Episode Transcript
<p><!--block-->Alara Sage (00:06.28)<br>Hello, hello and welcome to another episode of the ecstatic woman podcast. I'm your host Alara Sage. I'm a womb shaman and a mentor activator of Kundalini Shakti. So I help men and women to really step into the power of their creator of the creatrix that they are to really create exactly what they desire. One of the things I talk about a lot is<br><br>that this energy, your creative life force energy is also your sexual energy, is also your personal power. And one of the aspects and kind of cherries on the top of really beginning to understand this and embody this is your, what I call, sexy AF self. So your sexy AF self is this sexy version of you.<br><br>that literally becomes activated as you embody your sexual power, your personal power, your creative life force energy. And it's kind of interesting as I talk about this because we have given so much power away, particularly women have given so much power away to society.<br><br>that society has the right to tell us whether we are sexy or not and what is sexy.<br><br>What if we said screw that? What if we started to determine for ourselves?<br><br>Alara Sage (01:53.608)<br>whether or not we are sexy, determined for ourselves that we are sexy to allow and to activate the sexiness that we are.<br><br>Alara Sage (02:08.872)<br>society has said you have to be a certain figure and you have to look a particular way and you have to kind of be under a certain age, right? Like old women aren't sexy. But really, sexiness comes from an internal feeling, a feeling, a conviction, a deep belief that hot diggity damn, I am sexy.<br><br>And through that belief, just like anything, we create our reality from our belief structures. So just like any other belief, this is how magical humans truly are. Just like any other belief, we get to say, you know what? I am sexy. I feel sexy. And so it is. This is why you can have women of all different sizes.<br><br>that you are like, wow, she's really sexy. How there have been bigger women in our society, how have blown out of the water this quote unquote ideal figure because they have fully embodied who they are, owned it, claimed it, and rocked it. Rocked it. Meanwhile, there are many, many, many women who are<br><br>looking in the mirror and judging aspects of their body up against some external model. And I don't mean like model is in the fashion industry. I mean a model as in this is the template of beautiful, of sexy, of worthiness.<br><br>Alara Sage (03:58.856)<br>dictated by whom? And even if you could narrow it down to one person, would you care what that person thought? And perhaps because it's not narrowed down to one person, because it is societal, it's a little bit harder. We want to be received and accepted by society.<br><br>And as always, that comes first and foremost by being received and accepted by ourselves.<br><br>Alara Sage (04:37.896)<br>So for instance, I grew up with my mother having cellulite on her legs, quite a bit of it, because it's genetic. And I remember thinking I just would do anything to not have that when I'm her age. And so I worked out. I worked out a lot. And I was really, really fit.<br><br>But as I look back on that now, I was fit because I didn't accept myself. I would go to the gym in order to feel good in my body. And the version of me now just wouldn't do that. I don't need to work out to feel better about myself. I work out, but I work out because it makes me feel good, not about myself, but<br><br>Physically in my like my body feels better and I don't work out as much as I used to as it as a younger Person not because of my age, but because I don't need that I don't need to have this perfectly sculpted body to feel sexy and Guess what? I have that cellulite on my legs just like she did and I've learned to embrace it and<br><br>More importantly than embrace it to see myself as sexy and to feel sexy in my body. So it's not just like, I put up with it. I deal with it. I accept it in that way. It's like, no, I am really sexy AF and I wear the things that I like that allow me that help me.<br><br>that emphasize that sexy feeling. Now, of course, it's never about clothing. It's not the point of this conversation. It's not that we have to have certain clothing to make us feel sexy. And simultaneously, clothing helps you make helps make you feel sexy. Like that's be real about this. You can put on a very drapey, like boxy thing that<br><br>Alara Sage (06:58.632)<br>It reminds me when I used to many, many, many, many, many, many years ago for a very short period of time, I worked at the Hilton Torrey Pines and the outfits were horrible. It was the only uniform I ever had to wear. Never again. It was like wearing a potato sack. It was the color was like a potato sack. The fit was like a potato sack. It was everything potato sack. Yes, I mean, if you put something like that on.<br><br>It's harder to feel sexy, but we could still do it. We can still do it. So it's not about the clothes, but by all means, I give you permission to have fun with the clothing. Like who says that we can't choose to wear what makes us feel sexy. That's not giving our power away. That's enjoying ourselves. It's enjoying our clothing and choosing.<br><br>we want in the journey of sexiness.<br><br>Alara Sage (08:05.64)<br>I read something the other day on Facebook that said our age is not in our genes. Like there is nothing in our genes that ages us that tells us this is your age and therefore, therefore here's your list of things that come with that age. There is nothing like that. That is all made up in our head. How huge is that? There's nothing in our genetics say at 50 years old, this is what happens to your body at 60 years old.<br><br>This is what happens to your body. And yet how many conversations, particularly for women, because you don't see these conversations for men here and there a little bit, but mainly they're for women. This is what happens when women hit 40. This is what happens when women hit 50. This is what happens when women hit 60. Is it, or have we taken on the belief?<br><br>that that's what happens. Let me give you a hint. Yes, we have.<br><br>You know, I call Shakti and creative life force energy. So remember, all sexual energy is creative life force energy, but not all Shakti is sexual, right? So when we connect more to our creative life force energy, I call it the fountain of youth because you literally will go back in time with your quote unquote aging.<br><br>That in and of itself proves that all of this is bullshit. But I want to emphasize here that this is all rooted in belief structures and projected onto us and programmed into us. And I'm kind of calling women out like, hey, guess what? We're furthering this. We're continuing to believe in this. We're continuing to feed this bullshit that this body<br><br>Alara Sage (10:06.92)<br>Shape, size, model is beautiful and sexy and this one isn't. When, what if we redefine sexy as in our sexual power, in our confidence, in our conviction of ourself, in our authenticity. What if we redefine sexy as fuck as authentic?<br><br>Now what happens to this whole industry that is built around trying to get women to fit into a box? And it's a billion dollar industry, a billion dollars. But wait, don't we have all these problems with poverty and starvation? Like, we're always wondering how we're supposed to solve these world problems.<br><br>Well, I'm not saying that the beauty industry should solve the starvation industry. That's a starvation issue. But what I'm saying is we're radically misdirected and radically misaligned about what is important to us. And again, this is not, I am not here to shame anybody. Let me be.<br><br>really effing clear about that. If you are somebody who spends a lot of money on beauty care and all of these things, that's beautiful. I love you. There is no shame here. Okay. I'm not here to shame anybody because that is not sexy. Shame is not sexy. Right. Aren't we staying in the energy of sexy? I want us to. So this isn't about shame. This isn't about like,<br><br>I shouldn't buy these things. I shouldn't do this because I'm feeding into the industry. No, fuck that. Okay? I want you to really just ask yourself, what does sexy feel like?<br><br>Alara Sage (12:17.512)<br>for you because it could feel different from me for me could feel different for all women. So what does it feel like for you and what are the things in your life that help you with that? And by all means, sweetheart, if that's like a fancy ass cream that you put on your face every night, then do that. If it's clothes, do that. And is this coming from the right place? That's always the question because you know, if like 50 ,000, hundred thousand dollars worth of<br><br>plastic surgery is meant to make you feel sexy and then you still don't feel sexy. Like there's an underlying issue, right? There's an underlying issue there. So it's about the clarity behind the why we do things.<br><br>Alara Sage (13:09.576)<br>So taking it back to the clothing that I like to wear, it goes back to just like, I really want to wear this right now. That's it.<br><br>Alara Sage (13:22.76)<br>rather than like, if I don't wear this, I'm not sexy. Or if I wear this other item, I'm not sexy, right? That my sexiness is dependent on the clothing versus simply like the sexy version of me wants to wear it. It's always important to be really clear on why you're doing anything because we're really good at fooling ourselves. The ego is a wonderful manipulator.<br><br>And your ego can manipulate you to do all kinds of things, telling you like, no, no, no, no, no. You don't understand. Like, we got to do this, right? Like, if we don't do this, I mean, the world's going to collapse. OK, so just like do it. Because I'm being dramatic. But I think you understand what I'm saying. We can just we can convince ourselves of all kinds of things. So really being clear in why you're doing something is what really matters. And if you feel like you're doing it because<br><br>The sexy you, the sexy you wants to do that. Not the you that isn't sexy and therefore wants it to be sexy. Not the lack of sexy you, the sexy you. Do you see what I'm saying?<br><br>If you can really feel it, the sexy version of you wants to do it, then by all means you do that. And then you relish my love. I invite you to relish in that sexiness because I am so over the bullshit that women have been put through. And you know, I'm here to be a voice and I'm here to poke and trigger.<br><br>society about these kinds of topics because we're done with them. That's just that's just the truth of it. We are so done with all of this stuff. So just it just needs to go and we make it go. We wash ourselves of it by owning it in ourselves.<br><br>Alara Sage (15:28.712)<br>So contemplate this for yourself. Spend time in your imagination. What is the sexy you? How does she walk? How does she dress? How does she move? What actions does she do that are sexy AF? Connect to her, embody her, let her out. Because there is something so magical when women embody their sexy.<br><br>Alara Sage (16:02.024)<br>And oftentimes what transpires through this is I'm not allowed, it's not OK, it's not safe. One of the things that I have come across as I've worked with this is it's taking up too much space, which I did a whole conversation about. It's taking up too much. I can't wear that because I'll make the other people uncomfortable. So as you do this,<br><br>You just want to acknowledge all of those beliefs that come up, or I can't wear this because I'm this age, or whatever. All the beliefs that want to say, who do you think you are? You can't do that. And breathe into your body when you have those thoughts. Breathe into your body. Breathe into acceptance.<br><br>And just exhale those thoughts right out of your body. Just, just let it go.<br><br>Alara Sage (17:08.488)<br>release it.<br><br>Because all that is is society that says, hey, you know what? There's a definition of sexy, and you have to fit into it. And really, I'm really sorry to tell you, but you just didn't make that mark. So therefore, you don't get to be sexy at all. You just get to be not sexy. Like, fuck that. All women can be sexy. All people can be sexy.<br><br>Alara Sage (17:47.784)<br>So who is that in you? What does she look like? How does she move? How does she?<br><br>How does she live her life? Like how does she move through her life? Like feel her, connect to her.<br><br>and feel her.<br><br>and<br><br>Notice what happens if you move your body that way. What happens if you wear that clothing? What happens if you move through life in that way?<br><br>Alara Sage (18:28.328)<br>and<br><br>Alara Sage (18:41.416)<br>And if you do have sexual trauma, sexual shame, if you have any unworthiness, any inadequacy, it's going to be triggered with this because this is all rooted in your pelvis. So remember that the distortion of the sacral chakra, the distortion of your creative energy, your energy, your pure potentiality.<br><br>is rooted in inadequacy. That's the general distortion. That's the shadow side of the inexhaustible wealth that creative life force can create. That creative life force, like the essence of creative life force, is inexhaustible wealth. The shadow is inadequacy. So you want to be really present with us as you play with this.<br><br>Alara Sage (19:38.792)<br>What happens if you change your perspective? Because everything that goes to do with your body, your face, your hair, whatever it is, you're just simply perceiving it away. So you're seeing something and you're saying, that's ugly, that's not right, that's not okay, that's not enough of something. What if you just simply changed your perspective? Like you can literally change your perspective in the moment. Just...<br><br>I choose to see myself beautiful.<br><br>I choose to see myself as sexy. I choose to see differently.<br><br>Alara Sage (20:23.112)<br>it that's it because isn't it ironic right that like ages ago you know round curvy women with rolls was considered sexy because that meant that they had money and food right it was just simply a belief and a perception that's it and then it somehow shifted into this you know you have to be anorexic and<br><br>and are toned and all this other thing. And now that's sexy and perfect. Again, just to believe in a perspective. That's it. That's all it ever was.<br><br>That's all it ever was. So noticing where you've taken on those beliefs about yourself, about your own body.<br><br>Alara Sage (21:17.864)<br>Invite yourself to shift your perspective. Invite yourself to feel sexy. Invite yourself to create things in your life that allow you to feel sexy. Be the sexy you. There is a sexy version of you. Let her out. Let her speak. Let her express.<br><br>Alara Sage (21:42.664)<br>And this isn't.<br><br>like flaunting this isn't<br><br>Alara Sage (21:53.544)<br>I don't know what word to bring it forward, but this isn't like scandalous. Like you're not going around strutting. Well, that's not completely true. Strut, my love, strut. Strut away. Strut all night long. Walk the catwalk. I'm too sexy for this shit. Too sexy for this shit. So sexy it hurts.<br><br>Alara Sage (22:23.304)<br>You know what I mean when I do my little dance on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk. Strut away. But it's not scandalous. It's not like, you know, slutty. This is like sexy. Sexy is not slutty. Those are two different things. You get to choose.<br><br>You get to choose what your sexy looks like. You get to choose how she comes through you. You get to choose. But I recommend that you have that conviction that not only is this OK, this is beautiful and powerful and authentic because you're asking yourself. You're not saying that person over there is sexy. I'm going to be like her.<br><br>So much of our society is, like so and so wears this and they wear that and they have this handbag. If I do that, I'll be sexy. Bullshit, right? That's not truth. You have to ask yourself and you have to feel it. Then it's authentic. That's just your authentic self. It's not scandalous. It's not slutty. It's not. It's not. It's just your authentic self feeling.<br><br>sexy in a human body. That's it. So give yourself permission.<br><br>Alara Sage (24:00.264)<br>And if there are certain environments that you don't feel safe to do this, don't do it right away. Find environments that you feel safe to do it in. Play in those first until you get more conviction. And then take it everywhere. Where can't you take this? I went stand up paddle boarding this weekend. I was sexy.<br><br>And my body, you know, I have, like I said, I have cellulite on my legs, lots of it. I'm not like formed and fitted and toned, but I rocked it.<br><br>per me, right? Like, I feel like I rocked it. I have no idea what anybody else thought, nor do I care. I'm telling myself that I rocked it because I felt that I did. And the only one that I care about is me with regards to opinions about myself. So me says I rocked it. And that's all that matters.<br><br>Alara Sage (25:09.896)<br>I hope this has inspired you to connect to the sexy AF version of you and redefine that for yourself. Redefine that for all of women. Like we all need to do this for women, for each other. Okay, this is the guess you're doing it for yourself first and foremost. And as you do it for yourself, you're giving permission to other women. You're saying we are redefining this.<br><br>that we get to choose, we get to choose, we get to choose what sexy is. And each one of us gets to define that for herself, embody that, be that, and play in that version of sexy. And that's it. That's the definition of sexy, somebody in their authentic self.<br><br>in the conviction of it, expressing it, playing it, being it. That is it. That is sexy AF.<br><br>Alara Sage (26:15.72)<br>Let that hit the media. Let that come out. Let that be our normal.<br><br>and for the generations to come. Do you know any little girls? For them, for her. Let's recreate this together. I invite you.<br><br>Alara Sage (26:41.352)<br>I love you all so very much. Thank you as always for being a part of this and please share this episode with other women. Please let's get this word out. We get to define what sexy is. We get to feel it be it express it. So share this episode. As many women as you can. Thank you all so much.<br><br><br></p>
