Living The Hell Yes Life

Alara Sage (00:07.778) Hello and welcome to another episode of the Ecstatic Woman podcast, where we inspire and activate women in their power, in their authenticity, in their bliss. I'm your host, Alara Sage. I am a womb shaman, an activator and facilitator of Shakti energy and an embodied femme power. I've even called myself the Ecstatic Life mentor. And I really help women. to reclaim the wisdom of their womb, the esoteric knowledge of their womanhood and embody their true power, their true voice and create a life that lights them up, that they adore, that honestly makes them feel ecstatic and blissful. And that's what we're here to talk about today in this solo episode. We're here to talk about living a life that lights you up, living a life that creates feelings and sensations of ecstasy and bliss for you. As always in these solo episodes, I will be bringing you my own personal experiences, my own personal story in hopes that it gives you something to relate to, some context, and perhaps a reflection of your own personal experiences and life. Alara Sage (01:43.338) I would say that for much of my life, I've actually done quite well. with living my hell yes life, with living a life that lights me up. Alara Sage (01:59.938) From an early age, I was able to find my passion. When I was younger, that equated to horses, and I just dived right into horses and spending time with horses and riding horses and showing horses. And as I got into my early teens, maybe mid-teens, I was able to find jobs. that I really enjoyed. I worked at a board shop, which was a snowboard, skateboard, surfboard shop. And later on worked at one of my local coffee houses called Dutch Brothers, which was originated in my hometown. That was just a very, very vibrant place to work. It felt very nourishing. It felt very fun. It was just a great place. Alara Sage (02:57.65) After that, I continued to find work that lit me up. Because it never really made sense to me to do work that didn't light me up. Why would I spend so much time of my life doing something I hated? Now, it's not to say that I haven't had any jobs that I disliked. I've waitressed twice in my life and didn't like either one of them. I worked at a Hilton one time, friend desk and then upgraded. to another position and I wasn't super fond of that either. And outside of that, I've been able to cultivate joy in my workplace. Alara Sage (03:48.47) But today I want to bring in some really poignant moments where I either followed what lit me up or I did not. And what ensued because of that? Alara Sage (04:03.038) One of the most profound ones that I've spoken about quite often on this podcast is when I was 19 years old and had every intention of going to university and found myself failing the SAT test. found myself sobbing on the floor in front of my mother and her asking for the second time, are you sure this is what you want to do? Because I was pursuing work as a computer programmer, which, yeah, isn't really who I am. Alara Sage (04:45.226) When she asked me that before, I had denied it. I had said, yes, this is what I want. But on that third failure of the SAT test, in that moment of bawling on the floor, feeling very frustrated, lost, uncertain with my life and who I was. And she asked me the next second time, are you sure this is what you want to do? Alara Sage (05:15.734) Out of nowhere, out of my mouth came, no, I want to travel the world. And honestly, I'd never thought about it. But in that moment, I felt it. I felt it in my body. Alara Sage (05:34.914) felt the energy of adventure. Alara Sage (05:40.814) And my mother supported me and my parents supported me. And I went very rapidly into creating that for myself. Alara Sage (05:54.738) It led me into... some of the most profound years of my life. Traveling the world, I learned to become a scuba diving instructor, being underwater all the time. connecting to the magic of the underwater world, teaching people, it was tremendous on so many levels. Alara Sage (06:27.415) And yet it had to end. I didn't feel like being a scuba diving instructor my whole life. And when it ended, it ended, it was done. I was done, that was it. Alara Sage (06:44.726) And once again, found myself in confusion. feeling lost, questioning who I was. Alara Sage (07:00.19) I really had no idea what I wanted to do. Alara Sage (07:06.462) At that time in my life, I had first gone to Barcelona, Spain, and my partner, who turned into my husband later on, and I tried to live in Barcelona, Spain. And we ended up moving to San Diego instead. Alara Sage (07:29.814) and I found myself working at Hilton. Alara Sage (07:35.27) and I can absolutely tell you that did not light me up. Alara Sage (07:44.798) It was a choice of logic. I had worked in tourism. OK. What else can I do in tourism? I can work in the hotel industry. OK. I'll do that. Alara Sage (08:03.526) Mostly what didn't light me up about it was the corporate energy. You know, I couldn't wear a thumb ring. My earrings weren't allowed to be larger than a quarter. Alara Sage (08:19.67) Those two things were very much a part of who I was. My thumb ring and my large earrings. And then I had to put on this uniform that honestly looked like a potato sack. They were very outdated and old. Alara Sage (08:38.538) Great job. Alara Sage (08:42.434) And I remember a few comments by customers. One in particular was a man who sold sunglasses. and he... told me that if I got him into a better room, he'd give me a free pair of sunglasses. So I was like, sure, why not? And then he followed through, but he projected onto me the kind of sunglasses he thought I would like based on the job outfit that I had to wear. Alara Sage (09:24.242) at Hilton. The lack of personal expression. Alara Sage (09:31.191) It really hit me. I felt like he didn't see me at all. I felt like I wasn't who I was in this outfit and these rules and this environment that felt very stifling. Alara Sage (09:59.355) I got a promotion within a short amount of time. It was like two months in I was promoted. Alara Sage (10:07.946) but it was about six months in that I was done. Alara Sage (10:13.262) There was no passion whatsoever there for me. I did not enjoy going to work. I did not enjoy the environment at all. Alara Sage (10:30.83) So I started to look for another position and I found a position for a bed and breakfast, assistant manager. And I got that position. And that was a fun position. I enjoyed it. However, it still wasn't really who I was. Alara Sage (10:54.85) And therefore, I think I was there for about a year. And I just decided we needed to leave San Diego. And maybe that was the issue. We just needed to go somewhere else. And so we went to Costa Rica, and we were managing hotels there. And it was basically the same thing. Alara Sage (11:18.678) I didn't like my work. Alara Sage (11:23.646) I don't really like managing people that don't like their work. Because when people don't like their work, they don't show up. And I don't want to force people to show up. I don't want to micromanage them. Alara Sage (11:45.79) Now at the time of all of that, you know, I didn't know what living a lit life meant. Alara Sage (11:57.546) I didn't know why diving had felt so great, traveling the world had felt so great, and hotel and bed and breakfast and resort in Costa Rica didn't. I didn't know what it was. I was still functioning in a logical mind. Alara Sage (12:24.086) The next big decision I made that was out of logic was to marry the man that I had done all of that with. Alara Sage (12:41.134) The truth is, is that when I started dating him... Alara Sage (12:46.738) I already knew that I was choosing this logically. There was a sense of safety and comfort with him. And I knew that I would feel safe and comfortable. And I did. I felt safe and comfortable our entire relationship. And what I did not feel was passion. What I did not feel was aliveness. Alara Sage (13:21.678) For some of our relationship, I was able to create that, create the feeling of aliveness by continuing to move. Him and I moved around and around and around because I insisted upon it. Alara Sage (13:38.442) And then came our wedding day in Maui in a wonderful island, a beautiful wedding. Everything in my body said no. Alara Sage (13:54.11) And I stood at the altar and I said yes. Alara Sage (14:09.407) It was comfortable. Alara Sage (14:13.396) and it was safe. Alara Sage (14:17.418) After that, we moved to Colorado, we bought a house, we rooted down, and the one thing that was making me feel alive-ness, the moving, to which honestly, I was exhausted of, I wanted to stop, but I didn't realize that was my. Alara Sage (14:39.914) channel of aliveness. I hadn't owned the truth. Alara Sage (14:51.85) So when that channel was severed and we began to live, quote unquote, a normal life. Alara Sage (15:02.919) I actually became very sick. Alara Sage (15:09.29) At that time, I had already started to work with horses, so I had that going for me. I loved working with the horses. That lit me up. Alara Sage (15:22.71) but I was creating this life that ultimately didn't light me up. Alara Sage (15:34.154) And I was aware that I was choosing to do this. I was aware of my no on the wedding day and I continued to be aware of my no. Alara Sage (15:53.214) And I continued to say yes instead. Alara Sage (16:03.274) Living a hell yes life, living a life that lights you up, living a life that's truly what you desire. Alara Sage (16:14.582) That is blissful, that is ecstatic, that is liberated, that is playful, that is alive, that is joyous, that feels good, is 100% about your nos and your yeses. Alara Sage (16:34.774) Those nos and your yeses are rooted in your body. And for women, they're rooted in your labialypse. Labialypse are where we hold the energy of our boundaries, our no and our yes. And if you think about it, it really makes sense, doesn't it? Because in order to live a life that is blissful, that is ecstatic, that is alive, You must allow yourself to be penetrated by life. You must allow yourself to be penetrated by nourishment, by creative life force energy, by love, by abundance. Alara Sage (17:20.22) and that penetration. takes deep self-trust. and a deep sense of safety because of that self-trust. Alara Sage (17:37.362) Self-trust is created through the relationship with ourself as we either listen to our nos and yeses or do not listen to our nos and yeses. Every time we listen, we validate the trust for ourselves. And every time we don't listen, we create self-betrayal, distrust. and ultimately self-hate. Resentment. even self-rejection. Alara Sage (18:23.15) Because if I haven't learned anything my whole life, what I have learned is not following those cues is very, very painful. physically, emotionally, and mentally. Alara Sage (18:45.43) Those cues keep us safe, keep us aligned, keep us lit, lit with the love for life. Alara Sage (19:02.174) If you think about it physically, right, back to the labia ellipse, and you think about all of the times, because let's be really clear. Let's be really honest here. There are absolutely times that you have allowed something to penetrate your pussy when you didn't want it to, whether it be fingers or... Alara Sage (19:32.405) or anything else. Everybody, every woman has allowed it. Alara Sage (19:46.706) If you're privy to that information in your body, meaning the cellular memory that you hold, because of that, you will feel. how bad it feels and maybe you're being triggered right now. Maybe you can already feel it in your body as I speak these words. Perhaps you're feeling how painful it is to let yourself be penetrated when you don't feel safe to let yourself be penetrated when you don't feel love when you don't feel connection when it just isn't right. You don't want it. It doesn't feel good. Do you need any other reason? We do. We've had to have other reasons. We've told ourselves that there are other reasons when the truth of it is there aren't. There are no other reasons than if it feels good or not to you. But that's not what we've done for ourselves. We have shoulded and coulded and woulded and all kinds of shaming and guilting ourselves into actions that feel far from good, logically analyzing and explaining to ourselves why this makes sense. Alara Sage (21:18.534) Living a hell yes life isn't about it making sense Alara Sage (21:29.842) It's about how it makes you feel. Alara Sage (21:35.25) And as humans, we've lost contact with that. We've lost contact with how things make us feel, and we've lost the permission to ourselves for that. We've stopped giving ourselves permission to do things for ourself that feel good. Alara Sage (22:09.078) Now I'm not talking drugs and alcohol and things like that because if you honestly feel into that to your body, it doesn't feel good. It's a superficial, temporary. feel good quote unquote, but it's not a true feel good. No, I mean a real feel good, a feel good that's rooted in your body, it lights your body up. Or if it's a no, it shuts your body down. Alara Sage (22:46.55) So as we have allowed for things to penetrate us. Alara Sage (22:53.986) that were a no. And I'm not just talking sexually. I'm talking all experiences. When you say you'll do something and you really don't want to, you're penetrating yourself with that experience. If you really think of it that way, it'll feel really bad to your body. OK, let's put it this way. Think about going over to. and uncle's house for the holidays. And perhaps you've never felt safe around this uncle since you were a little girl. Maybe you don't know why, maybe you do know why, but you do know you've never really liked him. You don't care to be around him. Okay, now it's the holidays and hey, guess what? We're going over to uncle's house. Come on over. Well, now you've got the obligation of the family. You don't want to upset anybody. You can't say no, can you? Can you? Alara Sage (24:04.598) And if you think of that experience, not even necessarily the man, but the experience of going over there and placing yourself. in an environment that feels very unsafe to your body. And you imagine that experience penetrating you, that's a hell no. Why would you do that? Why would we allow ourselves to do that? This is what we've been taught since we were little kids and we are pressed into circumstances. that our bodies said no. This is what we were taught. And as women, even more so. Alara Sage (25:03.15) And I had done just that. I had agreed to. Alara Sage (25:11.99) what is said to be the biggest decision of your life, which I don't agree with that. But marriage, you know, it's a big decision, right? Alara Sage (25:21.47) And I had stood there and said yes when it was a no. And I had allowed logic. Alara Sage (25:33.014) reasoning, safety and comfort. which are beautiful things, comfort is beautiful. But when we only live in comfort, we live in mediocracy. When we only say yes to comfort, we say yes to mediocracy. We say yes to living the mundane life, the non-alive life. the non-passionate life. Because passion is not comfort. Alara Sage (26:18.142) And that led me to get very sick, physically, very, very ill. Took me years to recover. It led me to having to divorce with two young children. Alara Sage (26:40.514) and pivoting my life and recreating. Alara Sage (26:51.582) and I've spoke about it on here before. of my Kundalini awakening. When the energy shot through my body and I hit full body orgasm. Alara Sage (27:07.354) and After that, I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't continue to say yes. Alara Sage (27:22.542) to the know. I had experienced ecstasy. I had experienced what I was capable of. Alara Sage (27:37.15) and I had no choice but to follow that. because I had become numb. I had become so incredibly shut down. Alara Sage (27:51.838) I had become incredibly shut down. Alara Sage (28:06.27) And I'm grateful for it because... Alara Sage (28:12.362) Just like the hot stove, that pain makes us realize, hey, if you put your hand on a hot stove, it hurts. And if you say yes to your nose. well, you're gonna experience a depth of pain that. We'll make you go numb. Alara Sage (28:38.502) I hope I can get you to hear me right now. I hope that you'll listen to these words. because the amount of people I see walking around shut down and numb. numbing their pain, the pain, the deep pain of not following one's desires. Alara Sage (29:08.551) It is so tremendous. Alara Sage (29:13.866) and I implore you. to really ask yourself if you're saying yes to your yeses and no's to your no. Alara Sage (29:31.19) And if you aren't to look at your life and really ask you, what is that costing you? Alara Sage (29:44.906) What is it costing you? Alara Sage (29:50.838) What is that perception of comfort costing you? Because that's what it is. It's a choice of comfort. Alara Sage (30:11.066) And after my waking, it wasn't one and done. It wasn't that I had figured it all out. And I never again said yes to my no and no to my yes. That's not at all what happened. If anything, it was just the beginning to really understanding that in myself. I had been blessed earlier in life to make those choices. I didn't know I was making those choices to the depth that I know now. And so I continued to make choices that were yes to no and no to yes. And I will tell you every single time. Alara Sage (31:00.174) It caused me a lot of pain. And the stronger the no that I said yes to, or the stronger the yes that I said no to, the greater the pain. Alara Sage (31:19.03) But don't forget that there is something called Chinese water torture. And don't forget the little drops of water. seem harmless individually combined over time. can be torturous. Because all the little times that you say yes to your no and no to your yes become Chinese water torture dripping incessantly on your forehead. until you scream. Alara Sage (32:09.134) Perhaps it's the Scorpio New Moon that we're in right now, and that's why I'm delivering this with such a razor sharp edge. I don't know. I know this is coming through very strong. Alara Sage (32:26.442) Sometimes we need that. Alara Sage (32:30.578) Every time my higher self has, quote unquote, slapped me in the face, I deserved it. I deserved the slap in the face. And honestly, I was grateful because I was holding my hand on that hot stove and pretending like it didn't hurt. Alara Sage (32:54.462) If you want the life that you say that you want. You have to get crystal clear. with what really is a no for you and what really is a yes for you. And then my love, then clarity is not the end. Clarity is the beginning. Because then you must take action. You must listen to yourself. You must stop listening. Alara Sage (33:43.51) to the logic. and the analytical explanation of why you shouldn't listen to yourself. Alara Sage (33:58.766) If you really think about that, that doesn't even make sense. No, don't listen to yourself. Yeah, right, don't listen to myself. Yeah, right, right. Because who should I listen to? Somebody. And that was one of the things I did. You know, the next big time that I experienced this was in my business, where I gave my power away to mentors that had reached millions of dollars. And I thought to myself, well, they must know better than me. And mentorship is so important. I've had so many mentors, and they're invaluable. They have changed my life. And still, you should never take mentors' advice over your own clear no or yes. because their advice is from their filter and their angle and their knowing. And your no and your yes is specifically and uniquely for you. But that's not what I did. No. My logical mind said, well, look, they've created a successful, very successful business and businesses. They clearly know what they're doing. So you just need to listen. Alara Sage (35:29.75) Which, absolutely, listen away. You can listen to people's advice. You can listen. It doesn't mean that you have to take action on it. You can hear. Perhaps that's the definition. You can hear what they say with open ears and an open mind and an open heart. Receive it into your body. Feel it in your body. And then ask yourself, is that true for me? But that's not what I did. Once again, I said, this is the way. And my body said, no, it's not. And I said, you know what? What do you know anyways, body? You're not a successful business person. So you don't know shit. Alara Sage (36:28.182) That's The Logical Mind speaking. Alara Sage (36:33.038) And so I spent a lot of money and a lot of time and I ended right back where my body told me that I should be the whole time. So the pain there was the time and the money and a lot of effort. And again, I'm so grateful for it. Alara Sage (36:56.406) Because every time we place our hand on that hot stove, it hurts. Oh, yes. That's right. That hurts. OK. I won't do that again. Wait, are you sure it hurts? Oh, yep. That hurts. OK. I won't do it again. I don't know. Maybe if I just did it differently, it would no ouch. That hurts. OK. Alara Sage (37:24.638) And every time I have listened against my logical mind, not that listening is always against the logical mind, not that creating a hell yes life is always going to be illogical because that's not true either. But there are moments that the logical mind struggles with what you're feeling to be true. And every time I have said yes to that yes and no to that no, I have created more freedom for myself. created more joy, more abundance, more everything that I truly want for myself. That's what's been created. And it's much easier. It comes easier. It feels easier. It is easier. Alara Sage (38:18.562) That aliveness, you know, the passion, the being lit, that my love is what you want to connect to. Because passion is what revolutionizes humanity. And it's what will revolutionize your life. Alara Sage (38:44.91) Passion comes from our heart. And when our heart is lit with passion, our wombs light up. Alara Sage (38:56.75) Our loin lights up. Alara Sage (39:02.222) We find extra energy that we didn't know existed. Magic occurs, synchronicities happen. Alara Sage (39:21.038) And you know, saying no to your nos and yeses to your yeses. I'm not saying it gives you immediate anything because it doesn't. And sometimes it creates more challenge initially. But I promise you my love, that if you have the resolve, if you hold resolution, in the trust of yourself. It will open up. You will experience what you desire over and over again, over and over again, over and over again. Alara Sage (40:22.446) So thank you so much for joining me here today. And I do work with women one-on-one. I work with them in groups. Make sure to check out my website, AlaraSage.com. I'm on Instagram, I'm on Facebook, I'm on LinkedIn, AlaraSage.com. And I can absolutely help you to clarify these yes and nos. I can help you to ignite. the passion in your life, I can help you to learn how to navigate your reality through these types of choices to create the life that you truly, truly desire. Make sure, my love, that you share this episode with your friends, with your family, with whomever you feel called. And also, there's a Facebook community, the Ecstatic Woman Podcast community. It's a group, you can join me there. And until next time, I love you all so very much.

Living The Hell Yes Life - Solopisode

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Episode Transcript

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