Episode Transcript
<p><!--block-->Alara Sage (00:01.342)<br>Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Ecstatic Woman podcast, where we inspire and activate women in their power, their authenticity, and their bliss. I'm your host, Alara Sage, the Ecstatic Life mentor, and creator and founder of Creator Consciousness. Fellow ecstatics, my beloveds, do you ever feel like you're holding yourself back? Perhaps you're letting that little bit of doubt come in and.<br><br>tell you how to run your life. I think we all experience this to some level, to some degree. And our special guest here today, Rachel Drunken Miller, is here to teach us and to help us with this. She is a keynote speaker and a workshop facilitator and a leadership trainer. Rachel is on a mission. She's a woman with a mission. Let's all give her a round of applause just for that, right?<br><br>Here to help organizations, leaders, and teams to unmute themselves. And also recently, Rachel, I believe that you had your first TEDx talk. So congratulations on that. I also believe that you're a singer, aren't you? So all the things. You got all the things going on. Rachel, thank you so much for being here today.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (01:12.611)<br>Thanks.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (01:20.034)<br>Thank you, Laura. I love it. I'm excited to have this conversation and to activate and to ignite something really positive and powerful and everyone who's listening and who's with us today.<br><br>Alara Sage (01:30.438)<br>Yay. So tell me, just to start the conversation off, how do you define unmuting yourself? What does that mean to you?<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (01:40.738)<br>So to me, it's a process that all of us go on and it looks different for each person. And it's this process of stepping into a part of ourselves that is moving from that place of self doubt to self worth, that is moving from holding ourselves back and keeping ourselves stuck in small to moving forward with self expression and with boldness and with courage in our life and in our work. It's showing up in a way that is<br><br>that is courageously expressed and confidently and boldly alive. That's for me, it's this embodied experience. And it's also a sort of a posture of how we show up in the world and at work. And it's the way that I choose to live, and it's the way that I want to help other people live their lives as well.<br><br>Alara Sage (02:28.098)<br>Hmm. Yeah, definitely speaking or, excuse me, singing the national anthem is courageous. You know, that's a big deal to stand up and sing in front of other people. Have you had any doubt come in with regards to your singing?<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (02:43.43)<br>Um, so every time, like literally every, I mean, I got asked to do that. I was, you know, growing up as a kid, I loved singing, but I think all of us had these little parts of ourselves that when we're alone, that we let that part be fully expressed, but the second, like even one other person is in that space. We shut it down. We mute it. We, we start to question it. We start to wonder if we're good enough. And that is how I felt for most of my life. So still for me.<br><br>Singing in front of anyone for any reason is still something that is very scary for me. But I'm at the point in my life where, like the national anthem, which is a really hard song to sing, like, you know, but I'm at the point now where if someone invites me into something, that's my indication that I'm meant to be in that space. And that's true, I think for any of us, we get invited in, that's somebody saying, I believe in you. And instead of letting the doubt be the thing that,<br><br>keeps us silent to say, well, you know what, maybe, what if I stepped into that? What if I let myself go for that and experience that and say yes to that opportunity and see what unfolds? So that's kind of the mode that I'm in now, even though it's uncomfortable still.<br><br>Alara Sage (03:53.106)<br>It's so important because I think a lot of people sometimes think that people who are out there, like singing the national anthem or doing whatever that is that they're seeing and they're experiencing another person doing, they believe or perhaps think that person isn't experiencing doubt, right? Or they're so confident or they've got it all figured out. And instead when we're really authentic,<br><br>And those of us who are doing those things are saying, no, totally I experienced doubt. And I've learned to just work with myself through that doubt. It really brings us back to being human and that these things don't go away. Because every time that you are bringing yourself outside of your comfort zone, there's going to be doubt. There's going to be questioning. There's going to be, can I do this? Can I step into this new version of me?<br><br>Those are such powerful questions, I feel like. And they're so powerful to self-contemplate and work with and not allow, necessarily, that doubt or that inner critic to jump in and shut us down, as you so wonderfully put. I know when we were first connecting, we were talking about questions. And to me, questions are such a powerful tool to work with ourself. I'm constantly asking myself questions.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (04:55.438)<br>Mm.<br><br>Alara Sage (05:16.486)<br>asking my universe questions, working with my clients and questions, and I feel like you're doing something similar. How do you utilize questions in circumstances like, let's go back to the singing? Because I didn't know that singing the national anthem was challenging. I'm sure it is. I'm not a singer. But I didn't know that song particularly was challenging. So when you're being called to sing the national anthem, a challenging song in front of people, and that doubt comes in, do you have?<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (05:28.586)<br>Mm.<br><br>Alara Sage (05:44.63)<br>questions and ways that you work with yourself through that.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (05:47.938)<br>Hmm. Yeah, I think part of it is coming to this place of if I say no to this, will I regret it later? So if I said no to this, because I was really I wasn't even sure I was going to do this. I got asked to do it. I wasn't something I was paid to do. It was just something that someone had heard me speak and sing at another event. And they said, we always have a national anthem singer come to this thing. Would you sing? And I was like, I don't<br><br>I've never done that before. I've never sung the national anthem, aside from being in a group of people. And so part of it, I was really contemplating, it's a full Friday. Is it really worth it? And I reached out to my dad, who knows me really well. And he said, well, do you think it's something you'd enjoy? And I was like, I think it'd be kind of cool. I think it sounds kind of cool. Well.<br><br>maybe that's a good enough reason to do it because somebody asked you and because it sounds fun. You know, sometimes we complicate things and it's like, might you enjoy it and, you know, is this interest or intrigue you in some way? And for me, that was enough of it and thinking, would I regret, would I look back after the fact if I had said no a week or two later and thought to her a month later, two months later and thought to myself, gosh, I wonder what would have happened if I tried that?<br><br>There's an author whose work I really love, Daniel Pink, and he wrote a book called The Power of Regret. And one of the things they found in their research is that regrets of inaction are far more common than regrets of action. So we are much more likely to regret things we did not do versus things that we did do. And even though I sang that song imperfectly, I sang it in a way that was very emotional. And when someone comes up to you afterwards and says,<br><br>Like I got goosebumps when you sang that. I felt that. I believed what you were saying. That's really the highest praise as a singer that you can receive is that you made someone feel something. Whether you hit every note perfectly is not the point. Even though my ego wants that to be the point. My performative ego is like, no, that is the point. Hit every note perfectly, don't screw it up. But my wiser, gentler self is like.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (08:05.834)<br>The point is to feel and to believe every word that you're saying so that they believe every word that you're saying so that they feel something. Like, that's the point.<br><br>So.<br><br>Alara Sage (08:15.83)<br>That really feels unmuted to me.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (08:18.514)<br>Yeah, right? But it's that regret so much of like, when we mute ourselves, we're more likely to have regret when I think when we mute ourselves, when there's something we want to share, or there's something we want to say, or there's something we want to express, and instead we supress instead of express.<br><br>I think we're more likely to have moments of regret. I think we can all think of a situation where I was like, I wish I'd gone for that thing. I wish I'd said yes to that. Rarely do we say, I totally should have said no to that. You know, like rarely.<br><br>Alara Sage (08:51.394)<br>especially when it's an opportunity, right? Like maybe when it's like, OK, we said yes to going out with friends when we were really tired or something like that, right? But when it's an opportunity and an opportunity in a way that we feel like, wow, that's a challenge. And I love it for you how it just kind of fell out of the sky, right? Like it kind of came out of left field. Ha ha, pun intended. And however, like it just.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (08:54.082)<br>Yeah.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (09:14.975)<br>Yeah.<br><br>Alara Sage (09:19.15)<br>shows up, like to me, I agree with you that that's the universe really saying, Oh, here, here's something for you to enjoy and to challenge yourself with. Those things don't always, don't always come around, you know? And so absolutely. I love that question of, would I look back on this and regret it? Would I look back and think, Oh man, I really wish I would have done that. And also what comes through is, okay, what if I just botch it completely?<br><br>Right? You know, will I still have been?<br><br>satisfied, happy, proud of myself, quite frankly, for doing it, right? Because it's so courageous. Like there's these things, these experiences and opportunities in our life that really ask us to dig deep in our courage. And for me, whenever I've done that, no matter the result, I'm always like, yeah, but I showed up. You know, like, just like you said, perhaps it wasn't perfect, but like I could feel how<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (10:17.974)<br>Mm-hmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (10:25.71)<br>I was scared, I was anxious, I was doubtful, and I still did it. And like it really feels like, what am I capable of? What am I capable of?<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (10:30.731)<br>Yeah.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (10:35.07)<br>Yes. And like, who am I? What kind of person am I allowing myself to step into? What version of myself am I allowing myself to step into by saying yes to this thing? And I mean, that is so, so many possibilities for how we can answer that question.<br><br>Alara Sage (10:55.607)<br>Mmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (10:59.338)<br>That's a really great question because I feel like for the listeners, you know, when you bring in that question, so we can all think of it as maybe something like each, each listener has something like singing for them, where maybe they've always done it, but they've never been asked to do it in front of people or, you know, it's just something that they enjoy.<br><br>And they could ask themselves, you know, what version of themself would they be stepping into if they really had the courage to just unleash that brilliance of themselves, like I just get lit. My whole body is just like surging with energy right now, because it immediately aligns you with, wow, look at how brilliant.<br><br>And I don't mean brilliant as ego brilliant. I mean brilliance as the luminescence of our genius, the luminescence of our being, right? When we allow ourselves to step into these spaces, our energetic fields expand, we light up, right? So I really feel that in my body. I think that's just such a glorious question to ask yourself and...<br><br>Give yourself the opportunity to feel that in your body. Did you do that, Rachel? Did you ask yourself that question before you received or gave the answer?<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (12:21.958)<br>I mean, it's sort of coming to me right now, like that question. Sometimes these questions come in the moment, you know, so when you had asked that question, was it sort of retrospectively? But more so the question that I was responding to, it's a two part question I was responding to is would I would a part of me would even a small part of me regret saying no to this? And, you know,<br><br>Alara Sage (12:22.242)<br>Do you remember? Ha ha ha.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (12:44.93)<br>what might this little adventure sort of like an adventure, right? When you're trying something you haven't done before, I'm like, I'm going on an adventure. I'm, you know, driving an hour from my house and showing up on this field to hang out with a bunch of people I don't know to sing this thing I've never sung in front of people before. And, you know, that feels like something really cool and interesting to do. And if we want to live a life that we feel is<br><br>Alara Sage (12:48.152)<br>Mm, ups.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (13:12.042)<br>you know, an interesting life or, you know, we say yes to cool things. We say yes to things that take us on those adventures. And so I think for me, more so than anything, it was this could be something really cool. I have no guarantee of the outcome to your point of how this is going to go, because I did not. But I.<br><br>felt like this is a next level challenge of doing an acapella song I've never done before in front of a group of people I do not know with very little preparation. You know what I'm saying? Like just singing in my office by myself a bunch of times and you know, hitting that pitch pipe right before I went out to sing on my phone to get the right starting note and then just kind of going for it and trying to like really, like if you're gonna say yes, say yes fully.<br><br>And making that decision to like, once I make this commitment to do this thing, that I'm going to go all in and I'm not going to try to hold part of myself back. Like if I'm going to sing this song, I'm going to sing this song at the bottom of my toes, the top of my head. And making that's a commitment that any of us can make in a situation where we get an opportunity or we get an invitation. We can say, if even part of me is curious about this, lean into that curiosity.<br><br>and listen to what it's saying to you, and let that be the guide that helps you make the decision about whether it's a yes or a no. And once you say yes, if you feel a bit more expansive, like, I'm kind of excited about this, you know, you have that moment of like, this is kind of cool. Even if it's a little jittery, you know, then you're like, oh, okay, this was definitely, this was the right choice for me to make, you know? So.<br><br>Alara Sage (14:50.552)<br>Mmm.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (15:02.21)<br>That's a really long answer, but it's I think it's a bunch of these little things and we don't sometimes retrospectively we get an understanding of why we might have said yes, ultimately to a thing.<br><br>Alara Sage (15:14.29)<br>Yeah, and Confucius says, wherever you go, go with all of your heart. Because it is like when we say we want to live these lives that are alive, that are fulfilling and joyous, it is about, is this a yes or is this a no? And if it's a yes, then OK, go. Show up with all of you, regardless of the outcome. At least you know afterwards, regardless of the outcome, you showed up.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (15:18.026)<br>Mm.<br><br>Alara Sage (15:44.146)<br>You did it. You did the thing, but you did it. You did it to the best of your ability, 100% of you in that moment. And that gives us a lot of satisfaction. That really fulfills us in our hearts. So Rachel, if the listeners sometimes feel perhaps like they are holding themselves back, they are muting themselves. And I'll just.<br><br>prod a little bit and say, listeners, maybe you should presume. I always think it's more powerful to say, where am I muting myself? Where am I holding myself back? Rather than like, no, I don't feel like I am, right? Because it just shuts it down. It shuts down the conversation. So always be inventational. I don't know, am I? Where am I doing this? Always allow for the conversation. So if.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (16:24.427)<br>Yeah.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (16:30.807)<br>Mm-hmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (16:34.526)<br>listeners are feeling that and maybe some of them are going, oh yeah, hell yeah, that's me. I'm totally muting, totally holding myself back. What are some questions? Maybe you have some favorites that we can bring forth that they can start to play with. So two questions, what are the questions? And then how do you recommend they play with the questions? Do you have a process that you recommend people use the questions with and what does that look like?<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (16:41.527)<br>Yeah.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (16:52.3)<br>Mm-hmm.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (17:01.91)<br>So this is something that I actually talked about in my TED talk a little bit. So I'll get a little sneak peek of that in this conversation. And that is I've asked, you know, at this point, over 1500 people I've heard from them of asking them what's a way that you're silencing yourself or muting yourself that you want to overcome. And the core response.<br><br>that the core thread that I see in all their responses about why they're meeting themselves is fear, right? There's fear of conflict, failure, judgment, other people's disapproval, not being good enough, retaliation from someone else. And so sometimes identifying, okay, what is this area? And asking it in a way of that I want to overcome.<br><br>Because sometimes if we just focus on the thing of what is the thing I don't like or a thing that's not working, that can sort of send us on a little bit of a like a downward spiral. But if we ask what's something that a way that I'm doing this that I want to overcome, then we're starting to immediately go into that space of possibility, which I think is really a powerful orientation for people to have when they're stuck, right, is to go to a place of what's possible. Because when you feel stuck, your options are very limited. You're not seeing multiple pathways. You're sort of in that tunnel and you're feeling trapped. So<br><br>I find that to be helpful, people to your point, to identify what's a way that they're doing this in some area of their life or work. And then the question of what is the cost of you muting that, silencing, doubting? And<br><br>That was in the TED talk I did that the first question that I asked and offered is because I share my own journey of times I've done that, of where there's been a significant cost to myself, to my own health and well-being, to people that I love, because I was silencing myself. And I think if we're honest, all of us can think of an area of our lives where it's like there's a cost of some kind to a relationship.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (19:01.87)<br>There's a cost in terms of peace within myself. There's a cost in terms of my ability to trust myself. There's a cost in terms of living in a space of regret and resentment, as opposed to a space of fulfillment and joy. And so inviting people to identify, mentally, relationally, emotionally, what is the cost of you doing this, of you silencing this part of yourself? And on the flip side of that,<br><br>What becomes possible if you were to have a workaround for that? If you were to not silence that part of yourself, what becomes possible in your life? What becomes possible for others? Like for me with singing, because I was so self-conscious about it for so long, I remember it's just 2018 and I was in a professional speaker program and we were going through parts of our speeches and our stories and at one part<br><br>I told a story of a time where I auditioned for a solo in gospel choir in college after coming home from a semester abroad in Spain. It was like sometimes we had these catalytic experiences that opened us up. And for me living in Spain, I mean, beautiful people, vibrant music, dance, movement, colors, food. You cannot be immersed in that culture and walk out of that thing feeling muted. Like it's just...<br><br>you'd have to try. And I tried and failed. And I came back and I was like, I would have tapped into a different version of myself. And that's, so I started singing, tried out for a solo and I sang on stage at this training and someone was like, oh, you must sing every time you get on stage. I said, I sure don't ever sing when I get on stage, literally, because it terrifies me.<br><br>And they said, oh, well, you should start. Like, that was beautiful. Like, I felt so moved by that. And it was like the thing that I kept in this little box. So all of us have little part of ourselves we keep in a box. And we put it in the upper left corner of a shelf somewhere. And we leave it there. And there's part of us that's like, oh, but I want that. And then we cut ourselves off from that. And I kept doing that over and over and over again when finally I'm in this space.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (21:22.358)<br>where I let myself go into this part of me that I really had not connected with for like 15 years. And like the thing that I was hiding was the thing that became what people in that community knew me for. And now stepping into being a singer songwriter five, six years later is a part of my identity I'm now embracing that for so much of my life, I disconnected myself from because of judgment and fear of not being good enough.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (21:54.07)<br>So it's like, I was robbing people of the opportunity to experience the joy that I show up with when I'm singing. Would I communicate through the messages and the lyrics that I write? Because of my own self judgment, we all do this in some way, because of our own self judgment, we rob other people of an experience that could be truly transformational.<br><br>and have a significant impact on their life because of our own judgment. And so as scary as it is, I've started to trust myself more and allow that part of me, even when it's imperfect and my, again, my ego gets so defensive and protective and angry when the not 100% pitch perfect Rachel shows up, I'm still working through that.<br><br>But I'm still doing it and showing up anyway, you know? So I think that's where we have the opportunity to do it, to recognize like, what is possible if you let that part of yourself be seen more fully? Who could be positively impacted by it?<br><br>Alara Sage (22:57.262)<br>I love the idea of robbing others because that's very true. And I think it really shifts it, right? Because we often think, oh, perhaps that version of us is going to, I don't know, cause others discomfort, or it's too much, or whatever it is. But when we turn that around and actually realize, no, who you are and your brilliance, that's not true.<br><br>genius you, that unique you, that only you is capable of doing when you show up with all of your heart and all of your beingness and say, hell yes, right? That you is so beautiful. And like you in that person, you in that expression, absolutely changes people. You know, we don't always understand how or why we don't need to, right? We just have to believe<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (23:51.775)<br>Mm-hmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (23:54.33)<br>Our brilliance is brilliant. Our light is eminence. And it reminds me of a couple of years ago, I connected to the belief that if I really said, hell yes to the level of life that I wanted in my heart, I believed I'd be abandoned. And there was no logic behind it. It wasn't like,<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (24:16.181)<br>Mm.<br><br>Alara Sage (24:20.022)<br>connected to my partner per se. I mean, there was a part that believed he would abandon me, but it wasn't about him. I don't know if it was about my parents. It felt from a parallel reality, felt like I came in with that in my life. But yeah, I would be abandoned, you know? Like, and like that's a big deal, right? Like I can't be my hell yes, my version of me that just lights me up because everybody around me will just abandon me and I'll be all alone.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (24:48.067)<br>Hmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (24:48.674)<br>And there was no logic to that. And that's not how I consciously felt, right? It was a subconscious, limiting belief that was deep, deep inside of my subconscious mind. And then to answer, well, then what is the potential? What is the possible abilities? What shows up to that? Hell, yes, is when I would connect to that, there would just be, again, this me that is lit, and my field is so big. And just.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (24:57.587)<br>Mm-hmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (25:15.85)<br>by being me, people are inspired and are like filled with joy and are laughing and just like, like so much light, so much love. And when I could feel that and see that it was, it was like, well, I can't not do this. It's like you said, because it's, it's robbing people of experience. It's robbing me of fulfillment. It's robbing me.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (25:26.73)<br>Yeah.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (25:34.784)<br>Mm-hmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (25:43.942)<br>of that joy of that like, yes, I am living what I'm here to live and robbing others. So I just so delighted that you brought that perspective in because I think it's really powerful and I think it really cuts through like a knife to the BS that we tell ourselves.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (26:01.102)<br>Yeah. Truly, I mean, that's what questions, good questions are clarifiers. You know, they're, they're activators of discernment. You know, that's really what good questions are. And when I've had my greatest moments of insight and realization, it's, it's often because I've sat with a big question that's prompted me to get a perspective shift in some way.<br><br>and see the world and see myself or see other people differently. And then once you have that moment of insight or awareness, you can't unhave that moment and you're there and you're in it and you're like, OK, well, blinders off like mask has been removed. Here we are. Here it is. You can be in denial or you can acknowledge that this is here. And how do you want to respond now? And.<br><br>Alara Sage (26:42.023)<br>Darn it.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (26:56.53)<br>As you were sharing that about that light and love, because really it's the ultimate expression I think of all of like self love to let ourselves fully show up with the essence of who we are with the gifts that we've been given when we show up fully from a place of now this is the key from a place of honest expression of being the most honest version of ourselves not for approval, which is so hard, not for validation, which is so hard.<br><br>not for affirmation, all of those things mean a lot more to me than I wish they did. And you mentioned the fear of abandonment. For me, I unpacked, there's a book called immunity to change and a coach walked through this process with me a few years ago after I burned out and got mono. And we identified that for me, the big assumption, the big fear underlying the way that I was showing up was this belief that if I wasn't the best, then I was a nobody. That I have to be the best.<br><br>in order to be somebody.<br><br>Alara Sage (27:57.218)<br>It's like all or nothing. You're just...<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (27:58.398)<br>All or nothing, you either are the best or you totally suck. Like that was, this is my inner narrative. Like if you are not the, at the epitome and the apex of whatever this thing is, in other words, if you don't sing perfectly every time you get a microphone, if you, right, don't win that top award, if you don't do those things, oh, who are you? Like.<br><br>Alara Sage (28:05.506)<br>I'm sorry.<br><br>Alara Sage (28:18.626)<br>Stay in bed.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (28:21.17)<br>you're irrelevant, you're obsolete, you're nobody, and it's like the ultimate expression of nobodies is death, you know, which is like most people's greatest fear. So there's a real visceral feeling to that fear of being nothing or being seen as nothing.<br><br>and<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (28:45.822)<br>I remember a year ago, I was sitting down with a producer, a musician, a composer, and I thought I was gonna record covers with him, because I had a friend who was like, you should do some stuff with music. And we sit down, and the first thing he asks me, he says, what do you want to write your first song about?<br><br>It's like, oh, I don't know how to do that. I don't play any instruments. I don't read music. I loved writing poems when I was younger. Like, you know, I can sing. But then when I thought about it, the song was sort of an answer to the fear. And the song was, I wanted to write a song about being somebody, about reminding people that you are somebody, you matter, you are enough. And to remind them to.<br><br>Release the need to prove you're worthy. What if you believed you are somebody already?<br><br>Because that's the message that I needed to hear my whole life. That I still need to hear. That I think a lot of us still need to hear.<br><br>Alara Sage (29:51.582)<br>Absolutely.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (29:51.678)<br>And the, you know, in the response I've heard from people to that song has just been beyond what I could have imagined to how it's moved. And people have said, no one has ever said that to me. No one has ever told me that I'm somebody who matters. They're like in their mid fifties and breaks my heart.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (30:12.202)<br>You know, and what if I hadn't found the courage? What if I had kept that thing silent because of my own judgment? That person wouldn't have had that opportunity to get that truth.<br><br>Alara Sage (30:27.29)<br>such a, it speaks so clearly to what I teach of, you know, we're all very, very unique and our brilliance, our genius, we're the only ones that can bring that forward. And it's not about being the perfect singer or the perfect whatever, right? We're just using your singing as an example, but it's about the fact that you,<br><br>can do it or say it or show it in a way or whatever it is, your essence is you. And there's only one of you. And we need every single human being on this planet to show up as them, because we're all a puzzle piece of the collective humanity. We're all a puzzle pieces to the consciousness that is on this planet. And so if we're showing up as part of our puzzle piece,<br><br>We don't complete the picture. And it's not about completing anything in that context of now we have a bunch of weight on our shoulders. But in the essence of there's only that one piece. When you're doing a puzzle, there's not multiple pieces that fit in that one spot. There's only that one that has the exact markings on the top, that has the exact shape, that goes in that place. And I think what you just described and expressed is<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (31:27.712)<br>I know what you mean.<br><br>Alara Sage (31:51.266)<br>just such a beautiful example of what it means and what it looks like and how it affects others when we show up in our brilliance and our genius. So I personally applaud you, Rachel, for having your courage to do that. And particularly, like you said, like writing a song when you have no musical background, right, because that's what we think. Well, I have no musical background, et cetera, et cetera. And so yet when we show up and we do it anyways, we change people.<br><br>And it's always the hardest things that are our most brilliant self, right? Like I'm not a singer either. And actually, you know, I don't sing songs. But a couple of years ago, my higher self told me to open my mouth and start making noises out of my mouth. And like you're gonna use your voice to heal. And man, I hit major inadequacy because I'd been told that I couldn't sing. I had been like.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (32:43.286)<br>Mm.<br><br>Alara Sage (32:46.402)<br>told I was tone deaf, all of the things, right? And yet my higher self kept saying, no, you need to do this. No, show up. Show up. So I kept showing up, even though I just honestly was like, this is just absurd. There's no part of me that can do this. I'm a complete failure here. And my voice has changed through that process, radically. Very much so, my voice has changed. But more importantly, it, of course,<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (32:48.254)<br>Mm.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (32:59.382)<br>Mm.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (33:10.946)<br>Wow.<br><br>Alara Sage (33:16.29)<br>touched people and changed lives.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (33:20.654)<br>Yeah, it's a beautiful example of, you know, I think a lot of us have this, and I think it's connected to trusting ourselves too and trusting that voice is that we can push that aside. I mean, I look back, I have this document from sophomore year of high school, we had to make a list of what were called our occupational daydreams. This might be something fun for listeners to do as an experiment for themselves, because it can give you some information about yourself that's...<br><br>that might reveal something to you that would be useful. We had to make a list, it was 15 and a half, or 15 and three quarters, I wrote on the page. I was very exacting, child. And we had to make a list, number one to 10, so you can number a paper one to 10. And then in the very top line you put what was the most recent thing you ever remembered wanting to be from an occupational standpoint. And then you listed all the way down to the first thing you ever remembered wanting to be.<br><br>wanting to be when you grew up, career aspiration. So I look back at this thing, and I had filled in, I think, seven of the 10 blanks. And my top one was psychologist. I ended up setting psychology as an undergrad. But psychologist, nutritionist, doctor, writer, mathematician, because I liked math when I was 10. I don't see that in my career path now other than I run my own business and have to know numbers for that. But.<br><br>But the very first thing, I'd forgotten I did this. And sometimes we had these parts of ourselves that like had this wisdom at one point in our life that we just, again, shelved. And the very first thing I ever wanted to be that I wrote down on this paper when I grew up was a singer.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (35:02.614)<br>But when I did this, I went to an all-girls high school, we had this incredible choir, but you had to audition to get in. And I could think of nothing more terrifying than basically have myself open to judgment and critique from one other person by opening my mouth and singing. So instead of even attempting that, I sat in the audience for four years for every single one of their concerts, wishing I was up there with them.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (35:32.13)<br>Fast forward 20 years. My first song comes out and I'm reconnected to my high school and they're having a wellness day for the students, 700 students and faculty and staff. And I said, well, they wanted me to speak at it. And I said, well, I just had this song come out. Would you want me to like sing the song? So go back to my high school where I would not sing publicly as a high school student.<br><br>20 years after graduating, stand on that stage, in front of a room full of hundreds of young women whose seats I sat in for four years, with some of the same teachers that I had when I was there that are still there. And I got on stage and I sang my song.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (36:31.126)<br>And I for sure did not hit every note, but I thought back to what my 18 year old self would have thought about who she's let herself become.<br><br>And I thought, wow, what a gift you just gave her. You let her live out this dream that she had that she wouldn't let herself have.<br><br>And we, I think sometimes we think it's too late to do a thing.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (37:04.618)<br>but we're limited to the extent that we limit ourselves.<br><br>And I look at that experience and I think, oh, all of that had to happen the way that it did. So that this moment could happen the way that it did.<br><br>and I wouldn't change any of it.<br><br>Alara Sage (37:25.89)<br>I loved how you brought that back to sitting in the audience as the high schooler, feeling you wish you had. There's that regret again. But then you were able to grant yourself permission to, I don't know if I would call it rectify the regret, but come back around and say, yes, I can. And let me.<br><br>bring this back around for myself. And it feels energetically to me like, yeah, it's a healing of that regret, a healing of that I wish I was, right? And I really feel that gift to yourself, to that, whatever you were, 16, 17 year old girl, right? Because all of those versions of us exist, everything is simultaneous. So.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (38:02.402)<br>Mm-hmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (38:18.826)<br>That version of you still exists. And so when we do these things, I'm literally getting the image of like gifting, like literally giving her the gift of, yes, but see who you are, my love. This is who you are. And allowing her to see that version of you. Did you, did you see, you said you saw the girls sitting in the chairs. Did you kind of like see yourself there watching yourself?<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (38:44.398)<br>I think I was too caught up in the moment, blinded by the lights. I'm staring at these lights and under this thing. And I'm like, you have this moment of like, you might have got up here and rehearsed this to an empty room five times, but this is very different. And then it's like you're in that moment of doing the thing. And I think also just reminding ourselves that other people are rooting for us. I think when we try something and we're afraid we're going to mess it up.<br><br>Alara Sage (38:46.05)<br>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (39:15.022)<br>I think part of us thinks that everyone else around us is just like the committee in our head that's telling us we suck and that everyone is ready to like throw their tomatoes at us, which is not how it is. Like in most cases, if someone's stepping into a place of courage, the people around them, whether they know that person or not, are typically rooting.<br><br>for the person that's doing the courageous thing. Like they don't want to see that person fall flat on their face. And if they do, they're there to like, to sort of like walk them to the finish line and be with them on their side. And I felt that, cause I teed up the story talking to these girls. And I said, when I was here, I didn't do this. And I just released this song in January and I heard these little whispers. Is she gonna sing? Do you think she's gonna sing? And I could hear them sing.<br><br>Alara Sage (39:54.21)<br>Thanks for watching!<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (40:08.298)<br>And I said, and now I'm going to get on the stage and do the thing I wish I had done when I was sitting in your seats. And then they all started clapping and cheering. And it was just this moment where I was still so nervous, like I'm not even going to pretend I wasn't. I was still so nervous. And yet I felt held.<br><br>Alara Sage (40:08.438)<br>Hmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (40:12.098)<br>Mmm.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (40:24.226)<br>by this whole room. And being held, feeling held and supported and shared for and rooted for by other people also gives us courage to do the things we're afraid to do. We just have to invite them into it.<br><br>Alara Sage (40:41.778)<br>Absolutely, I agree with you that most people are being supportive because we want to support, it's a part of ourselves, right? We're supporting ourselves through each other.<br><br>Alara Sage (40:55.578)<br>Yes, I feel like I'm seeing this image of you singing and then, you know, looking at the state or the audience and there's that little girl of you. I feel like that it's like a movie that should be made, you know, because in a movie, that's what would happen, right? You would in the midst of all of that's going on and your anxiety and the lights that are blinding you, as you said, and everything, you would have the moment to stare into the audience and see that little girl looking back at you, right?<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (41:04.674)<br>I love it. I could have pictured it.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (41:21.718)<br>I wouldn't have made it through the song, Allara. I would not have made it through a line of the song if I was able to connect with her, because I would have been a puddle on the stage. I would not, I just, because I know what she felt like. And I can imagine it now, as you're even describing it, I can bring myself back to March and being in that space and think about like, goodness, like, if you make, I guess the question that's coming up for me right in this moment is, if I make the decision to step into this with courage.<br><br>Alara Sage (41:31.272)<br>Mmm, yeah.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (41:51.718)<br>what would my future self look back on this decision and be proud of about how I showed up?<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (42:03.722)<br>Or what would a past, what would a younger version of myself, how would that younger version of myself look at this decision that I'm making and the way that I'm showing up and say.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (42:16.338)<br>You know, like, I think that can be another indicator, another kind of guide for us in making some of these decisions is to think about, you know, what do we want a future self or younger version of ourselves to be proud of? What's a decision we could make that would make that version of ourselves proud?<br><br>Alara Sage (42:35.198)<br>And it's true because there's been so many times in my life where I've made very courageous decisions and regardless of the outcome later on, my higher self always brings me back around and shows me all the intricacies and beautiful, magical, divine orchestration that is life. I mean, it is incredible the multiple layers of consciousness that are occurring in one moment, you know, and I'll be shown all of this.<br><br>And then I'll see this version of myself that chose to be courageous, you know? And yeah, maybe, you know, I fell flat on my face and picked myself up and, you know, but it doesn't matter. Like I'm not looking at like exactly what happened. I'm looking at her and just being like, yes, you did that. And look at where we are now because of that choice that you said yes to, you know? So we don't even remember or...<br><br>care about the messiness because that's not the point. It's that we made that decision and we took that action. And again, that's what fuels us. That's what lights us up. That's what makes us feel alive. So absolutely, I've experienced exactly what you're saying, looking back and being like, yay, me. That's one of my favorite statements. Yay, me.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (43:34.06)<br>Yeah.<br><br>point.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (43:48.941)<br>Yeah.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (43:55.502)<br>I'm sorry.<br><br>Alara Sage (44:01.15)<br>And it's good to celebrate. It's important to celebrate ourselves. Absolutely to celebrate our courage. Because when we do that, we gift ourselves the permission to be courageous once again.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (44:01.759)<br>Yeah, it is.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (44:11.85)<br>Yeah, I agree. And even having a little version of yourself, like a picture of a younger version of yourself, I think can be really powerful. Like even I'll sometimes do that. I'll put it like on my keyboard. So if I'm singing, I have someone to sing to. And I find that can be really powerful. I'm like, I had this picture of myself and I don't know where she walked off to, but it was, oh, here it is. This is a, this is, I don't know. I must've been maybe two or three.<br><br>Alara Sage (44:17.866)<br>Mmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (44:25.834)<br>Hmm<br><br>Alara Sage (44:28.93)<br>That's too.<br><br>Alara Sage (44:39.818)<br>Hmm.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (44:41.102)<br>It's a little picture of me sitting in a field of, I don't know, dandelions, probably. But she didn't know what she wasn't capable of yet.<br><br>And she didn't know what she was capable of yet of either. She didn't know who she was supposed to be yet. She just existed without judgment, because she was two, you know? And it's like, how can I connect to that version of myself? You know, and so I...<br><br>Alara Sage (45:11.67)<br>That's a really delicious practice to have the picture. I like that.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (45:14.75)<br>Yeah, and I think anyone could do that, you know, and it's just a helpful, I think, just a sort of reflection point and sort of a, you know, having that symbol of yourself to look back on, I think can be really so just imagining it like a literally look at yourself, you know, what do you want to say to her or him or that, you know, what do you want to say? So.<br><br>Alara Sage (45:16.842)<br>Mm-hmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (45:38.27)<br>And you could also have that version of you, like the age range where you sat in the audience, right, and didn't sing and sing to her, right? Like, I'm doing this for you. I'm not robbing you of this. Yeah.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (45:45.278)<br>Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. Like we're going to go after it, you know, and I still think about when I'm like holding myself back, I'm like, you know, how you saying in the corner of the room, by yourself with your headphones on with the volume blast all the way up and no one could hear you. Where is that version of you? She is in there. Let her out. Yeah.<br><br>Alara Sage (46:05.122)<br>I'm going to go ahead and get<br><br>Alara Sage (46:09.93)<br>I used to do that too. I didn't care that I couldn't sing, didn't matter. So Rachel, how can people find you? What is the best way for them to reach out to you? Do you have any freebies or anything that you want to draw their awareness to?<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (46:14.826)<br>Yeah.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (46:26.858)<br>Well, they can find me on wherever they listen to music. They can search Rachel Druckenmiller. So my I've got two songs out now. I have three, possibly four out by the end of 2023. So that's a great place to go. I hope I hope those are all gifts to anyone who hears them. One's called Somebody, the other's called Didn't See It Coming, which is a song I wrote after I was in a car accident in the spring of 2020. Was out running with my husband and.<br><br>Alara Sage (46:37.126)<br>Okay.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (46:56.482)<br>got hit by a pickup truck and fractured my back. And I think all of us have had those blindside moments. And I wanted to write a song for anyone that's been there that needs to be reminded to rise up. So where we stream music, on my website, which is currently getting an update. So racheldruckenmiller.com is the best place to go, D-R-U-C-K. And then on Instagram, at Unmuted Life.<br><br>UNMUTD and then I'm also on YouTube as well. Those are like the main places and LinkedIn where we connected. So those are the primary places. And I will say, too, if you'd like me to, I can I can leave the audience with a little bit of a song that I feel like a line, a couple lines from a song that captures the essence of some of what we've both been talking about today. So I'll take your lead on that if you'd like me to do that as a gift.<br><br>Alara Sage (47:43.53)<br>Hmm. Yeah, I want to come back to that in just a moment. Yes. So we're going to go into the activation right now. And so I always say for the listeners that just remember that there is nothing that you need to feel during any of this, nothing that you need to experience. Whatever you experience is perfect to you.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (47:50.07)<br>Sure. Yeah.<br><br>Alara Sage (48:09.074)<br>And also if you're driving a car, obviously keep your eyes open. You can always come back to it and close your eyes if you want to. Otherwise, if you're not driving a car, you can go ahead and close your eyes. We're just gonna bring our awareness to our body, to our being. And we're gonna take three nice, deep cleansing breaths. We do that in through the nose, out through the mouth.<br><br>in through the nose.<br><br>out through the mouth.<br><br>one more time.<br><br>Alara Sage (48:48.79)<br>Ah, yeah, I really feel as your body just kind of starts to relax and let go. Those breaths are so powerful to just give ourselves permission to let go. And bringing your awareness into your pelvis and just feel whatever you're sitting on right now. Feeling your seat, feeling the chair, and just allowing yourself to feel and experience the gravitational.<br><br>That subtle pull of your body down towards the earth, down towards Gaia. And you're just going to breathe into that. Just kind of let yourself sink. Let yourself relax into that gravitational pull. As we start to ask the body to release any tension,<br><br>As you're breathing down into that pelvis, each exhalation, you're gonna release any tension that you're holding in your bodies. Sometimes it's really powerful to sigh, to make audible expression. Telling your mind to let go, telling your mind to let go through your audible sighs.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (50:03.697)<br>Hmm.<br><br>Alara Sage (50:10.13)<br>Remember, unmute yourself now, my love. Unmute yourself. What would happen right now if you were audible? What would happen right now if you just let yourself? Ah, be audible with your voice. Yes, perfect. Mm, and how does it feel to your body? Ah, when you just let yourself make noise. When you let yourself express, such a simple expression,<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (50:21.388)<br>Ah...<br><br>Alara Sage (50:39.538)<br>and yet so profound to your body in this moment. Ah.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (50:47.991)<br>you<br><br>Alara Sage (50:49.442)<br>Yes, yes, yes. And we're coming here now in this space of, what is your highest potential? And what are you robbing other people of by not stepping into that? So as you're breathing into your body, we're calling these questions into your space.<br><br>What is this next potential for you? What is your next challenge? Where is in your life a place that you are holding yourself back? A place that you are muting yourself, allowing this information to come into your space. It might be a vision, it might be a sound words, it might just be simply a knowing that you just know right away an aspect of your life that you are holding yourself back and just breathing here into your body, allowing it to be<br><br>Be in your space. You are safe, my love. You are safe to feel it in your body. You are safe right here, right now, for this to be in your space, to see where you're holding yourself back. We support you. We love you. You are fully accepted, fully accepted, regardless. Fully accepted here now. Fully accepted as a version of you that holds yourself back. Fully accepted as a version of you that courageously takes action. Fully accepted, regardless. Always and forever valued and seen.<br><br>and just breathe into your body. Yes, yes, yes. I'm going to bring in some sound, as I want you to really hold that question of where you're holding yourself back. And if you're getting the answer, really allow yourself to be in that energy as I bring in some sound. Breathe into your body.<br><br>you<br><br>Alara Sage (53:05.014)<br>Deep breath. All the way down to your wombs, my love. All the way down to your pelvis. Let it out. And now we're bringing in this question. What are you robbing others of? What shows up when you step into this version of you? When you unmute yourself, how do others experience you? What gift do they receive?<br><br>through that version of yourself. Again, allowing as the questions energetically come into your space, allowing the information to arise, however that is for you. Breathing into your body and just simply allowing the answers to come forth, allowing yourself to feel it, allowing yourself to see it, to hear it, to know it, how you are robbing others, what gifts you are here to bring.<br><br>Bring to others what this version of yourself can inspire and activate in others. Breathing into your body, I'm gonna bring in some more sound, activating with the sound, activating these energies within your body. I want you to really powerfully breathe all the way to your pelvis. As we bring in this activation, calling in these light codes now.<br><br>Alara Sage (55:22.818)<br>Take a deep breath.<br><br>Alara Sage (55:32.062)<br>yourself, unmuting yourself, letting yourself courageously, courageously and profoundly step into this version of you, letting yourself release that which holds you back, realizing in this moment, realizing the gifts, my love, that you bring into this world, realizing how much you are needed, how much we need you and your brilliance, you and your unique.<br><br>genius. One more. Oh, nice deep breath into the body saying yes to yourself saying yes to this version of you saying yes. Yes here now.<br><br>Alara Sage (56:17.822)<br>And so it is, and so it is, and so it is, by the perfection of three, the divine trinity, it is complete. Ah.<br><br>Alara Sage (56:30.103)<br>Ah, go ahead and opening your eyes.<br><br>Alara Sage (56:36.712)<br>space. Whoo!<br><br>Alara Sage (56:42.238)<br>Yay. Rachel, thank you so much for being here. And I actually want to bring in your song after this just really quickly. And I'm going to bring it into the Facebook group, the Ecstatic Woman podcast Facebook group, because I'm bringing little extra tidbits from the guests into that group.<br><br>So the listeners can go into the group and experience this song or this portion of your song that I desperately desire to hear. And I have no doubt will bring goosebumps to their being. So thank you so much, Rachel, for being here today.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (57:17.544)<br>Mm-hmm.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (57:23.874)<br>Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.<br><br>Alara Sage (57:27.134)<br>And listeners, absolutely share this episode to whoever you think might be holding themselves back. Pretty much everybody, right? Muting themselves. And you think might be inspired and activated by today's episode, be sure to subscribe. And again, if you're not a part of the community, please join the community so that you can connect more intimately to the guests directly there. Until next time, I love you all so very much.<br><br>Alara Sage (57:58.682)<br>Yay. So I actually had left you, let me stop this. I had left you a voicemail on LinkedIn. I don't know if you got that. OK.<br><br>Rachel Druckenmiller (58:07.754)<br>I must not have. Yeah, I do.<br><br><br></p>
