Episode Transcript
<p><!--block-->Alara Sage (00:01.385)<br>Hello, hello and welcome to another episode of the ecstatic woman podcast where we activate and inspire women in their power in their authenticity and in their bliss. I'm your host a Laura sage. I am a womb shaman and a Shakti activator and I help women to really reclaim re<br><br>connect reawaken their most authentic self their sexy AF self their sexual power and Create exactly what they desire no matter the obstacles So this is a solo episode today where we get to go deep into a topic just you and I and I thought I would talk today about control<br><br>because this is something that is all over humanity and Control really Minimizes and sometimes even cock blocks<br><br>your magic.<br><br>Alara Sage (01:27.529)<br>Control is largely an illusion, dare I say it's a complete illusion. If you really consider how large the universe is,<br><br>and how large those systems and structures of the universe. If we go into, let's start with Mother Gaia, right? Where Mother Gaia creates and destroys, where Mother Gaia has seasons and shifts her seasons.<br><br>where Mother Gaia alters the terrain.<br><br>Alara Sage (02:12.041)<br>We have no control over that. And even in recent years, actually, we've been doing it quite a while where we've been manipulating the weather.<br><br>humans are not in control of the weather. No matter how much we think we are or desire to be, we're not.<br><br>Alara Sage (02:35.657)<br>Mother Gaia herself is her own creative energy. And then if we move outside of Mother Gaia, we have the Earth. We are only one planet of the solar system that is moving in and of itself. The planets are rotating around the sun. But then our entire solar system is rotating, spiraling through the galaxy.<br><br>And then you go out into the universe and out into the multiverse. It is a massive structure of systems.<br><br>Alara Sage (03:17.129)<br>If you start to consider all of that and then consider, are you really in control of anything?<br><br>Now, control and influence, control and personal power are very different things.<br><br>You can absolutely be in personal power. You can absolutely influence your reality and thus humanity and thus Mother Gaia and thus the universe and the entirety of consciousness. Absolutely. Yes. But are you in control of it? No.<br><br>Alara Sage (04:05.417)<br>In truth, it is only our ego that desires to control. And in truth, it is only the fear of death that causes our ego to desire to control.<br><br>So some people just call this the fear of the unknown, because that is an aspect of the fear of death. The ego dies. The body dies. The spirit carries forth onward. But because we are in a state of forgetting, we have a veil of forgetfulness. We don't remember all of our lives.<br><br>although many people are connected to many of them. I'm connected to many of them. I help my clients connect to many of them, which does in fact allow you to realize that you are multidimensional, that you exist in multiple different incarnations and experiences and allows you that bigger picture that helps you to let go of controlling this moment, this life.<br><br>this incarnation.<br><br>Alara Sage (05:19.881)<br>But for the most part, most people don't have that connection. And therefore, it appears as if there is just this one life. And perhaps you believe that. And if that is your belief, I honor and respect that. I disagree, but I honor and respect your beliefs.<br><br>So looking at it from only one life.<br><br>It really brings the entirety of<br><br>you and your potentiality down to this lifespan zero to what 85 90 90 years give or take that's what you got that's it that's it i mean how often do you hear you have one life this is it you have the one life and<br><br>While in some ways you can use that concept to fuel yourself, it also can do the reverse and it can trigger this fear of the ego.<br><br>Alara Sage (06:32.585)<br>I've got to get it. All right. I've got to make it happen or I've got to make things just so in this life to protect myself to keep myself safe to Avoid the inevitable quote -unquote death But of course you cannot avoid the inevitable and again when you have that bigger picture of seeing yourself as a soul that lives multiple lives and<br><br>at once. This is not your only life that you are living on a soul level right now.<br><br>Alara Sage (07:08.841)<br>It creates freedom in your space.<br><br>Alara Sage (07:16.649)<br>So control is this desire to have things in a particular manner. I want this like this. I want this like this. But that is not utilizing personal power. And it's not connected to the desire that I speak of, because control is rooted in fear.<br><br>And it is rooted in rigidity. It has a mental rigidity to it that is based in your logician, which is the opposite of your magician. So these are coming from the archetypes that have been created in psychology. This has been known for many, many years.<br><br>that humans have archetypes. So we all have these archetypes. And logician and magician aren't necessarily the exact terms used, but it's what I like to term that particular archetype as. Your logician is analyzing, analyzing the physical reality and saying, well, because of the physical reality, this is the case. Right?<br><br>Because I have no money in my bank account. That means I'm in a state of lack and I have to save and Spend less and do all these things. That's the logician. Of course, there is space for the logician But when the logician starts to say You know, I have to have my life this certain way. I have to save this certain amount of money every month I have to<br><br>Spend my money in this way. I have to Live in this particular part of the world. I have to You know Have this job. I'm not even coming up with very good ideas of control I don't know if you're noticing that but actually my examples of control are kind of shitty I think you know what control looks like but then again, I'll be honest I didn't realize how controlling I was I thought it was I'd never saw myself as a controlling individual<br><br>Alara Sage (09:38.057)<br>But I have control as a shadow in my gene key profile. So it's actually a big one for me. And it wasn't until I really started to look at it that I realized how much I controlled. But what I was controlling was myself. So I didn't have so much of the outward control of like, I need my house perfectly spotless. I need everything just to be this way. That makes me feel safe. I was actually controlling how I acted, how I behaved, what I said.<br><br>That was my version of control. And that is a version of control. Or you could be controlling your physical reality, right? And this can look like clean freaks. This can look like people who have to plan ahead and they have to have everything planned out. Plan out your day, plan out your week, plan out your life. Okay. Not to say that you can't have goals and structure because we need goals and structure, but<br><br>Rigid control right so always remembering That yes, we need we need structure we want goals those are all powerful But when we are saying that I have to have it this way or else I don't feel safe And that's not a conscious statement that is a subconscious statement, and you could recognize if you have this Where if something isn't showing up just the way that you want it to?<br><br>you become anxious. Okay. Anxiety is a really great example of where we are trying to control. When you feel anxiety, it's like you're going, Hey, what's up? You're in a state of control. Okay. So when people feel anxiety in social settings,<br><br>They are controlling themselves. I have to act a certain way. I have to be a certain way or I won't be received.<br><br>Alara Sage (11:44.105)<br>The thing about control is it is saying that it has to be this way. And your flip of the archetype of logician is magician. And the magician, first off, the magician creates what it wants instead of receiving the reflection of the holographic reality as the one and only. It's just this way.<br><br>It is this way. And so that's the way it is. That's all a jition consciousness. Magician says I'll create the reality that I desire. I'll shift it. I'll transform it. I'll alchemize it into something else. In the state of magic in the realm of magic. What happens often times?<br><br>is opportunity occurs outside of our ability to see it. So let me make this more clear. When you're trying to manifest, create something.<br><br>If you're saying it has to happen this one way. So for instance, let's go to money because money is a very easy thing because it has a measurement. Okay, some of the other things don't have measurements, but we could also use like finding a soulmate that has a measurement of acquiring the soulmate or conceiving a baby also has a end goal of conceiving that baby. And so if you're saying, okay, I want to find my soulmate or find an aligned partner that<br><br>really resonates that, you know, has all these criteria. Well, for one, having all that criteria can be control. There's a difference between having desires and it has to be this way. A person has to mark all of these things off my list or else. Okay. Well, I learned that lesson. I learned that lesson because I was told, you need a really conscious man. And I was<br><br>Alara Sage (14:00.777)<br>Going about creating my partner Everybody around me including when my mentors told me yeah, you need a really really conscious man. I was like, yes I need a really really conscious man. Okay that right there is subconscious control. This is what has to happen Okay, where like that in that message? Did not come through my intuition. It did not come from higher self. It came from outside sources, which sometimes can be<br><br>Messages, but that's not what it was. It was just people projecting their beliefs onto me and So I went about looking for conscious men and I didn't like any of them And I wasn't finding what I wanted Until one of my friends just simply said maybe you don't need a conscious man And when he said that there was an activation in my heart<br><br>And I knew that was truth. So I opened up this rigidity that I had set, this control that I had set. And I met my partner. And my partner still met that list of things that I really enjoy to have in a partner. Do you see the difference between, I actually had a list of what I want in a man and he meets all of them. But he didn't meet that rigid, it has to be.<br><br>and a conscious man, because what even is that?<br><br>Or if you think, OK, I'm going to meet a partner, and it has to come this way. Like for instance, using myself as an example again, I did not want to do online dating. And HireSelf was the one that came to me and said, do Facebook of all things. Such a crack out. And I was like, what? Are you serious?<br><br>Alara Sage (15:56.809)<br>So if I would have said no, I refuse that's not how my magical experience is going to arrive It's gonna happen. Did it? It may not have happened. I don't know. I don't know what right because I'm not in those other potentialities But that was a clear message for my higher self. I opened to that potential Okay, so for saying it has to happen a certain way with<br><br>money, you know, if we think, well, I have to earn money via giving work, right? So if that's in a business, or excuse me, in a career where you are going to work, and you are giving x money of hours for x amount of money. And that is the way that you see it has to money has to come through that way. So therefore, how can I create more money, because I have limitations there have limitations of time? Well, that is just simply seeing it.<br><br>a controlled manner. So if you're only in it, you're in if you're saying it has to come through this one way you're controlling it What if it what if it doesn't want to come through that way? What if you're meant to receive? money or your partner in a completely different manner that is It's just so incredibly aligned to what your soul is Attempting to learn experience in this life<br><br>Alara Sage (17:26.057)<br>Another example is I work with women who are struggling to conceive or retain pregnancy. And, you know, a lot of times they're really the whole point of the struggle, so to speak, is that they have some other things that they need to release and realize. And so they'll try to do all this energy of force of not all the women, but some women will, you know, do all this IVF and things. And I'm not saying IVF is wrong. But if you push<br><br>Okay, it has to happen and it's gonna happen in this way Because that's what the doctor says is possible And so I'm gonna do it this way Meanwhile your soul is trying to create a completely different experience for you The IVF won't be successful because that's not the point the then the point is not getting pregnant The point is what you need to see about why you're not getting pregnant This is magic<br><br>Alara Sage (18:23.497)<br>So understanding that control just cock blocks that magic cock blocks the potential ways in which your higher self is attempting to line potentiality, opportunity, synchronicity up in your life. And if you're not open to that, you won't receive it. You won't even see it, let alone receive it.<br><br>And then it's like things aren't happening the way you want them and you're focused on what the exact way you're trying to make it happen. And now you feel like a failure. Now you feel like the universe is against you right now. You feel like you're the one person who can't fill in the blank, find a partner, make money, conceive a baby, find the most aligned fulfilling career.<br><br>Ever that just lights you up. You're that person who can't But that's not true That is so far from the truth the truth is That's somewhere you are controlling it. Your logician is saying well This is where we feel safe. We feel safe to do it this way We feel safe in this identity. We feel safe in this<br><br>channel of potentiality. We don't feel, I don't know about those other ones. I don't know what that means. And so to be magical and to experience<br><br>Alara Sage (20:08.041)<br>quantum shifts and and synchronicities and that flow the fluidity of life because life is actually very, very fluid. That is the nature of consciousness. The nature of energy is that it flows energy moves when it becomes stagnant stopped suppressed oppressed controlled well.<br><br>It becomes toxic, just like water.<br><br>The natural state of universe of the universal creative life force energy that the universe uses to create that you use to create is flow. And to align to be in that state of flow, you have to learn to let go.<br><br>Is that catchy? To be in flow, you gotta let go. To be in flow, you gotta let go.<br><br>Let go. Let go.<br><br>Alara Sage (21:26.441)<br>And flow, and flow, and flow.<br><br>Alara Sage (21:36.584)<br>See now if I would have controlled myself right then that delightful melody would not have been experienced<br><br>Alara Sage (21:49.481)<br>And the version of me that used to be in control would have absolutely controlled that. I'm not a singer. What is going on here? What are you doing? You're making a fool out of yourself. So when we let go, I mean, for one, life is so much easier.<br><br>Now, it isn't necessarily easier in the beginning. And it's important to really acknowledge that. Because was it easy for me to let go of that self control? No. Did it feel easy? No, it did not feel easy. Really, really challenging. So I'm not going to paint this with rainbows and butterflies that, just let go and everything will be so easy. No, I mean, the act of letting go.<br><br>to that which you control is really challenging. But once you let go, you find the flow.<br><br>Alara Sage (23:00.265)<br>again bringing it back to my own personal experience so you can understand this.<br><br>I had I suppressed myself for you know, the majority of my life and That you know started to not be an option anymore Really when my Kundalini awakening happened my spontaneous Kundalini awakening<br><br>Alara Sage (23:26.313)<br>Started this. Yeah, I have to start being authentic and I didn't even know what that meant. I didn't I didn't know what it meant to be my authentic self because I didn't know who she was. I had suppressed myself for so long that I had no idea who I was in my authentic self. But what I did have to keep doing, which led me to my thought authentic self was I had to keep saying yes in situations where<br><br>Wanted to say no, but but the the feeling was a yes my my intuitive hit was a yes my logician and my ego mind from my point of fear and my desire to control Wanted to say no And there were plenty of times that I said no when the intuitive hit was a yes Okay, I didn't just come out of the gate after my Kundalini awakening and just nail all of my yeses<br><br>It took practice and little by little, you know, more of my authentic expression started to come out and it was not easy. I mean, for one, my authentic expression started to come out through my voice where I was speaking in tongue and using my voice to heal. Every single part of my ego mind wanted to stop that process. Wanted to say, absolutely not. We are not doing this out of fear.<br><br>and the desire to control myself. But the intuitive hit was strong and I took action and it took me years. It took me<br><br>like two solid years of practicing using my voice to heal to get to this point where it's just like, this is what's coming out of my mouth. Off tone, on tone, per pitch. I don't even know what any of, you know, doesn't matter. This is what wants to come out of my mouth. And that's it. And I free flow that now I mean, in, in the, in the space of healing, I don't just go talk, whatever.<br><br>Alara Sage (25:35.561)<br>speak my mind. I don't just open my mouth everywhere because that's not using wisdom. Okay. Sometimes love and wisdom is, is not saying what the, what the mind wants to say. Okay. Being authentic is not speaking your mind because your mind is just this thing that wants to blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. But in the healing space and the healing containers, when I'm using my voice for healing, there is no, there's no more suppression.<br><br>But that took me years and it wasn't easy. I kept showing up and and it was challenging in the moment. I wanted to shut my mouth and you know, I had this voice going like what are you doing? This is stupid. This is insane. This is like you're going to push people away from you. People aren't going to love you. People aren't going to accept you.<br><br>And that's the ego, the protection of its identity.<br><br>And so this can look different for everybody, right? Like maybe your your control is that your house has to be spotless or else, you know, you don't feel like you're a good person, right? Or maybe your control is<br><br>Alara Sage (26:54.569)<br>that, you know.<br><br>Alara Sage (26:59.465)<br>You know, what's really coming through is really this understanding of how much we control ourselves.<br><br>that we are constantly suppressing ourselves, constantly putting ourselves into a little box and saying, this is who I can be right now. I'm allowed to be this person. This really, whew, I feel that. Do you feel that? I'm allowed to be this person right now.<br><br>Alara Sage (27:32.969)<br>And so what if you're not that person, right? What if you're the person that wants to actually come through you? Like the other part of it for me has been, you know, this owning of sexual power and sex and the word sex and the energy around sex and sac sac sacs. I mean, I've projected that and avoided that for so long. And, and it's been really challenging for me to say yes to that.<br><br>I wanted to say, no, I'm not that person.<br><br>I'm not that person. I'm over here being this other person.<br><br>Because this feels safer. Like if I don't talk about that kind of stuff, I'll be received. Right. I'll be accepted. I'll be loved.<br><br>Alara Sage (28:26.025)<br>Be able to continue to say yes to the unraveling of you know what like my branding really wants to be sexy as fuck and I want to talk about sexual power and I want to activate women in that and I want women to really understand that energy and to create the reality<br><br>It lights me up so hard.<br><br>but before it has triggered so much fear. So understanding that if you have these intuitive hits about yourself or about a certain part of yourself to do or create or become and it scares you, then it's probably right in alignment with your soul.<br><br>And you will see how you will try to control it. Your ego mind and your logician will say, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, just wait a second here. Let's look at our past. Okay. If we take back in 1998 and we remember how we were in our sexual energy and we were rejected. Yes. Rejected double underline that please everybody. Let's double underline.<br><br>Rejected. Yeah see This isn't safe. Nope. Nope. Nope throw it out the window not safe. We're not going there Stop right here pivot the other direction Because that's what the logical mind does that's what the logician does it bases everything off the past but Aren't we ever evolving and if we're ever evolving as the universe?<br><br>Alara Sage (30:19.401)<br>ever evolves and changes and shifts and grows and expands. Are we our old self? No, we're not. Every moment we get to choose who we are. You literally flicker in and out of existence faster than the speed of light. And every time you flicker back into reality, you choose unconsciously who you are.<br><br>Alara Sage (30:48.297)<br>And we keep saying, no, no, no, no, no. I'm the person I've always been. Even if it doesn't feel right, it gives me anxiety. It makes me fearful. I'm not creating the life that I want to create. It's what I know. It's what I know. And therefore I'm going to continue to control myself into that box because that is what I am familiar with.<br><br>and therefore has a false sense of safety.<br><br>And I really emphasize if you didn't notice, false, because it's not real safety. The real safety is in your authentic self. And when you feel that safety.<br><br>Wow, you understand it. It feels very different to the false safety. The false safety is always precarious. The false safety, any minute feels like it could go. Any minute now, something could happen where our safety, security, love could be taken away, could vanish, could be rejected, could...<br><br>Alara Sage (32:09.545)<br>but your true sense of safety that is rooted in your sexy AF self, your most authentic self.<br><br>rooted in It is safety. It is security is love no matter what Happened no matter what no matter what this nonsense of the holographic reality shows to you you have That knowing and a felt sense of it. It is not precarious So you can see how control<br><br>is the illusion of keeping yourself in the false sense of safety, security, love. If we just stay here, there's a, I kind of have a sense of safety, security, love. You know, I don't know because that one time my boyfriend broke up with me and that, you know, I didn't feel loved anymore. and that one time that person said something to me and I didn't feel loved. And then<br><br>and then that one time that I lost my job and I didn't feel secure, that's all false.<br><br>but we'll try to cling to that which is known and try to control it for that false sense of safety security lab because we haven't experienced the true sense of safety security love.<br><br>Alara Sage (33:48.041)<br>So control cock blocks your magic. Control emphasizes, creates anxiety, tension.<br><br>amplifies fear, rigidity, manipulation. When you are attempting to control your reality and or attempting to control yourself, you will manipulate. I mean, we manipulate all the time. I want to make that really clear. It's part of the creative process and not in a bad way. You can manipulate positively and you can manipulate, you know, quote unquote, negatively. Okay. So just understand that about the word manipulation.<br><br>But when you're in a state of control, you will manipulate negatively. You will you will subconsciously do whatever you need to do to maintain a false sense of safety, security, love.<br><br>Alara Sage (34:49.737)<br>And so how do we let this go? To move into flow. I know you want me to sing again. I know you're just begging. You're just like, would you please, Alara, cast your beautiful voice upon me? I'm not feeling it.<br><br>Yeah, so how do we do this right? How do we? Let go control first. It's always awareness. Where am I controlling myself?<br><br>and or my external reality. So, you know, sit down with that question.<br><br>Contemplate it. Where am I controlling myself? Where do I? require that I fit into a certain mold In order to be safe secure love<br><br>And then where do I control my external reality to?<br><br>Alara Sage (35:51.433)<br>further create, reflect that false sense of safety, security, love. And where you can really find the truth is what do you fear to lose?<br><br>Alara Sage (36:10.921)<br>And I'm even talking about people.<br><br>because you can have attachment to people. And attachment is control.<br><br>So if you fear losing people in your life, you fear losing your job you fear losing even your children No, I'm not saying like grief, but the fear of losing them. Okay<br><br>Fear losing your money, fear losing the cleanliness of your home, right? Fear losing status or identity, fear losing how people see you, right?<br><br>You're losing some sort of label that you're carrying around of yourself. I am this and if I lose that Then what who am I? I don't know. I don't know what I am. I have to maintain this have to maintain this label I can't lose that label. Whatever that label is I have to maintain it Do whatever I can to make sure that that stays because if I lose that primary label of self that primary identity Who am I? I don't even know and that is scary af to Ego<br><br>Alara Sage (37:24.425)<br>So ask yourself what you fear to lose.<br><br>And then how are you currently trying to control?<br><br>Alara Sage (37:36.137)<br>that you don't lose it.<br><br>Alara Sage (37:40.841)<br>all your answers will be found there and If you really sit down and you do this, it's very revealing and you know, you will see where you can where you control and then and then step two after awareness is What are you really seeking there?<br><br>What is the truth of what you're seeking there? So for instance, well, if I lose my relationship, my relationship.<br><br>I don't know how I'll survive, right? Because it's a dual income. It's paying for all the things. How am I going to survive on my own? Right. So that's a fear of security and safety. Security, safety are very, very similar. Security has a little bit more essence of money and like needs being met. Right. But that can also go into safety.<br><br>If I lose my partner, I won't find love again, right? Maybe you have an idea that I'm 55 years old. And if I lose my partner, I'll be a 55 year old looking and like, where am I going to find love? Like, that's not even going to happen, right? So I just have to like, hang on to this partner. If I lose this identity that everybody has of me,<br><br>Well, I mean, I fear I won't be loved. I fear that who I am outside of that identity will be rejected. So it's always going to come down to one of those three safety, security, love. So what do you fear? What are you? What are you fear? And then what are you really seeking? Okay. And then understanding that you can find that in yourself.<br><br>Alara Sage (39:35.817)<br>And you can establish a relationship with it. And through that relationship of establishing the true safety security love, you will really connect to your authentic self, your sexy AF self. You'll connect to that part of yourself. And that will further create and validate the true safety security love that you are because you are an infinite being.<br><br>That is always safe, secure and loved. You are love incarnate. You are. You can't be destroyed. Your body can be destroyed. Your ego can be destroyed, but you cannot be destroyed. So there's always security and safety. But you have to connect to the authentic self. So first figuring out what you're fearful of losing. Okay. The awareness of where you're controlling. And then from that, what are you actually seeking?<br><br>in that attempt to control and then you start to establish that in yourself. So it can't be taken. It can't be lost. It can't be manipulated. It can't die.<br><br>Because it's you in your truth, in the essence of your soul, and in you as the light of God.<br><br>Alara Sage (41:02.793)<br>I hope this has given you some things to think about, and hopefully the examples helped you understand this concept a little bit deeper.<br><br>This isn't about not having free will because you always have free will. But letting go of control and free will control and free will are two different things. Okay, so understanding that and the more you connect to your sexy as fuck self, the more you understand what free will truly is and the application of that will.<br><br>And then in this most harmonious and synchronistic way, you desire more and more your free will to align to nothing more than divine will, the will. You desire more and more to kind of let go of that individual will and serve the will of the one. It's just a natural progression.<br><br>Okay, my loves, as always, this has been such a delight to be here with you. I am so grateful that you exist. I'm so grateful that you take the time to hear these conversations. And I do hope you sit down with the questions. And if you do, please email me info at laura sage .com. Tell me what you got to me, what you received. Tell me what came of the process. And as always, if you need help with this, I am happy to assist you.<br><br>You can always reach out to learn how you can work with me. Different programs and things that I'm offering to support your process. I love you all so very much until next time.<br><br><br></p>
