Self Sabotage & The Role of Guilt

Alara Sage: Hello, hello, and welcome to the Ecstatic Woman podcast, where we inspire and activate women in their power, in their connection, and their bliss. I'm your host, Alara Sage, the Ecstatic Life mentor. And I just want to bring forth that if you are listening to this podcast, if you are. came across it or you're regularly listening to this podcast that you, my love, are an ecstatic being. You have this potential within you to live this very blissful life, this very powerful life, this very, very tender life. And it is in moments like these and in this podcast and with our lovely host today that we learn how to embody more and more. of this version of you, more and more of your potential as a divine being here in a human experience. So without further ado, I'm so ecstatic to invite our guest today, Katie. And Katie is an energy master. And she is an embodiment coach. And she created. Shakti bomb. I mean, I just want to hear more about that. I'm all about Shakti and Shakti bomb together. Just, oh, that just sounds so delicious, feels so delicious in my body. But Katie really helps people, smart people, ambitious people, people who are spiritually driven, people who are desiring to change their life. She helps them to have massive breakthrough, right? Bomb explosion. Blow it out of the house. I can feel that in you, Katie. And she helps people to do this so that they can really connect to more of their desires, more of their integrity, more of their core values in their life. So Katie, thank you so much for being here with me today. Katie Kozlowski: Hi, thanks for having me. Alara Sage: Yeah. Katie Kozlowski: I'm always overjoyed to connect and share and create and just, you know, just be. I'm excited to be, to be with Alara Sage: Yeah. Katie Kozlowski: you today and to be me. I'm excited to be me. That sounds cheesy, but it's true, it's true. Alara Sage: I love it, I love it so much. And I wanna just call out that I wasn't sure about how to pronounce your last name. I meant to ask you, is it Kozlowski? Katie Kozlowski: You got it, it Alara Sage: Woo! Katie Kozlowski: is, it's cause you got Alara Sage: Okay. Katie Kozlowski: it right. It's exactly as it's spelled, but Alara Sage: Beautiful. Katie Kozlowski: it does sometimes call forth the fear of Alara Sage: Ha Katie Kozlowski: pronunciation Alara Sage: ha ha! Katie Kozlowski: blunders from people when they go. I don't know how to say that, but you did it perfectly. What is it? Alara Sage: Yay, Katie Kozlowski: And Alara Sage: okay. Katie Kozlowski: even if you'd said it wrong, people have mispronounced my name for centuries, I'm sure. So I'm just, Alara Sage: I completely Katie Kozlowski: I Alara Sage: understand Katie Kozlowski: still answer. Alara Sage: that. Ha Katie Kozlowski: I still say yes. Alara Sage: ha Katie Kozlowski: It's Alara Sage: ha. Katie Kozlowski: me. Alara Sage: Yay, okay, Katie. So, you know, when Katie and I were connecting, we were talking about guilt, and we were talking about this conversation of. You know, just in humanity, how we can have, we can feel guilty for everything, right? We can feel guilty if we're successful, we can feel guilty if we're not successful, right? We can feel guilty if we've found the love of our life, we can feel guilty if we haven't found that love of our life. We can kind of feel guilty for everything. and have this feeling like it, is it fair to be happy? And why do we carry around this, just this burden of guilt, which is very, very heavy on our shoulders. I get this image of a backpack and just carrying around this very, very heavy backpack, which is tiring, right? It wears us down. So Katie and I were having this really wonderful conversation. I was so excited to bring it here today. So Katie, tell me two questions. What was your experience with guilt? What was your story with guilt? And what did you learn from guilt? Katie Kozlowski: I always say, okay, do we want the mini series? Alara Sage: Hahaha! Katie Kozlowski: It's like Sex and the City. You know, it just like goes and goes and goes, and you've got all these seasons, and then there are movies, and then there are like more seasons, but I'll give you the, I always say I'll give the Cliff's Notes version. And really at the end of the day, when I take a step back, so the easiest way to do this is to sort of get the bird's eye view perspective of. the life I've lived, the things that I've experienced. And I felt guilt in many different facets in many different ways. I was a good girl at church and I was guilty of spray painting the bathroom wall. Now that was something that I did that I knew was wrong and that was very easy to understand. But there were a lot of things in my life that really confused me a lot. And it started as early as, you know, I was like, oh gosh, I mean, I think I was like, I was a little girl and I was singing in the church choir and I was the soloist and I was beautiful and I always was successful and I had a 4.0 GPA and I went to New York and you know, I got an agent easily and I always really felt guilty because success has come pretty easily to me in a lot of ways. And I have often felt like I need to apologize for that. And the problem with doing that is that when you do that, when you apologize for being who you are, right, you shut yourself off from receiving all the amazing things that you want. And that's really been my personal story and my experiences that I've always, I'm like Dorothy Gale, right? Like I've had it all along. I've always had the ruby slippers. I've always had what I need. I'm one of those people who's happy and joyous and... I really am this happy, you know, people are like, I don't buy it. No, I really am. But I felt really bad about it. And I felt bad about the fact that my happiness made other people feel bad. So then I started feeling bad about myself. And then that pretty much led to this self-fulfilling prophecy and spiral of, you know, a lot of not good things happening to me. So what did I learn? I mean, I think I basically learned that one, if you don't love and accept yourself for who you are, Right? You're going to struggle for the rest of your life. And I don't think that's necessary because when we really truly love and accept who we are, we get to enjoy everything that's meant for us. And that's true for everybody. So we don't have to be jealous, right? We don't have to spend our time comparing all the things I did. Right? I compared myself, beat myself up. I did all the stuff we all do. And it caused me so much hurt. So that was my lesson, right? Don't do that. Spend less time comparing yourself, apologizing, and spend more time loving yourself, and you're gonna have a great time. Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: Bye, nice being here, see you later. Ha ha ha. Alara Sage: And I love how you say, like, apologizing for your success, because also what does that really tell other people, right? I mean, when we're apologizing for who we are and our innate wealth and our happiness, like, I love how you just say, like, I'm a happy person. This is legitimately who I am. And if we're apologizing for that, like, what is that reflection to other people, right? Like, that's showing other people that it's not OK to. Be yourself, to be bright, to be brilliant, to be successful, to be all that you are. And I know that it's so important to you, Katie, that you are inspiring women, that you and men, you are inspiring people. You are showing them what is possible. So I'm really feeling that when we apologize, we aren't inspiring. We aren't showing them what's possible. Katie Kozlowski: Yeah, Alara Sage: So how did that pain feel in your body? Do you remember the pain of guilt? Do you remember how it felt? Katie Kozlowski: Well, I mean, the thing is that it, guilt is tricky because it, it's a shape shifting thing, right? So it's hard to track. First of all, I think guilt is a very sneaky emotional pattern because it will hide. And so I think that's my biggest memory is that I feel like I've been like hunting it my whole life. You know, I'm like, there's something there. I don't know what it is. Something's gonna get me, right? Alara Sage: Mmm. Katie Kozlowski: That's what it felt like in my body. It felt like something is very, very wrong with me and I am in danger, right? I am in grave danger and I don't know what it is, but clearly there's something that is not okay. And so the guilt was almost like the wolf. You know, it was this like hung, it's like this wolf. sort of hungry, vicious, nasty aspect of myself that was always there. But I mean, if you think about it, like wolves, they hide in shadows, right? It's usually the repressed emotions sort of take the shape of those creepy crawly snakes and beasts and the bears and the coyotes and... And that's what my body felt like. I just always felt like I was being hunted. Alara Sage: Mmm. Katie Kozlowski: But also the other side of it was I always, I've always been a natural huntress. So Alara Sage: Mmm. Katie Kozlowski: I've always been very willing to be in the woods. So I'm in the woods and I'm very much like my body felt like Little Red Riding Hood, you know? And I'm like, I've got my knife. I'll get you, I'll cut you. and I'm looking around going, where's the enemy? And that's what it felt like. Like I'm looking for something that's gonna get me. And the ironic thing is that the thing that's gonna get me is inside me. So I'm like, where is it? Where is it? And it's in me, Alara Sage: Hmm. Katie Kozlowski: the guilt. Alara Sage: Wow, what Katie Kozlowski: So Alara Sage: a Katie Kozlowski: I'm Alara Sage: powerful. Katie Kozlowski: trying to find out where the enemy is. Oh, hi, oh, there she is. Alara Sage: There she is. Now what Katie Kozlowski: Gotcha. Alara Sage: are you going to do with your knife, right? I love the Katie Kozlowski: Yeah. Alara Sage: red, red. Katie Kozlowski: Exactly. Alara Sage: The red, red. Mm-hmm. Katie Kozlowski: And that is the point because that's what I would do with the knife. Oh, oh, I found her, stab. And then I'm like, why, why do I feel so, why am I in so much pain? Well, because I had a knife and I kept turning it on myself because that's what guilt makes you do. It makes you hurt yourself, right? It makes you punish yourself. So Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: there's my story in a nutshell, right? Little Red Riding Hood traveling to grandmother's house, just happy as a clam, dilly-dally, skipping down the road, unaware. Something happens. All of a sudden, I become aware of the fact that there's something I need to protect myself from. I misinterpret that as being an enemy. I internalize the enemy. I hide it inside myself. And then I'm left with the weapon going, who's the bad guy. And then on certain occasions, I would indeed turn that knife on myself. And that's Alara Sage: Yeah. Katie Kozlowski: what we do. We turn it inward, because we don't know who else to attack. So then Alara Sage: And Katie Kozlowski: I attacked Alara Sage: I feel, Katie Kozlowski: myself. Alara Sage: yeah, I really feel that, it feels like the energy of self-sabotage, right? And, Katie Kozlowski: it's worse than that. Alara Sage: you know, Katie Kozlowski: I always say that. Alara Sage: it's that space of like... Oh, I need to injure myself because I'm the one doing the wrong. I'm so bad. And it feels like there's a lot of really deep religious connotations here. You know, and I have nothing against religion. Religion has a space. I accept religion completely. And any teaching, spiritual teachings about any dogmatic teaching, right, that really has this energy of we are sinful, we are wrong, we are so bad, we have to act a certain way. from my perspective, instead of really connecting to our own integrity and what really truly feels good to us, I feel like those types of teachings have that, okay, I'm gonna turn the knife on myself now because Katie Kozlowski: Oh Alara Sage: I'm Katie Kozlowski: yeah. Alara Sage: so bad and I'm so wrong. I just really love this imagery of the Red Riding Hood and the stabbing of the self. And I... I think a lot of people can really relate to the ways in which we can cause ourself pain and even be aware of it. We can be aware that we're causing ourselves pain. And we can be aware of ways in which, or not aware of ways in which we are causing ourself pain. Do you see a lot of that in the clients that you work with? And can you speak to that and how that shows up of? Ways that they're not aware that they Katie Kozlowski: Yeah. Alara Sage: are causing themselves pain through this energy of guilt. Katie Kozlowski: Yeah, well, it's interesting because it's a paradox, first of all, right? It's like, when I look at myself, I am everything I appear to be in terms of I am loving, I am happy, I am positive, I am full of joy. I am your biggest fan and your cheerleader. I always say working with me is like pouring fertilizer on your soul. I act as fertilizer, you know, I help you grow. That's Alara Sage: Organic fertilizer, let's say organic fertilizer, right? Katie Kozlowski: my energy, that's Shakti. Organic, well, Alara Sage: Ha ha  Katie Kozlowski: I'm cosmic, I'm beyond organic, I'm from another planet, man. But yeah, it's good fertilizer. Well, there is such a thing as energetic fertilizer, that's Alara Sage: this. Katie Kozlowski: love, right? That's high Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: vibe consciousness, that's what that is. So it helps you grow, it helps you expand. And I attract a lot of people who want to grow and yet they can't seem to figure out why they're not growing. And... It used to be very puzzling to me because I go, wait a minute, they look at me, what are they seeing in me that they want? What is it that they see in me that they don't have? And how can I support them and facilitate that sort of transformation within them that I've gone through because I've been both sides of it. And so what I've seen over and over again is that people come knowing that there's something that they're doing over and over again, right? I call it the sticky wicket, right? It's the repetitive pattern, the sand in your bathing suit that keeps coming back that no matter how hard you try, you do therapy, you do courses, you do mindfulness work, you do these things. These are people that have been really working on themselves for quite some time. And they go, but I'm still doing it, why? How on earth could I still be hurting myself? I don't understand, right? I don't understand. And I'll give you a quick example. I have somebody who came to me, she wanted to lose weight. She told me a story, a horrific story. She went to a hypnotherapist. The hypnotherapist led her through a meditation practice. In that practice, she was supposed to step out of her body and into the observer, a third person, which is totally valid. And when she did it, the third person who was supposed to love her started to rip her to shreds. and just completely say these horrible things. And here she is supposed to go through a healing practice and now she's doubly traumatized because she already knows that she's sabotaging herself and she's struggling. Then she goes to try and get help and then even that aspect of herself attacks herself. So that's one example of what I've seen. It's like I described the wolf, right? The wolf is your friend. The wolf Alara Sage: Mm-hmm. Katie Kozlowski: loves you, but the wolf turns on you. And so what I find is that there's this constant desire to open yourself to love. And I can think of somebody else who was sharing a desire to be in a relationship after years of doing work, finally getting to that moment, the moment the relationship gets real, the sabotage kicks in, the relationship is destroyed, and this person is left alone again. And this person is saying, how is this possible? I'm so ready, but it's like involuntary. It's like these involuntary bear traps, right? These wolf traps, there's just snap. And what I see is that it's an unconscious because it's unconscious, right? It's in the sort of woven into the nervous system. It's like woven into who you are, but it's almost like COVID was, right? It's a novel virus. It's a shape shifting energy. It's like in you and you know it's there. but you can't quite put your finger on it because it's so good at hiding. And then you go to try and catch it and it attacks. So you start to see this game of like cat and mouse or whatever it is. And this is what people come to me with a lot of times, right? I have these patterns, how do I break them? And this is exactly what we do is we get very, very clear in the mechanism of how you personally create your quote unquote sabotage, right? How do you individually attack yourself? How do you isolate yourself? What are the actions that you take? What are the steps that you go through? What does it feel like? What does it look like? What does it sound like for you in those moments? And that's how we actually untangle somebody from it because then all of a sudden they see, oh, now I understand because. I open myself up to love, my vulnerability kicks in, I remember Alara Sage: Mm-hmm. Katie Kozlowski: the way somebody treated me in the past, and then I react from my wound, from my wound, Alara Sage: Yeah, Katie Kozlowski: right? Alara Sage: it's like that bear Katie Kozlowski: So a desire Alara Sage: trap. Katie Kozlowski: to protect, yeah, exactly. My desire to protect myself, it's like putting a drawbridge down, right? It's like a fortress, right? I'm open, I'm open, no, I'm not, right? I'm available, I want it, I want it, get the. out, right? It's that sort of thing. And I have it too. I mean, I still have to catch myself in it because it's a lifelong thing. It's a desire to protect ourselves, right? It's a desire to give ourselves protection from something that we were not able to protect ourselves from at a young age. So an abusive parent, I get a lot of people with parents who were alcoholics, narcissists, BPD, all of this. And the reason why they are stuck is because as a child, they had to create some sort of way to protect themselves from people that were supposed to love them, right? So there's this, it's very confusing. And you develop these tactics and these behaviors that just become a part of who you are, and you don't know it until you really wanna make the change. And that's when the magic happens, because I come in and go, okay, we're gonna just... get so um we're gonna get so specific Alara Sage: Hmm. Katie Kozlowski: that I will help you understand exactly how you're doing this so you don't have to be scared Alara Sage: Mmm. Katie Kozlowski: anymore right so when you see the wolf you see the wolf you know it's the wolf Alara Sage: Yes, Katie Kozlowski: and you Alara Sage: yes. Katie Kozlowski: say hi I see you Alara Sage: I see Katie Kozlowski: I got Alara Sage: you. Katie Kozlowski: you Alara Sage: Yes, Katie Kozlowski: And the wolf goes. Alara Sage: yes. Katie Kozlowski: then Alara Sage: Yeah, Katie Kozlowski: you're Alara Sage: it's... Katie Kozlowski: free, right? Then you can change it. Alara Sage: It's so wonderful to bring it back to like the patterns and the self-sabotage, because I think a lot of people can really relate to patterns. We have watched ourselves through our life, go through similar patterns. I remember I one time had a pattern when I was younger, where I would reach two years in my relationship. If the relationship reached that long, if it reached that long, it was done. That's when I said, I'm out, I'm done, I'm bored. I'm gone. And I was aware enough to catch myself on the third time of that. I was like in my 20s when that happened. And be questioning and inquiry of myself. Wow, that's really interesting. That's the third time that's happened. You know, this is really intriguing to me. And start to just ask the question of why? Why is this happening? And I was shown why it was happening and my fear of moving into the next cycle of a relationship. Because it's all like honeymoon and lust and beauty. Like, oh, it's just so wonderful being with you. And you kind of hit this two year phase. And it starts to move into the next cycle. I didn't know how to move into that cycle. So I had to really honor that and see that and invite myself when I was ready in the next relationship, whenever that showed up, when I kind of came around that next two years, I was able to really breathe through it and be aware of what I was feeling. And I was feeling this sense of boredom. And okay, well, why do I believe that being with somebody long-term, not the loss, not the excitement, is boring, why do I believe that? And just really breathing into that part of myself and having the ability to realize that it's not boredom, it's actually just like consistency and a level of comfort and that stability, right? That I was kind of resisting, resisting the stability. So I was able Katie Kozlowski: Oh yeah. Alara Sage: after that to shift into longer term relationships. And that was just something that really happened to me. I didn't have anybody showing me and I wasn't even aware that I was like aware of what was going on other than the fact that I saw the pattern. And that's the point that I wanna bring forward is, I think for all the listeners, you could really think about what patterns have I created, whether it's in relationship, whether it's in career, whether it's in business or entrepreneurship. whether it's in money, like how many of us have patterns in money, right? And our relationship with money, if we have patterns with friends or patterns with family. So I think it's a really valuable thing to tune in for the audience and ask themselves, where am I holding these patterns that Katie is reflecting on, that just the first awareness of the pattern is the beginning process. So Katie, I want to ask you, you mentioned family and parents and kind of these things that can influence us as far as what you've noticed in your clients and where they're coming from. Some of them have abusive families. Some of them have narcissistic families. What do you really feel is the root cause? And I know that there's obviously many root causes, but why? Why do people take on this guilt? Why are we? Carrying this burden of guilt Katie Kozlowski: Right, why keep it, right? Alara Sage: Yeah. Katie Kozlowski: I think two things have happened, right? One of them, I think it's that we've been taught that it's noble, right? We've been taught that there's value in carrying suffering for others. And that's a really true thing because there's a lot of, I mean, martyrdom is a thing. Right? Martyrdom is an archetype and it's a really important thing to look. People will say like, oh, so you're a martyr like about me. And I go, oh, no, I'm bigger. I'm worse than that. I'm a self-sacrificing masochist. Okay, so I will sacrifice myself. So other people can be happy by hurting myself over and over and over. I will take the blame. I will take the fall. I will take responsibility. And it's an unconscious thing because obviously if we realized once I realized it wait a minute what I am like voluntarily dying. for other people's happiness. I am the one going, I will be, my teacher, this is a great way to sort of wrap your mind around this. So my teacher told this story once and once I heard it, I went, what? Not me anymore. So he said, you know, there's a game, my teacher was Irish, he said, there is a game we used to play, frogs in a barrel, and all the kids had a frog. and the game was all the frogs in a barrel and you wanted to see whose frog was the last frog in the barrel. And you would think like, okay, that was the loser. That frog, the last frog in the barrel was the loser, not the winner, because that frog spent the time letting every frog jump on his back to get out of the barrel. He helped every frog out of the barrel. But when all the frogs were out of the barrel, do you think anybody reached in and said, thank you so much frog? You've helped all of us escape and now we're all free. Here's a hand. Nope, they all hoppity-deep-deep-deep-deep-deep blast guys in the barrel like, well, what, is anybody gonna help me? Right? I was that frog. I was the frog, oh, I help everybody, right? It makes me feel good. It's who I am. I am in service. I am here to serve and if that means I suffer, that's okay because somebody needs. my love and it was like this it was very self-sacrificing and I know that I learned it um through conditioning through religion but also just through the very um idea that if you have a lot of love to give you should give it away right if you have a lot of money and power and whatever it is like you should give that to others because god forbid you keep any of that for yourself, then you're selfish. So it's Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: all of these different things and what it comes down to at the end of the day, I believe is, I think it comes down to a self-preservation tactic because if I were to really fully love and accept myself and own all my gifts, I was terrified that I would have no friends, I would Alara Sage: Hmm. Katie Kozlowski: not be accepted, and I experienced this. Listen, I got bullied, I got, you know, talked about, I got dumped. I got laughed at. It didn't matter whether I was good or bad, right? Didn't matter if I gave it all away or if I loved myself. I was stuck in this position where it was like, I didn't know what to do. All I really wanted was to be loved and accepted, right? And so there's the root of it, I think, right? We all wanna be loved and Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: accepted. For some reason, we believe that in order to gain love and acceptance, we have to do things like beat ourselves up. We have to do things like sacrifice ourselves. We have to do things like to give to everybody else first and make sure that everybody is taken care of because that is who we are. Like it's our identity, it's our purpose. It's a kind of a strange thing. And I think it's very backwards because it leaves us depleted and sad and broken and lonely and depressed and all of these things. So. I really think that, and I've seen so many people who have been, at the end of the day, everybody that I meet, that's what they want, just like, that's what I want. I just want to love and be loved for who I am. Alara Sage: Mm-hmm. Katie Kozlowski: I just Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: didn't know how to do that in a healthy way. Alara Sage: Yeah, and I think it's so important that you bring up the archetype, because I want the listeners to understand that the martyr archetype is one that we all carry. And so, especially women, but men carry it too. And so when we acknowledge that we have carried that archetype and how are we martyring. then it flips it around instead of I'm not martyring or I'm not doing this. It's like, okay, where am I martyring? Where am I being that frog and allowing those other frogs to jump on my back? And what happens when we really shift into that loving ourselves? Right. To me, we radiate that love and then all the frogs in the bucket get it. Katie Kozlowski: Yeah, and then all the frogs are like, wow, I can jump? Alara Sage: I Katie Kozlowski: I didn't Alara Sage: can jump Katie Kozlowski: know I Alara Sage: out Katie Kozlowski: could Alara Sage: of the bucket Katie Kozlowski: jump. Alara Sage: myself. Yeah. Katie Kozlowski: Yes, Alara Sage: Yeah, Katie Kozlowski: everybody Alara Sage: yes, Katie Kozlowski: let's go, everybody let's go. Let's all go together. Yeah, Alara Sage: yes. Katie Kozlowski: yeah. It feels so much better because it eliminates, it eliminates the competition, it eliminates the judgment, it eliminates so many of the things. And I know that like, at least for me and my personal journey, I always just felt like, is it okay for me to be fully me and inspire other people? Like, is that enough? Or do I need to suffer more? Alara Sage: Right. Katie Kozlowski: You know, that was my question. And I think so many of us, I see this with a lot of my clients too, you know, they get they get what they want. They're happy and they go. But have I suffered enough yet to deserve this? Alara Sage: Mmm. Katie Kozlowski: And I go, yes, please, no, Alara Sage: Hmm. Katie Kozlowski: let's not do that to ourselves anymore. Because guess what? At the end of the day, I think it's really quite simple. You can choose to recreate the old story over and over again, right? Or you can create something new. If you look at yourself and you go, OK, this is my pattern. This is my cycle. I've been looping in this story for this long, doing this, doing that. You spot the moments or the ways you do it, right? Cause we each have our sabotage. We recreate the drama, the suffering, right? We choose Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: to punish ourselves, whatever it is. Or we decide, you know what? I really have had enough of that and I would like to move on. I would like Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: that next level, right? I would like that new experience. And that's when I get really excited and go, okay, now we're talking, right? Now Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: we're really rolling up our sleeves and having a great freaking time because Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: Shaggy Bomb is good at clearing blocks, right? It's really good at that stuff. But you know what it's even better at? Creating bomb ass lives where people are happy and healthy and manifesting and loving the crap out of themselves. Like that's what I love the most. And that's what I love the most about me. But you know, I spent 13 years even pretending like, oh no, we don't do that. We do this. So I have to do it too. I had to say, you know what? I think it's time to just be fricking balls to the wall happy, Alara Sage: Mm-hmm. Katie Kozlowski: love myself. And it's way Alara Sage: Yes. Katie Kozlowski: more fun. So Alara Sage: Yes, Katie Kozlowski: much Alara Sage: yes, Katie Kozlowski: more Alara Sage: yes. Katie Kozlowski: energy to create, right? Like we have so much energy. Do you wanna use it? It's like, do you wanna use it fixing your house over and over again? Or do you wanna knock that sucker down and build your dream home? Which one? Alara Sage: Yes, yes. And it's when we really allow that energy, you know, that Shakti, which has created life force energy, it just moves through us so seamlessly, so effortlessly, so gracefully. It's really powerful and potent. I can definitely speak to that in my own journey. So Katie, we're kind of wrapping up here. And we're going to move into an activation. But before we do that, Where can people find you? Where can they reach out? Where can the listeners connect with you? Katie Kozlowski: Yeah, so the best way to find me, Instagram, my handle is at I am Katie Kozlowski. I always spell it because it'll say, how do you spell that? So at I am K-A-T-I-E K-O-Z L-O-W-S-K-I. I'm sure it'll be linked somewhere as well, but just for the people who like to hear things, Instagram is the best. You follow me on Instagram. You can shoot me a DM. I always answer everybody. I am very, very happy to connect on Instagram and my website is my name, katiekazlowski.com. So you can come over there, you can come play. I always do lots of different workshops. I'm always doing different activities throughout the year, depending on the mood and the, I guess, my attitude. Sometimes it's about creating joy, sometimes it's clearing guilt. But either one of those, you're more than welcome to come. Hang out with me and be happy as a clam. Come join. Alara Sage: Yes. Yay. And I could definitely speak to Katie's Instagram account. She brings on a lot of really beautiful, inspirational, fun, creative posts. And it's very regular. She's on there. She has a very strong presence. And I can definitely speak to you responded to me when I DM'd you. So it's always wonderful to feel like when you're going to reach out to somebody, they're going to reach out back. And I definitely feel that with you, Katie. So I want to make that clear with the audience. Yay. So now we're going to just move into an activation. And so, you know, Katie and I are going to breathe together. We're going to speak. We're going to call things out. And, you know, we're just going to really bring in the energy of this episode today into our bodies and activate our being in this energy. So. Listeners, you can absolutely follow along with this. Maybe not if you're driving your car, that's up to you, but definitely come back around and do it when you can be in presence with it, okay? All right, so let's just close our eyes for a moment and bring our awareness to our bodies. And let's just take a nice deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth. Yes, beautiful. And drawing awareness to this conversation we had today about guilt and drawing awareness to this conversation we had about self-sabotage and pattern. So as we're breathing in, that awareness is coming into our space, coming into our bodies, coming into our space right here, right now. Breathing in and allowing, breathing in and allowing your awareness of where you self-sabotage, the patterns that you create with guilt. Yes, beautiful. And just being present with this. Now we're going to use our breath, and we're going to use our voice, OK? So I'm going to say out loud, and Katie, you can repeat after me, audience repeating after me. going to release and activate, all right? So nice deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth. And saying out loud, I am ready to let go of my guilt. Katie Kozlowski: I am ready to let go of my guilt. Alara Sage: Ah, yes, breathe into your body. Okay, repeating after me. I give myself permission to let go of my guilt. Katie Kozlowski: I give myself permission to let go of my guilt. Alara Sage: Yes, yes, yes. And we're feeling that in our bodies and breathing. Permission, permission to let go, permission to release. You don't have to carry it anymore. You have done it enough. You have suffered enough, my loves. You have suffered enough. Yes, beautiful, nice deep breath. And we're gonna say out loud now, it is okay for me to be me. Katie Kozlowski: It is okay for me to be me. Alara Sage: It is okay for me to be me Katie Kozlowski: It is okay for me to be me. It is okay for me to be me. Alara Sage: one more nice deep breath. Ah, yes, yes. And when we do these spaces together, we're all doing this together. We're all in this together. We're all in this space together. We're all learning together. We're all growing together. We're all inspiring and activating each other. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Katie, so much for coming on here and sharing with us your light and your love and Katie Kozlowski: Thank Alara Sage: your Katie Kozlowski: you. Alara Sage: bomb energy. Katie Kozlowski: now I want to dance. See like now's when Alara Sage: No! Katie Kozlowski: I would put on some like you know funky Alara Sage: I'm sorry. Katie Kozlowski: music and just like dance Alara Sage: Yeah! Katie Kozlowski: and groove. Alara Sage: Yes, and let it go and Katie Kozlowski: It's... Alara Sage: be more of ourselves, Katie Kozlowski: That's right! Alara Sage: right? More of our crazy, wild Katie Kozlowski: Time Alara Sage: self, Katie Kozlowski: to Alara Sage: whatever Katie Kozlowski: like, Alara Sage: that looks like Katie Kozlowski: yeah, Alara Sage: today. Yes, Katie Kozlowski: that's Alara Sage: yes. Katie Kozlowski: how I always leave a podcast or a conversation. Like I wanna like strut the runway, you know? I'm very like RuPaul by the end of these things. I'm like, let's go, let's go. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's good. It's exciting. Get some glitter. Yeah, I usually wear like my glitter baseball hat, but I want you to see my eyes. So Alara Sage: hahahaha Katie Kozlowski: I'm gonna put my hat on now when we're done and I'll go. I'll go run through the neighborhood like a freak. It'll be great. And I'll go, there she goes. Alara Sage: Whoo. Katie Kozlowski: She's feeling it today. Alara Sage: Feeling it. Katie Kozlowski: I got Alara Sage: Yes, Katie Kozlowski: the zoomies, Alara Sage: yes, yes. Katie Kozlowski: you know, and you gave me Alara Sage: I'm. Katie Kozlowski: the zoomies. Alara Sage: Oh, yes, Katie Kozlowski: Thank you. Alara Sage: yes. It's a good word. So thank you everybody. Reach out to Katie if you feel drawn, if you feel inspired, and definitely be sure to subscribe to the podcast. Make sure you're sharing this with whoever you feel could really connect to this conversation of patterns of self-sabotage of guilt. The more we share this, the more we all benefit. We all benefit. from these spaces. So thank you for joining us today and we'll see you on the next episode of the Ecstatic. Okay.

Self Sabotage & The Role of Guilt

Show Notes

Episode Transcript

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