Episode Transcript
<p><!--block-->Alara Sage (00:01.058)<br>Hello, hello and welcome to another episode of the ecstatic woman where we activate women in their power in their authenticity and in their bliss. I'm your host, Alara Sage. I help female leaders change makers to embody their sexy AF self, their genius, their wealth and really bring forth their visionary impact, create that visionary impact in their physical reality.<br><br>Today is a solo episode where it's just you and me and we're kind of diving deeper into a topic. And today I want to talk about, I'm not quite sure. Am I going to talk about perfectionism or am going to talk about letting go of control? And are they any different? That's delicious.<br><br>We had an experience this weekend that really sat with me for multiple different reasons that I wanted to share with you. And the experience was that we decided on Sunday to go stand up paddleboard. We have a lake really right next to where we live. It's a beautiful lake. It's really great for stand up paddleboarding. And we had purchased two paddleboards this summer to do just that. We'd gone several times.<br><br>So we got all of our things together with myself, my partner Danny, and my two boys. And just kind of bringing everything together, excited. We're going to have fun. We go out of the door. I remember I forgot something. I go back. I grab it, go out the door again. And just five minutes down the road, it's a lake. We get to the lake. We set up. We get this shade that we like to set up, a tent shade. And we always have a portable barbecue that we bring.<br><br>and we create lunch first and then we go out on the paddler boards. And we get there and we're setting up and we realize that we don't have any propane. At this point, we're all starving because we'd all like anticipated having lunch when we got there and we're like, my gosh, there's no propane. But okay, like we're five minutes away. So I hopped into the car.<br><br>Alara Sage (02:18.604)<br>And I drove back as they continued to pump up the paddle boards and kind of get everything set up. And I went and got the propane and I was driving back and there was a lot of people leaving the area. It's a very, very, very busy area. And there was a lot of people leaving because there was a storm coming<br><br>And I got there and there was a couple of raindrops dropping. And, you know, we were like, no, we're going to stay. You know, we, we're going to have fun. We're going to stay. And I was like, I don't think it's going to rain too hard anyways, but whatever. We're good. And, so we started cooking and doing all that. It started raining and then it started to pour down rain. And my, my boys are trying to put up towels and everything to, help keep us dry.<br><br>And the wind is just pushing the rain right into under the tent. And so my partner drops two of the tent poles down and kind of creates this half, you know, the tent is tilted and that worked quite well. Meanwhile, he's standing out in the rain cooking our lunch on the barbecue<br><br>We were laughing so hard and the rain was just picking up and it was hitting the dirt. It's just kind of like this dirt area right in front of the lake. And there's really not any sand. There's not a whole lot of grass. It's just kind of dirt. And all this dirt was like being spattered onto us through the raindrops and it was chilly and wet. And we were laughing.<br><br>Alara Sage (04:02.712)<br>And I just remember thinking, you know, 10 years ago, I wouldn't have experienced this moment this way. I would have gotten frustrated if we didn't have the propane, you know, that it started raining, that not everything was perfect.<br><br>And my partner and I were laughing, the boys were laughing and then the rain kind of let up and we were getting all ready again and then it started raining again. And by this point we are literally in stitches. are laughing at everything so hard. You know what that point when you're laughing but your belly stops moving because it's literally like cramped and your face is<br><br>It's like paralyzed in like the movement of laughter. It's like nothing is really happening and yet you're laughing kind of sort of, but you're so deep in the laughter.<br><br>Alara Sage (05:01.592)<br>And so many people left and only a few people remained. And we had like the lake to ourselves in this very, very populated area. And so after it stopped raining, we got on the paddle boards and we went and we just had such a glorious time. And, you know, the irony of it is, is that my boys who are nine and 11 were like, that was the best paddle boarding experience ever.<br><br>And we've had other times where everything went smoothly, everything went perfectly, quote unquote. We had no rain, it was just sun, perfect weather.<br><br>And really, like I really received that reflection from their eyes. This imperfect experience was perfect. And I felt the same way. So I felt like we'll always remember this time, right? We might not always remember the other times where everything went quote unquote perfectly, but this time we'll remember, we won't forget.<br><br>Alara Sage (06:13.058)<br>But to be able to experience imperfections, ways in which things go wrong, right? If you're planning something and you're executing and it goes wrong, a trip, a project.<br><br>You know, we have to be able to let go of control.<br><br>Alara Sage (06:34.36)<br>And we have to be able to see the perfection in it, regardless. Even if, let's say, we weren't five minutes from the lake, let's say we'd driven two hours and forgot the propane. We would have laughed, breathed into our bodies, and eaten what we had.<br><br>and made do with it and still had a fun experience.<br><br>Alara Sage (07:10.592)<br>None of that matters.<br><br>Alara Sage (07:14.646)<br>You know, yes, it's, you know, we love this little portable grill we have. just love like what it creates, the burgers and everything it creates. It's super tasty. And so we're always super excited to use it. And it's still not what creates the experience. We create the experience.<br><br>Us being together as a family creates the experience. What we choose to focus on creates the experience.<br><br>when I was sitting there and I was getting wet.<br><br>and I was chilly and I had this towel over me and my boys were so cute they were trying to keep the rain off of me even though I was fine. I remember thinking man I would have just hated this before.<br><br>old me, the one who did like everything to be perfect, did like control, would have been so focused on the imperfectionist, imperfection of the experience that I wouldn't have given myself permission to enjoy<br><br>Alara Sage (08:39.832)<br>And that's really what this conversation is about today.<br><br>Alara Sage (08:46.466)<br>We're focused on these expectations and the way that we want things to go. We miss the beauty of how it is. We miss how absolutely perfect it actually is, no matter the challenge, no matter how different it is from<br><br>how you wanted<br><br>Alara Sage (09:23.636)<br>It's the permission and the willingness to see this too is<br><br>this moment is perfect. Maybe not how my ego mind thought was perfect, but how can I see this moment as<br><br>Alara Sage (09:46.764)<br>How can I give myself permission to enjoy the perfectionism that is creation?<br><br>in a society of duality, love to label things good or bad. But what if they're all just perfect?<br><br>What if everything is<br><br>Alara Sage (10:13.11)<br>Truth is, it's rather arrogant. And I claim this for myself.<br><br>Alara Sage (10:21.676)<br>Believe that we know what is right and wrong, good and<br><br>Alara Sage (10:29.1)<br>when creation is the one creating it<br><br>Alara Sage (10:37.752)<br>Creation is the one creating it. Who are we to say it's right or wrong, good or bad? It's kind of like you sit down and you create this beautiful piece of art that really comes from your heart. It's an expression of you. It really has nothing to do with anybody else. It came from within, and it just poured out of you, and it just felt masterful. And then somebody comes along and says, well, that's a piece of crap piece of<br><br>But wait a second, who are you?<br><br>Alara Sage (11:14.146)<br>to label my art that I created.<br><br>Now the truth is, we're all creating our reality. You are the creator of your own life. So can you see it as the masterpiece?<br><br>the smudges and the mistakes, the brush marks that didn't show up the way you wanted them and the colors that didn't quite dry the shade that you anticipated. Can you still love that masterpiece?<br><br>Alara Sage (11:50.346)<br>And my point to this is it's in those brushstrokes. It's in the brushstrokes that we create the masterpiece. Because when we're in that for ourselves, playing with the paint of our life and brushing it onto the canvas and giving ourselves permission to enjoy it even when the brushstroke isn't what we expected, then that pleasure<br><br>That enjoyment, that happiness, fulfillment is what comes into the painting. Now the painting is infused with the vibration of enjoyment, pleasure.<br><br>fulfillment. So every time you look at that painting, that's what you're going to feel. Just like when I think about this last weekend.<br><br>I laugh, I I instantly smile. I think what a beautiful, beautiful experience that was for all of us. I'm so grateful that all of those things happened exactly like they did.<br><br>Alara Sage (13:11.702)<br>I hope this has helped you to notice perhaps where you overly control or expect or don't allow for those mishaps that are part of creation. You know, I used to say that I loved getting lost when I was driving somewhere. So I always came upon the most craziest little places. I never felt like getting lost. I actually felt like exploring. One time I was driving back to my original home.<br><br>And I found this place that my parents used to always take us when we'd go on road trips. had these plate -sized cinnamon buns, these pies, and all this gorgeous stuff. It's out in the middle of nowhere. I just happened to drive down a road, and there it was.<br><br>Was I lost? Was I found?<br><br>You get to answer that. I love you all so very much. Thank you for listening to The Ecstatic Woman. Please share, share this podcast with other women. Until next time.<br><br><br></p>
