who definitely wants wealth and yet that seems very elusive, right? Like, okay, I choose wealth. I choose to create wealth. What does that mean? You know, how do you recommend those first steps for them after that initial decision?
Jessilyn Persson (15:32.194)
So I would recommend, firstly, ideally they journal or write down, like okay you choose wealth, write that down. But then start right now, what are your money beliefs? Because regardless of what you choose, that will get in the way. Right, so figure out your money beliefs, because you'll probably have to start there. And if they're great, awesome. If they're not, you're gonna want to figure out, okay where did they come from, what do they mean, what does that mean to you? Rewrite them, right? Reprogram what your money beliefs are.
start doing some research, like educating yourself on wealth because it's a vast topic. And how do you want to be wealthy and how are you going to invest? Like we specialize in real estate, but we understand there's tons of other opportunities out there that aren't necessarily real estate related that you could invest in and make your wealth on.
So once you've kind of figured out your money beliefs, then I would recommend you write down what does wealth look like to you, right? Like maybe it's the life you live now, but you retired 10 years earlier. Or maybe it's you want to work 10 hours a week and take summers off right now because you've got kids and you want to spend that time. Or maybe you want the whole thing. You want the beach vacation. You want to take your kids with you. You want to work like ours is time and...
Location freedom. That's our big thing is we want to able to work from wherever kind of whatever That costs money and that costs a certain style that took us several years to get into process so if you're kind of Dedicated or stuck to a nine -to -five in an office. You can't be location away, right?
If you want to be, you can change that. You just gotta look at how you get yourself to become remote working or start your own business. So really dig into what wealth means to you. And then once you figure that out, we recommend breaking that down. Okay, so what's it going to take? Break that into smaller goals and then tasks under that because if it's overwhelming, you'll just shut down. You won't do it. But little tasks, and we say like one.
Jessilyn Persson (17:40.802)
a day, especially if you're full -time working, have kids, you can't take on 10, I'm gonna conquer the world this week. And then your kid comes home crying and your teacher's calling, it's like, yeah, no, that's not happening, right? So make it manageable so it doesn't get lost or forgotten. And be forgiving to yourself. If you don't get to that task in that day, it's okay, pick it up tomorrow. But don't stop, keep going and...
It's like a little bit of an uphill at first, but like you said, I want wealth, I want wealth. And then suddenly it's there and it's there and then it's bigger and it's bigger and it's like, my wealth is here. I got more time for it, I'm here. I got flexibility here. My bank account's growing and it it starts to roll like a snowball downhill. But it's time, it takes time to get up to the top first.
Alara Sage (18:31.873)
I love how you speak to that. It's you know, we can't just say, okay, I wealth. And then of course expect for it to land in our lap. And there is a time there right of where we have to believe we to believe in ourselves. We have to trust in ourselves. We have to trust in our ability, right? Trust that if I set a goal and I continue to take action, the tiniest footsteps on some days, the giant footsteps on other days.
Jessilyn Persson (18:41.622)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (19:00.567)
but continue to take those footsteps, trusting that it will be created because it will. Like that's the truth of it. You know, there is an energy of resilience in these types of creations. And if we continue to just point in the same direction, we will arrive there. But it's an important thing because in a society of instant gratification, you know, we tend to go, okay, I want wealth and then be like, gee, this isn't working. Okay, nevermind.
Jessilyn Persson (19:27.723)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (19:29.533)
And we throw it out with the baby in the bath water. You know, we wonder why we never achieved it. It's such an important part. And I want to speak to, you mentioned earlier that when you choose to create wealth, all of a sudden, or, know, as you start doing this, you start to see it, right? You start to see the money and the cars and the representation of wealth. And
Jessilyn Persson (19:32.576)
Yup.
Alara Sage (19:57.195)
It's so powerful because you get to choose to then see that wealth is available. Wealth is there is money. There is not scarcity. There is not lack. And you had mentioned something similar before we started recording about you also get to choose. I have time instead of saying I don't have any time. I can't do this. I don't have this. That's not available to me deflecting and
You have the choice to say, okay, how do I make use of the time I have? How do I make use of the resources I have? Can you speak a little bit about those kinds of choices?
Jessilyn Persson (20:39.618)
Absolutely, so we're all busy and we hear that all the time. I'm too busy I'm too busy and I just got so tired of hearing that that now if if I know you I will probably call you out on the spot and be like no It's not that you're too busy. You're just choosing what you're doing with your time and a great example is I was in an entrepreneur group and There's gonna be a convention in Mexico and one of the ladies came up to me and she's like I can't go so they run my own company I manage it. I'm like well firstly no
acknowledge that you're choosing not to go and she just looks at me kind of funny. I'm like, so firstly you could go, you have eight months before this trip is happening, you could line up your management, you can get your company organized in time, you can book it and you can choose to go. She's like, I never thought of it like that. And I'm like, it's simple. You choose one way or another, so make it work for you. And another thing I love about Choice is,
Most people always choose the good, the happy, the blessing of it, but they don't choose the other side of it. So whether that's your partner, you love so many qualities about him, but there's some qualities that drive you nuts. And some people will be like, I can't stand that. Well, just accept it. Choose your partner for everything he is and everything he isn't, and it'll just be a lot more peaceful for you. And the same thing is with money. If you're investing it, regardless of your choice of investment, there's always going to be some kind of risk.
So yeah, we all want the windfall, but gosh darn it, if it goes down under, we're mad. And that can ruin our day, our week, our month, or stop our wealth altogether. That didn't work, I'm done. I was like, what? Well, no, no. Learn from it and move forward. But if you choose both sides of the equation before you decide, you don't have to deal with it later. If you do take the loss, it's like, okay, yeah, this is not cool. I don't love it, but I knew this was a
a possibility and here are my steps moving forward because I already knew this was a possibility in the choice I made. So people just look at choices, everything is a choice and that's what I really would love people to decide. like okay, even weight, if you look at weight and eating healthy, like if you choose not to eat healthy today and tomorrow and you gain weight, which then leads to diabetes, strokes, heart, this comes back to choose your heart.
Jessilyn Persson (23:02.58)
Sometimes it's hard to say no to the chocolate. I know, I love chocolate, right? But it's like, okay, do I want my heart now? Say no. Or do want my heart later and deal with possibly diabetes?
And I say that because it runs very rampant in my family and I was a pre -diabetic during my pregnancy. So like I understand the magnitude of how that works in my body now. But it comes back to the choice. You choose what you put in your body, whether it be physical food, drink or mental, what you accept and how you talk to yourself. You choose when you want to go to sleep. You choose whether you journal or make time for meditation and time for self -care.
You choose how you deal and work with your children or not, the answers you give to your boss, your relationship with your partner, they're all choices. And if you feel like you have a boss of power somewhere, I would encourage you to look at that. Because odds are you didn't choose something in there. And that's why you're feeling this in your stomach, this or this disrupt or this uncomfortability, because it's like...
You're not like, woo, in your power, you're like, I don't like that. Speak up, make a choice, and say what you want, because if you want to be happy, you're the only one who can make you happy. And that was a hard one for me to learn, because I just assumed my husband could read my mind, right? And that's just not possible. And even 10 years, we're coming up on 14 years, you would think, wow, he's known me for 10 years, he should know that by now. Nope, it's not his priority. I have to communicate that with him.
if it's a priority for me and let him know how I feel about that so he can understand and move forward with that. But if I choose not to say anything, that's not his fault.
Alara Sage (24:56.373)
Yes. And I love how you brought in chocolate too and the whole, you know, choosing what we eat and stuff, because I also believe or see a lot that sometimes we have this belief that, well, if I, you know, don't buy myself the things that I want to buy myself, which may or may not be in alignment with truly creating your wealth, right? Aligning your money with where you really want to invest it.
Jessilyn Persson (25:18.988)
Yep.
Alara Sage (25:22.565)
If I am not eating the foods that I want to eat or if I'm not just watching whatever I want to watch on TV and not meditating, then we're depriving ourselves of something. I've actually had clients say that to me. And it's so interesting to me because I always say, but if you had a child or have a child and the child says, just want to eat candy and watch screens all day long.
And you say, no, you can't do that. Right. Is that deprivation? No. Right. That's choosing something that is really ultimately serving them. And so we have to parent ourselves. Right. We got to be like, come on now. You know, knock it off. Like, choose these better decisions for yourself. Choose the better place to apply your money that you know is going to be beneficial. And we don't have to see this deprivation.
Right. We can see it again as, this is really exciting because, hey, if I go to the gym again today, right, that's going to make me feel better. If I choose to not buy the fancy dress, but instead apply the money, this place that I know is really going to be what's going to create wealth. I'll get to buy that dress or a dress or 10 dresses down the road when I feel like that's more available with well.
Jessilyn Persson (26:45.29)
Exactly.
Jessilyn Persson (26:49.408)
Yeah, absolutely.
Alara Sage (26:52.781)
Do you find that word deprivation ever with your clients, particularly with the conversation of money?
Jessilyn Persson (27:02.22)
So you mentioned the great point. We're all about instant gratification, right? I really see that in my kids. I didn't have that. So when I watch it, I'm like, how did that happen? wait, that's me. But like that instant gratification, it's, there's something good to feel about waiting for something or knowing you work. And I'm not saying go bust your butt.
to live necessarily certain things. But I'm saying like, if you can hold off to get something, you'll feel that much better depending on what it is. And we don't encourage deprivation, as people might call it. It's like, you wanna have chocolate? Go have it. Just don't eat the whole bar. Eat a piece, right? And it's like, you wanna go watch Netflix?
Perfect. If you currently watch two, three hours, take 30 minutes and spend it on like educating yourself on something financial and then take the other two hours and watch and slowly
I think you'll just realize that Netflix is really not helping your wealth. But even 30 minutes a day or whatever that looks like for you will start to add up and then you're going to start to see the shift in that deprivation mindset and realize, wait, I'm not deprived. It's a choice. I don't want to watch Netflix all day. I want to have wealth so I can be out there with my kids and do the things I love.
Alara Sage (28:28.833)
Because yeah, and I love how you speak to more of like the balance, right? And I know that you guys do teach that with the couples you work with and kind of that life work, life balance. I just find it fascinating because deprivation is really along the lines of scarcity, right? Scarcity mindset. And if we believe we're being deprived, we're going to experience as deprivation. But again, if you just say, well, why don't I?
Jessilyn Persson (28:33.494)
Thank you.
Jessilyn Persson (28:44.438)
Yes it is.
Jessilyn Persson (28:50.485)
Okay.
Alara Sage (28:53.645)
Why don't I just give, know, out of the two hours, like you said, 30 minutes, right? You make that choice. It's still a line for you. You don't create that feeling of deprivation. Now you're actually, you know, still feeling, okay, I get to have it. I get to eat my, have my cake and eat it too. What has been, you know, the, some of the most challenging choices that you guys have had to make with regards to your wealth.
Jessilyn Persson (29:09.022)
Exactly!
Jessilyn Persson (29:22.705)
that's a good one. So back in 2020, we jumped on board with a couple of partners, business partners, and we went pretty all in. And my husband had a still a job. He was working 17 years with this company. We decided he was going to quit and go full time in. And he gave notice on a Thursday, the pandemic hit us Monday, everything shut down. Of course, you can't plan for that. We weren't expecting it.
Well now we're both unemployed trying to build a business. Thankfully for our real estate it kept us floating for a year and a half, two years, which most people don't necessarily have, but we didn't make money so we learned what's our bottom line.
Like what's our basement living expenses? How can we kind of crunch down until we have income? Because you know when you first build a business, the money doesn't generally just flow in, especially during the pandemic. So we had to really learn what lean meant. that...
in turn really showed us how lean we could live, how extravagant we were living so we could shift it so we still have a little bit of that extravagance but have a little bit more to put into wealth to build it bigger and faster. So I'd say that was probably one of the hardest
things we went through was just, this is how you build a business. It doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen over a month or two. Like, my gosh, okay, we're at the end of our rope when it comes to money. What do we do? And so we decided to go back to our original work that we had before we gave it up and just land new jobs and contracts to replenish our funds so that we could continue to build our dream life and our dream business.
Jessilyn Persson (31:11.446)
But it was like, at first, because you know, again, when you're like, well, what's worst that can happen if this don't work out? We go back and get our day jobs, right? Yeah, you don't think you have to. And then we did, and I was like, it was not comfortable. I was pretty mad. But then when I like, okay, I did say this, I'm choosing to go back. But when I went back, it was a whole different mindset as well, because I was like, well, I'm choosing to go back for specific reasons now.
It's a means to an ends. It's there to help supplement the lifestyle and the business I want.
I don't see it as a grind, a nine to five, I'm never gonna get out of it. It's like, no, this is giving me the life I want. And so even the way I see my coworkers, my colleagues, and the projects I'm on, I'm like, bring it guys, we got this, right? It's like a whole different mindset because now I chose to go back and on my terms. So that's, I think that's a big one. A lot of people wanna leave their jobs and they jump and if they fail, they think they failed and that's it, they're doomed, they're stuck to their regular nine to five.
I was like, well, no, just pick yourself back up, figure out to get yourself back on track, start again.
Alara Sage (32:26.093)
Because those lessons are invaluable. They really are. We gain so much awareness and truly intelligence from them if we allow ourselves to receive that. And it's always so important, I think, for everybody to hear when we hear other people make mistakes, especially if we're desiring that. And it is courageous act to move from
regular salary jobs or a paid position to entrepreneurship. And it doesn't always necessarily work out the first time or it definitely takes a while. You know, these like, quote unquote, overnight successes, like that's actually generally 10 years, 10 year business success is considered overnight. But nobody talks about that. Right? So when I started my business, I was like, overnight success, baby, we're making it happen.
Jessilyn Persson (32:55.245)
Mm
Jessilyn Persson (33:04.332)
Yes.
Jessilyn Persson (33:10.352)
Yup.
Jessilyn Persson (33:17.666)
I Yup.
Alara Sage (33:22.509)
I didn't even know that meant 10 years.
Jessilyn Persson (33:24.31)
You
Jessilyn Persson (33:28.246)
Yeah.
Alara Sage (33:28.939)
Somebody forgot to tell me the little like, you know, small wording at the bottom, the fine print.
Jessilyn Persson (33:34.939)
And then we're hard on ourselves because we actually believe it's an overnight thing's possibility.
Alara Sage (33:40.363)
Yeah, yes, yes. And like, what did I do wrong? Right? No, it's absolutely, you know, it's entrepreneurship is all about making mistakes and continuing to show up over and over again, regardless. It's so important. And what would you say? I know you guys work a lot with couples and it's such an important aspect because there are two minds.
Jessilyn Persson (33:44.205)
Yeah
Jessilyn Persson (33:51.115)
Yes.
Jessilyn Persson (34:08.927)
you
Alara Sage (34:10.401)
And, you know, we could say, every couple to have, you know, aligned values and goals. And yeah, that's definitely true. And again, there's still two people, right? There's still two people making actions, making choices, bringing their creative genius into the world in a relationship. So what do you really recommend for couples to start to align with their choices?
Jessilyn Persson (34:41.267)
question. So one of the first things we always almost recommend is schedule the conversation. I know it sounds boring and very business -like.
But if you schedule, if you know every, let's say Sunday, so for example, us, every Sunday we have in our calendar a discussion on finances, discussion on relationship, and then we have family intention setting with our little kiddos, right? But we know, so every Sunday we're gonna talk about it. And it's not like how are our finances? they're great. No, it's like how are we doing in this area? What can we do to improve? Or what's our next move? Or if there's something, we got a lump sum of money, it's like okay, we wanna invest it. Where? Let's talk about that, right? So we bring
Conscious decisions and things to the table to talk about But another thing that does is firstly it sets you up for success because you know it's coming. You're gonna have that conversation regardless You're now aware so you can prepare for it You know, it's coming so you don't have to feel like middle of the work my husband I both work from home and so sometimes I just go upstairs and he's in the common area So I would be like, okay, I'm blah blah blah blah and he'd be like Jess. I'm working right and it's like
I just disrupted his time. But now it's like, no, okay, it's finance. I'll make a list so I know I have a space that I can talk to him, which takes out any kind of conflict. Because if you're sitting on something, regardless of what it is, an issue, and it festers for a day, a week, a month, and then you're just, it just blows. And then it's a full -on argument. And it's like, if you'd preset it every week,
you know something's going to come up and you're prepared to talk about it in a calm, casual space as opposed to both personalities a little bit irate or angry and that's when the blame and the past comes out, right? Now it's like you don't need to worry about that because you know where you stand.
Jessilyn Persson (36:35.242)
And within there, you can also set rules, which we recommend. It's like, okay, talk about something, firstly, time box it. Because there is a real thing called conversation fatigue. I know, I've it several times and my husband finally learned. And I've learned to just call it. Be like, I'm done, I got nothing else to add right now. My mind is blank, let's rebook.
And I'm not saying like if there's a heated conversation, you might want to rebook it for the next day. You might not want to wait a week, but like rebook it. So firstly, there's closure and you both know you can come back to it, but there is no point in carrying a conversation where one person is checked out. That's not going to help either of you. Right? So time box it and then have decisions within there. So it might be like our rules. should say like maybe like, okay, I want to talk about this, but I want to focus just on this and we're not bringing in the past or set specific.
Space where it's like, just want to know your emotions or feelings on it. Get that out of the way. And then, okay, what are the actual facts? Now that I've gotten off my mind what I really think, tell me the facts. And then I'm actually in a space to hear the facts and be like, I didn't know that. But if I'm all, you're giving me facts, I don't care, shut up, right? Like, so just get yourself in a head space to accept what your partner's talking about. And we always say to lead in with how questions. So like,
How do you propose we can do that? Or how does that look to you? Because the minute you go, why do you want to do that? It's accusatory and their defense is up. And now they're looking at like, what did I do wrong? What happened here? Instead of like actually having the conversation you're meant to have. So those are a tips.
Alara Sage (38:12.813)
That's a really great point because definitely being asked why do you want to do something like that? It feels more like somebody's like questioning you, right? Versus, okay, well, how do you want to do that? all right. Then that feels really open. I really love that advice. Do you ever have couples where one couple is continuously making the choices that aren't aligned with wealth? And if so, how do you help the couples through that?
Jessilyn Persson (38:42.21)
That's a great question. So generally when we start our program, we build the first half is on foundation. And some people come in and they're like, right, because they're like, they just want, how do I invest real estate now? Right? we're like, we're going to start with foundation. That starts with values. Right? What are your values? And we get the couple to do it separately, their homework.
Alara Sage (38:57.825)
I don't want foundation.
Alara Sage (39:07.597)
Mmm.
Jessilyn Persson (39:08.844)
Then they got to come together and go through it. And that's where they find the little surprises to realize, I didn't know that was one of your values. And we've never had an issue, at least yet, where it's been a bad thing. It's just a knowledge thing. They didn't talk about it. And then it's like, well, I'm OK with that. And I'm comfortable with that. And that's similar. Or I can adopt or accept that. So if you come to the core of your values, and then we talk about like, we do the same thing with adversity. We get them to do assessments on adversity.
assessments on how prepared they feel they are, right? And like, to the financial side, like, okay, go through this and then come together. And there's a lot of things that will open up right there to show where you and your partner are, and are not aligned. And that just right away gives you that knowledge base to know where your partner is. So they might not understand finance the way you do, or they might, they might think they're prepared. And you're sitting there going, I'm not what what
How are we prepared, right? And it's just a different understanding of preparation. So once you get all that out of the way, they're now on the same page when it comes to what happens if adversity strikes. How prepared are we for these different situations? What does finance mean to us? What are our values for, have your independent ones, but what are our values combined for our family? So I find that just really lays a nice foundation to now get into like, okay, now that you guys know that about each other,
and where your hiccups are as well. Let's talk about building your wealth plan. So what does it look like? And again, go away, come together, and then we work with them as well. Okay, what does that look like? And tell us what your plan looks like, like long term, five, 10, 15 years, depending on age and where they are. What does that look like? Okay, great. Now let's talk about what it's gonna take to get you there. So, and generally by then, they're on the same page.
because they've worked out all these other little underlying issues. Right? Because if they're like, I don't want to my wealth, well, that would be a red flag right there. It's like.
Alara Sage (41:15.987)
Yeah, that's a big red flag. But so you don't after after all of that, which is such powerful work. And I love how you say, yeah, they want to come in and just, okay, let's build our wealth. And just like anything, you have to build a foundation on a building right before you go to bed the building. Otherwise, it'll take the tiniest little
Jessilyn Persson (41:18.603)
Like, who doesn't want to build their wealth, right?
Jessilyn Persson (41:32.876)
You
Jessilyn Persson (41:36.268)
Yep.
Alara Sage (41:41.101)
quake or a little bit of water or whatever, you know, quote unquote natural disaster that will just tear the whole building down, right? So my question is, so after you're building that foundation, it sounds like you guys don't really run into a lot of issues where regardless of all the value in the foundation building, one of the partners just continues to make bad choices or unaligned choices.
Jessilyn Persson (41:47.489)
Yeah.
Jessilyn Persson (42:04.546)
So the bad choices, I think they come out to an understanding. Like do they understand why they're making those choices? Right? And where is their partner when it comes to those choices? Like is it independent? Is it, are you aware and you're not seeing anything? So it comes to really getting all the baggage out to put it quite bluntly, like are you disclosing everything?
Because we can't help you, you can't help you if you got skeletons in your closet. So come out with everything and then we can help you. Because it might be like if they have say bad habits, spending habits for example, and sometimes that's like, it's an addiction, it's kind of like, I'm stressed out, go shopping. And it's like, okay well, let's back up. That's an addiction to go shopping. You want to stop the shopping, but you can't stop the shopping if you don't know what's causing the addiction. And if it's the stress, what's causing the stress?
Alara Sage (42:51.189)
Absolutely. Yeah.
Jessilyn Persson (43:03.83)
So you really have to back that up to figure out the root cause because we can't band -aid it. Band -aid, later when you're investing in whatever it is, it's just gonna be bigger disaster if it's a band -aid, right? So we gotta rip that band -aid off and find out what's under there and help you figure that part out first so you know consciously.
Alara Sage (43:17.954)
Yeah.
Jessilyn Persson (43:30.178)
because it's going take time for you to change that habit, especially if you know you've been doing it for years, right? Going to the shopping app, I'm going, and then you're like, wait, I'm stressed. Put the phone down, put the phone down and look at why I'm stressed. And then you're not spending money on the shopping app, as an example. One of my clients, know who had that. But it's a real thing that people struggle with. But that doesn't mean both partners are struggling with it, right? One partner might literally not understand it. They're just like, she's got a shopping habit.
bad shopping habit and then they wave it off. It's like no no no let's understand why your partner does because then you can help her not have that stress that's causing her shopping habit. It's all like a ripple effect or domino effect where if let's get you and your partner aligned so that they when they see these little flags or these little things coming to you they can help come in between to shift where you are or if you're struggling to
you because you got your support from your partner that's an incredible place to be.
Alara Sage (44:34.783)
It really is. mean, when we support each other, it's just unification, isn't it? We're so much more powerful working together than separate. And all of that advice is so wonderful. really, especially like the sitting down and having the conversations, the setting the plans, know, setting the goals, really digging into that. Otherwise, you know, I always say without intention, we're just splattering paint on the canvas of our reality. You know, we're not intentionally painting as you would call.
Jessilyn Persson (44:39.511)
Yes.
Alara Sage (45:03.903)
Life by Design, which is really gorgeous. Jesslyn, this has been so wonderful. I love this conversation. Tell the audience how they can find you, reach out to you.
Jessilyn Persson (45:14.978)
Absolutely, thank you. So you can go to our website Discover Life by Design and you can find out all kinds of information there including you can download our Wealth Guide. I'm also Discover Life by Design on all social platforms. We release a podcast as well every two weeks so you can go. It's actually Life by Design. We don't have a Discover in front of that one but we've been out since January so there's lots of tips and advice we share about our journey and what we've learned on how to build our wealth and our relationship. So check those out and yeah.
Please message me if you ever have any questions or want more information.
Alara Sage (45:49.335)
Fantastic. Thank you so much, my love, for being a part of the conversation. And to the audience, consider joining the Facebook group Wealth Embodied. And as always, I'll see you next Tuesday for the next solo episode. I appreciate you so very much.
Jessilyn Persson (45:53.43)
Thank you.
