Episode Transcript
<p><!--block-->Alara Sage (00:04.93)<br>Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Ecstatic Woman podcast where we inspire and activate women in their power and their authenticity and in their bliss. I'm your host, Alara Sage, the Ecstatic Life Mentor. I am the founder and CEO of Creator Consciousness, which is a Trinity teaching of embodiment manifestation.<br><br>and creative genius here to teach you how to masterfully create your reality. So today I'm here to talk about one of the three things that this podcast is really intentionally here for which is authenticity.<br><br>Alara Sage (00:53.054)<br>In these episode, I'm always sharing with you really my experience, my journey, in hopes that it helps you to connect to yourself and your own journey.<br><br>Alara Sage (01:07.902)<br>on the topic of authenticity. After I had my spontaneous Kundalini awakening and really began the journey of self-realization.<br><br>Alara Sage (01:23.826)<br>One of the most profound questions I began asking myself and the universe was, who am I?<br><br>Alara Sage (01:38.462)<br>Sometimes I would ask this question in the piece of my meditation.<br><br>asking the question as I sink into my body, feeling the different bodies of my being, feeling the different vibrations of myself.<br><br>connecting to my heart, connecting to oneness, connecting to love.<br><br>Alara Sage (02:09.662)<br>Other times, I would ask this question amongst a waterfall of tears.<br><br>Alara Sage (02:21.162)<br>collapsed on the ground, crying.<br><br>feeling perhaps very lost, very confused.<br><br>yelling screaming begging who am I<br><br>Alara Sage (02:49.758)<br>Seems like an obvious question with a very obvious answer.<br><br>Alara Sage (02:58.818)<br>But it's not.<br><br>It wasn't to me anyways.<br><br>wasn't to me because, in all honesty, I had lost a part of myself. I had forgotten a part of myself. I had rejected and abandoned a part of myself.<br><br>Alara Sage (03:23.242)<br>and I was seeking her.<br><br>Alara Sage (03:30.078)<br>She was my authenticity. She is my authenticity.<br><br>Alara Sage (03:40.854)<br>I think it's rare in our society right now for people to really hold on to their true self throughout their life. And honestly, I've learned that it's not always what we're meant to do.<br><br>Alara Sage (03:58.386)<br>I find and I believe that the greatest journey is to lose yourself and to find yourself again.<br><br>Alara Sage (04:12.994)<br>What's the journey?<br><br>Alara Sage (04:18.038)<br>what it feels like to not be your authentic self, what it feels like to put on the masks, to don the masks that society desires of you, to don the masks that perhaps your parents, your school, your friends, whomever that you've gifted your power to, your partners, your relationships.<br><br>gifted your power to, to dictate who you should be.<br><br>to go down that journey is spectacular.<br><br>Alara Sage (04:59.062)<br>Because it never feels right. It never feels like home.<br><br>Alara Sage (05:12.374)<br>For many years I lived abroad and traveled and I taught scuba diving.<br><br>Alara Sage (05:21.359)<br>And one time I arrived in Honduras.<br><br>And I went to Roatan, which is an island. So I flew into Tugulsa Galpa. I'm not saying that quite right. The main capital of Honduras. And then immediately flew out to the island. And you check your bags all the way through. Well, I got to the island, and my bags didn't arrive.<br><br>Alara Sage (05:55.49)<br>To the tourist who is on vacation, yeah, not having your bags is stressful and difficult. But those bags were my life. Everything I had and owned was in those bags.<br><br>So they didn't arrive and I went to get help and hey, guess what, this is a known thing. Like bags just don't arrive. Oh, they'll be on the next plane. Like this is what happens. This is what we do. The airline told me this is what they do. Oh, okay. So I waited bags didn't arrive, bags didn't arrive, bags didn't arrive. They didn't care. Nobody cared.<br><br>Alara Sage (06:41.867)<br>My bags were stolen.<br><br>Alara Sage (06:46.546)<br>Several days later, after sitting in a dive shop, I found a guidebook that specifically says, do not check your bags in all the way. Check them in yourself. Make sure they arrive at each destination. Well, I hadn't read that.<br><br>Alara Sage (07:06.214)<br>I was reimbursed, you know, something like $3,000 for something that was like $10,000, but the price doesn't even matter, does it? It's your stuff.<br><br>The point to the story is in the midst of trying to get my things back. I had a beautiful woman at the dive shop give me her clothes. I had nothing. I had the clothes I had arrived on with.<br><br>Alara Sage (07:39.534)<br>and I found myself wearing somebody else's clothes.<br><br>which really isn't that big of a deal. Or is it?<br><br>All of a sudden, I didn't feel like myself. I didn't feel like me at all. I didn't have any of the things that were mine. I was wearing somebody else's clothes. It was very surreal.<br><br>Alara Sage (08:06.678)<br>And it made me realize how much our clothes are our personality, right? Like they don't identify us. They don't define us, but we express ourselves through our clothing. And so when you're wearing somebody else's clothes, the things that you just wouldn't ever buy for yourself, not good or bad, right or wrong. They weren't bad clothes. They just weren't things that I would buy for myself. All of a sudden you feel very strange.<br><br>Alara Sage (08:36.118)<br>Eventually I did get to go buy some clothes that were me.<br><br>Alara Sage (08:41.962)<br>And the story goes on. But it was a great peek behind the door of what we do to ourselves throughout our whole life.<br><br>of choosing to don what society wants us to wear, what school wants us to wear.<br><br>Alara Sage (09:08.726)<br>our parents, our friends, whoever it is. That again, we gift our power to, because it's our choice. We're not victims.<br><br>Oftentimes we're not even aware that we're doing it.<br><br>Alara Sage (09:24.839)<br>And it happens very slowly.<br><br>Alara Sage (09:29.838)<br>before you know it, you know, you're in your 20s, you're in your 30s and you don't really know who you are.<br><br>Alara Sage (09:42.754)<br>So now you see yourself wearing these clothes, right? Like I did that day when I was wearing these clothes and just felt.<br><br>So not me.<br><br>Alara Sage (09:57.154)<br>You begin to ask yourself, well, if I'm not this, if this doesn't feel like home, if this doesn't feel like who I am, then who am I?<br><br>Alara Sage (10:13.33)<br>If you're at that point where you've ever gotten to that point, well, then I welcome you from my heart. Welcome. Welcome to the beginning. Yay, the beginning of self-realization, the beginning of the realization. My love of you. Of your true self of your authentic self. Before the programming before the socializing before before.<br><br>Alara Sage (10:41.998)<br>Who is that woman? Who is that girl?<br><br>Alara Sage (10:52.194)<br>These things begin very, very young. When I'm working with clients, the energy automatically goes back to from about three to six years of age. In those years, we are like sponges. We are just taking on our environment. And our instincts are to match, to fit in, to match what's around us so that we're received and accepted.<br><br>It's not the fault of anybody. This isn't like to blame and to point fingers. This is just part of what has happened in humanity and our lack of awareness of our individuated selves. So we try to blend in. And between those ages, we lose so much of our own unique voice and expression. So, so much of my work.<br><br>is taking clients back to those times and reconnecting them to themselves. And that's what I've done for myself as well.<br><br>Alara Sage (11:59.615)<br>and it's been a journey.<br><br>Alara Sage (12:06.582)<br>when we're not our authentic self.<br><br>Alara Sage (12:11.414)<br>We don't feel at home.<br><br>Alara Sage (12:15.818)<br>And that's a particular feeling home.<br><br>Alara Sage (12:23.71)<br>When I had the first feeling of home in myself, it was just that word. It was like, Oh, my gosh, this is me. It just feels so right.<br><br>And then from there, I met my partner and he felt like home. And then I met my dog and she felt like home. And all of a sudden things were beginning to line up in the vibration of home because I had found that in myself.<br><br>Alara Sage (12:58.37)<br>kind of like that feeling of going away for a while and literally coming back to your physical home. And if you enjoy your home, it feels really good. You're like, my bed, my space, it feels like you, right? It's familiar, but it's not just familiar. There's something else there. It's you. It feels right. It feels in alignment.<br><br>Another interesting story.<br><br>Recently, I went to Mount Shasta to write my manuscript. I went for a whole month. And whenever you go on these journeys, these voyages, there's always so many layers of self-discovery. Mount Shasta is a vortex, so there's a lot of really powerful energy there. And I absolutely went through another layer and another dissolving of the false self so much that when I got home.<br><br>It didn't feel like home. Isn't that interesting? I had the reflection of still parts of me that I was like, hey, that's no longer in alignment. It was beautiful. Because here I am telling you about this sensation of home is like coming back to your physical home. And I literally just had the opposite experience. So I kind of throw that in there as a little twist. Because a part of me had died.<br><br>part of my identity had died and so when I came home from Mount Shasta that part of my identity was like staring me in the face and I was like wow who is that? I don't even resonate with her anymore. Great yay now I can just clear that out of my space clear that out of my house out of my life because of course what did I feel more of in my body in my being I felt of course more at<br><br>Alara Sage (15:01.122)<br>So I hope that wasn't confusing.<br><br>But usually the feeling of coming home to ourselves is that feeling of coming home after a trip. Perhaps after staying at somebody else's house, you know, you're in their space and you come home and you're like, this is my space. That's what it feels like.<br><br>Alara Sage (15:24.806)<br>And as we come home to ourselves.<br><br>Our genius wakes up. It's like she's been laying there waiting. When is she going to come home? I'm waiting for her to come home so that I can show her own brilliance. That's what your genius wants to do for you.<br><br>Alara Sage (15:55.306)<br>And then you start creating from that sense of self, from that authenticity.<br><br>Here's the thing about authenticity and vulnerability. In our society, everybody thinks that vulnerability is like this exposure.<br><br>right, that you're talking about yourself or you're exposing yourself. The truth is, vulnerability comes from authenticity. True vulnerability comes from authenticity. When you connect to your authentic self, you're naturally vulnerable. You're organically vulnerable. Vulnerability isn't another thing for us to practice, to do. You can, but it's always gonna feel<br><br>quite there, it is going to feel exposing. It is going to feel a little uncomfortable. Because in all honesty, you don't really know who you are. So what are you expressing? What are you exposing to the world?<br><br>Alara Sage (17:04.514)<br>However, when you realize yourself and you have that feeling of coming home.<br><br>There is such a desire.<br><br>express from that place?<br><br>Alara Sage (17:27.862)<br>It's like you wanna show everybody your book. Here, look, this is me.<br><br>Alara Sage (17:35.423)<br>Isn't she beautiful?<br><br>Alara Sage (17:47.31)<br>Authenticity just naturally creates vulnerability. It's just The vibration of truth<br><br>Alara Sage (17:58.707)<br>It is felt.<br><br>Alara Sage (18:08.918)<br>Now that I know more of myself, I can sense it in other people. Can sense when they are hitting the nail on the head as far as who they truly are and when they are still subscribing to programs and.<br><br>Alara Sage (18:29.074)<br>identities that really don't resonate with him.<br><br>Alara Sage (18:42.45)<br>going back to when I hadn't realized myself.<br><br>This feeling of...<br><br>Alara Sage (18:54.778)<br>Oh, he's just not feeling at home.<br><br>Alara Sage (19:01.982)<br>I didn't feel at home at home. I mean, that was the place I felt most at home, was at home. But.<br><br>The location I lived in was never right. The people were never quite right, even though I have amazing friends throughout my entire life. It was kind of one of those things where it's like, something just isn't quite right. And that something was me, right? It was never about the location, it was never about the people, it was never about any of it. It was me.<br><br>Alara Sage (19:35.19)<br>there was.<br><br>in a feeling like awkwardness and...<br><br>even<br><br>Alara Sage (19:51.318)<br>the inquiry of, OK, what do I need to do or say or like, who do I need to be in this moment? Right? It wasn't always a conscious thought. It was more of like a feeling in the body, where I'd be with a group of people. And it was kind of like, OK, how do I morph into something that blends? How do I just?<br><br>camouflage into all of them.<br><br>Alara Sage (20:27.474)<br>Isn't that interesting?<br><br>That hits me really quite viscerally in my body, as I say that, to just remember how I wanted to just blend in.<br><br>Alara Sage (20:47.034)<br>knowing myself now that's so ironic because I've never been one to follow a crowd. I've never been one to fit in. So it was kind of like this push-pull of like me who doesn't like have a desire to fit in and has always been a trailblazer and I'm going to do it my own way. And that version of me and then this version that was like<br><br>but I don't know really who I am. So like, if I just try to like blend with them, maybe I will find myself.<br><br>Maybe I'll find myself in somebody else.<br><br>Alara Sage (21:29.462)<br>Of course, that never works. And then after my spiritual awakening, it was a lot about...<br><br>looking towards mentors, like, wow. You know, I trust you. You know, you're obviously a wonderful person. Can you tell me who I am?<br><br>Alara Sage (21:56.47)<br>I did that time and time again. Can you tell me who I am?<br><br>Alara Sage (22:02.094)<br>Tell me who I am. Just tell me who I am. Just do it. Just tell me. So I'll sit here and I'll make notes and I will be sure to be that.<br><br>Alara Sage (22:25.246)<br>Again, another beautiful part of the journey.<br><br>Alara Sage (22:32.615)<br>It came from desperation.<br><br>Alara Sage (22:37.802)<br>When I had my spiritual awakening, there was an absolute click on of, wow, me. When I had my spontaneous Kundalini awakening, which I explained in the episode from numb to ecstatic, I felt myself. So then it was like, how do I get back to that?<br><br>Alara Sage (23:02.742)<br>It was a really strong yearning. I really desperately desired it to the point that I would, you know, pay somebody to tell me who I was.<br><br>Of course that never worked.<br><br>but boy if I didn't learn a lot.<br><br>Alara Sage (23:23.338)<br>Truth is, people can only see you from their lens.<br><br>They will always see you through themselves.<br><br>That's not right or wrong. That's not good or bad. It just is.<br><br>To truly see ourselves, we have to look through our own lens.<br><br>We have to awaken to the truth of who we are.<br><br>Alara Sage (24:04.386)<br>So it's not to say that those mentors didn't tell me who I was. They just told me who I was to them.<br><br>Alara Sage (24:13.054)<br>Some of them, it just didn't resonate at all what they would tell me. Some of them, it was like, oh, that's really close.<br><br>Alara Sage (24:24.086)<br>And all the while I was still asking myself, I was still doing the work, because this is all about all of you. It's not just about the one part or the aspect or.<br><br>how somebody sees you, right? It's all that you are. And that takes the work, that takes the self-awareness. It takes the willingness to see both your gifts and your light as well as your shadow. And that's truly where the work is. And I was doing all of that this whole time that I was also seeking through other people.<br><br>and they wouldn't trade it for anything.<br><br>Alara Sage (25:15.342)<br>Because that's what I learned. I learned that they could only see me how they saw me. And it did help me. It did help me. It helped me along the journey. Oftentimes, it validated the things that I was already feeling in myself and connecting to in myself and gave me permission.<br><br>to yes, anchor into that. Yes, yes, that is the breadcrumb.<br><br>Alara Sage (25:44.55)<br>until more and more feeling that home, that clarity of home. Because it crystallizes, it clarifies, it brightens and illuminates as we begin to see it more and more and come back to it.<br><br>Alara Sage (26:05.058)<br>The feelings of unfulfillment, the feelings of rejection, of abandonment, the fear of abandonment, the fear of rejection, the fear of not fitting in, the yearning for something. These are all symptoms.<br><br>of not being connected to your authentic self.<br><br>Alara Sage (26:33.942)<br>lack of intimacy.<br><br>because there is no intimacy with others without intimacy of the self first and foremost.<br><br>Alara Sage (26:50.326)<br>A lack of connection, a lack of feeling connection, right? Like that deep feeling of secure attachment. If you know the attachment types, right? Secure attachment means that you are in your power and in your truth and aware of your individuation as well as the ability to deeply connect with another. Well.<br><br>Bring that to yourself, secure attachment to yourself. The ability to connect deeply with the wholeness of you and also to see yourself transparently, right? To see yourself.<br><br>Alara Sage (27:37.599)<br>objectively.<br><br>Alara Sage (27:41.57)<br>From love, from compassion, a secure attachment of the self, and yet experience yourself so deeply through all of the senses.<br><br>Alara Sage (27:56.914)<br>and also to know.<br><br>that you'll always be there. You'll always be there, you will always be there. I think that's the most beautiful part of connecting to your authentic self is.<br><br>really believing.<br><br>Alara Sage (28:20.346)<br>that you will never leave yourself again.<br><br>Really believing that you have your own back. Really believing and trusting in yourself.<br><br>Alara Sage (28:34.345)<br>Such a gift.<br><br>Alara Sage (28:41.887)<br>Because as I said, to forget to abandon yourself.<br><br>What happens is that when you find yourself.<br><br>Alara Sage (29:02.322)<br>It's like opening all of the shutters in a house and letting all the light in.<br><br>Alara Sage (29:10.942)<br>illumination. And while it is always a process, you know, alignment, staying true is always a process. It's a process of falling out of alignment, coming back into alignment, falling out of alignment, coming back into alignment. Because you clarify what it feels like.<br><br>And you clarify and understand more powerfully what actions lead to what. And it's the same with rejecting, abandoning yourself. What actions led to that and what actions, what truth, what intuition, what wisdom, all of this maintains that connection with yourself.<br><br>That is priceless, my love. Absolutely priceless.<br><br>Alara Sage (30:12.27)<br>Through my process, one of the strongest things I learned of how I abandoned myself was through lack of boundaries.<br><br>Alara Sage (30:24.042)<br>Oftentimes I find in the spiritual community boundaries are this conceptual understanding and these conceptual like lines.<br><br>Alara Sage (30:35.522)<br>To me, boundaries are self-love. They are self-integrity, and they are dynamic. Boundaries are not a list of what you do and do not allow because that list is not intelligent. You are highly intelligent and extremely dynamic.<br><br>And so boundaries, instead of being, I will not allow or I will allow, needs to be in the moment, in the body. Boundaries need to be a question, is this loving to myself?<br><br>Alara Sage (31:14.048)<br>Yes or no?<br><br>If it's a yes, then that is an alignment with you. And if it's a no, then that is not alignment with you. And that's where you have to choose and take action upon that no.<br><br>Alara Sage (31:30.762)<br>And that can change. That can change per person. That can change per situation. That can change as you evolve so rapidly. One day, what was maybe a no is now a yes or vice versa. So if you make it conceptual, it's not really a boundary. It's protection, which is exclusion, which is separation. Boundary is inclusion, self-love.<br><br>is inclusion, it's expansion. Again, it's highly intelligent.<br><br>Alara Sage (32:08.386)<br>So as I went through this process, I realized how many times I had a no in my body and I said yes, or I had a yes in my body and I said no, because that's just as powerful. The things that light us up, the things that turn our passion on.<br><br>Yes, yes, yes. And we say, no, no. Or just as much of a rejection of self than it is when it's a clear no and we say yes anyways to people please, to make other people comfortable, to blend in, right, to camouflage, to whatever. The list of reasons why we go against ourselves.<br><br>Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that we don't feel safe. We don't feel safe in who we are. We don't feel safe to own this is a no or to own that this is a yes. And so your authentic self, my love.<br><br>is found, is realized, is remembered.<br><br>through the clarity of your yes and your no. There are no maybes. There are no kind of sortives.<br><br>Alara Sage (33:36.226)<br>Sometimes the answer isn't clear yet, but there's no maybe, because a maybe is where you're really just denying one or the other. So for instance, if it's a yes and you're really uncomfortable, actually boldly stepping into that yes, you'll give yourself a maybe, because you really wanna go towards the no.<br><br>And vice versa, if it's a no, but oh my gosh, that's going to disrupt. Somebody's not going to like that if I say no. So is it a maybe? I kind of feel like it's a maybe. Maybe that works for me. It's just where we're going against the grain. And so we create the maybe.<br><br>Alara Sage (34:21.182)<br>Maybe's are different than it's not clear yet. Because we can do that. We can stay in a space and continue to inquire as the energy clarifies and we get our yes or no. But that's not a maybe. That's more of an unclear not yet, not sure yet, yet.<br><br>Alara Sage (34:44.27)<br>If you find yourself in a, hmm, kind of feels like it could be either one, there's a maybe there, I invite you to re-ask with complete honesty to yourself. Most likely you're denying one or the other. Trust me, I've done it a million times.<br><br>Alara Sage (35:03.542)<br>That's how I went so far off the train of self.<br><br>Alara Sage (35:14.21)<br>people pleasing.<br><br>Trying to make other people feel comfortable, make other people feel safe around me, and then ironically enough.<br><br>I didn't feel safe in myself.<br><br>Alara Sage (35:31.566)<br>So when we clarify our boundaries, we clarify who we innately are, our authentic self.<br><br>And as we do that, it feels like coming home. And as it feels like coming home, we open up and become more vulnerable and we share that version of ourself with the world. It doesn't mean we tell everybody every single moment of our day. It's not what vulnerability is about. Vulnerability is the willingness to be seen. And when you find yourself, oh my gosh, it's like you want nothing else than to show the world.<br><br>who she is.<br><br>Because you'll see her. You'll see her brilliance. You'll see her humor. You'll see her tenderness and her innocence. You'll see her love.<br><br>You'll see her power.<br><br>Alara Sage (36:34.986)<br>She'll blow your socks off on how beautiful she is. So vulnerability will come, my love, naturally and organically.<br><br>Alara Sage (36:54.73)<br>And if you're not there yet, focus on your boundaries.<br><br>Alara Sage (37:02.594)<br>Definitely what I do with my clients, so I'm happy to assist you. I won't tell you who you are. I will guide you back to yourself. I will help you to realize who she is for you. I will help you to see her. I will help you to connect to her through you, not through my lens.<br><br>Alara Sage (37:32.066)<br>I want you to find her. The world needs her.<br><br>Alara Sage (37:43.962)<br>As always, thank you so much for joining me here today.<br><br>Alara Sage (37:50.386)<br>Every Tuesday is a solo episode like this one, and every Thursday is a guest appearance. Two episodes a week. Yum. Please share this podcast with your friends, with your family, with anybody that you think would benefit from it. I show up here to share, and the ripple effect is very beneficial when it is shared beyond.<br><br>Be sure to rate and review if you haven't already. And hey, have you joined the Facebook group, the Ecstatic Woman podcast community?<br><br>It's a great community I'm building. And I'm bringing on some extra, like behind the scenes and extra content from the guests and ways you guys can connect with the guests more intimately as well as just ways you can connect with fellow ecstatics and on and on, right? A sense of community. Both men and women are welcome. And otherwise I will see you next time.<br><br>on the ecstatic woman podcast. I love you so much.<br><br><br></p>
