Episode Transcript
<p><!--block-->Alara Sage (00:02.082)<br>Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the ecstatic woman.<br><br>podcast where we activate and inspire women in their power, in their authenticity and in their bliss. I'm your host, Alara Sage. I am a spiritual teacher, a healer and an activator of Kundalini Shakti. I also call myself the Ecstatic Life Mentor because truly I teach unity consciousness<br><br>Alara Sage (00:38.704)<br>self and in our sixth density self we are ecstatic we are in our bliss bodies so I truly believe this is the capacity for humans is to live very ecstatically very blissfully so this is a solo episode where I am diving into a topic with you guys and I get to spend a little bit more time intimately with you<br><br>my audience, which brings me a lot of joy. So I'm basing this conversation today off of a question I received the other day from a client asking about the fear of failure. And he asked, how do I move through?<br><br>the fear of failure. Okay. So in this conversation, we're going to, as always, kind of bring three aspects to the conversation. I'm going to talk about the theory of this. And meanwhile, we're going to be aware of our bodies. We're going to be aware of any triggers that come up. Okay. We're going to be actively practicing embodiment. And the third aspect is I will give you practical tips<br><br>that you can apply if you are experiencing this or if you experience this. Okay. All right. So failure, right?<br><br>The first thing to understand about failure is it comes from a dualistic perspective. Okay, so, you know, we are currently in humanity. We are third density moving into fourth density consciousness. And in these densities, we are in what's called a dualistic perspective. We are still seeing things as right or wrong, good or bad, success, failure, etc.<br><br>Alara Sage (02:38.765)<br>Okay?<br><br>Whereas ultimately when I speak to you about sixth density consciousness, this is unity consciousness. This is the embodiment of your higher self. And when you are embodied of your higher self, you literally see reality very, very differently. Okay, you no longer see your reality from a dualistic perspective. You no longer see it.<br><br>right or wrong, good or bad, success or failure. OK?<br><br>And so I'm always here to teach you that sixth density consciousness. Okay. And simultaneously, I'm here to help you navigate the third density slash four density that we're currently in as humans. Okay. Cause nowhere is this about, you know, pretending. Uh, and it's definitely not about bypassing. Meaning we're not, you know.<br><br>ignoring and denying what we're really feeling.<br><br>Alara Sage (03:52.278)<br>because being ecstatic, being in your bliss body is actually comes about from directly addressing what you're truly feeling, not by bypassing, pretending or trying to, you know, divert your attention into something else so that you don't feel these, you know, what are deemed negative emotions like failure. Okay.<br><br>So let's break down.<br><br>What is failure? Right. Because we have long been taught that there is such thing as success and failure. And nobody wants to be a failure. Everybody wants to be a success. And if you're a failure, that means you're unworthy. It means that you really can't seem to accomplish anything. You're no good at anything. And maybe what's the point?<br><br>point of view and you have no purpose, right? Whereas if you are deemed or seen as a success, wow, you're so gifted. You're so talented. You've really accomplished so much, right? You've really done something with your life, right? That's a big one. Like done something with your life. Okay.<br><br>And I feel like this is a topic that is spoken about quite frequently in our society now because the truth is that to succeed you have to be willing to fail. That's just simply the truth. If you were to interview anybody who is what is known as like a great success, they will guarantee to tell you, yes, they failed a lot.<br><br>Alara Sage (05:51.22)<br>Unless they're not willing to be vulnerable, right? Thomas Edison, the one who, you know, found electricity, he failed at something like a thousand times, a thousand times for the same thing. Most people would have simply given up.<br><br>Most people would have thought, gee, I failed at this. I clearly can't do this. I don't have the capacity. I don't have the intelligence, whatever it is, forget it, right? So it's so important to understand that failure is part of success. They are not truly separate. Just like pain is actually part of pleasure.<br><br>Okay, they are the same spectrum. They are the same coin. They are only opposite sides of the same coin opposite polarities of the same, you know, spectrum so to speak. Okay.<br><br>I always like to use the example of little children because, you know, little children, toddlers, they have to fail left and right because they're just really learning how to be human. Like the simple actions of being human, how to eat. I mean, have you ever seen a toddler's face? You know, like half to three quarters of the food.<br><br>doesn't even make it in their mouth and you know we're told that we know where our mouth is all the time right since we're in the womb and yet again like somehow they managed to just smear the food all over their face you know smeared all over their clothing and you really wonder like how much did you actually get in your belly right<br><br>Alara Sage (08:06.738)<br>Now, why that can be humorous, right? And we can laugh at that. The truth is, is that that's not any different than if, you know, Thomas Edison is trying to discover electricity and he keeps failing at it. Right. Like it's not any different just because it's a larger scale, just because electricity, you know, means so much to humanity. And we're so grateful for Thomas Edison, you know, to, uh, inventing it, coming up with it, he didn't really invent it.<br><br>it right.<br><br>Whereas a child eating food just seems like well, of course like that's just human thing. You just got to learn that right? So you see where we choose to delineate? Between what is just natural learning and what is deemed failure or success? Right. So if Thomas Edison hadn't had such an incredible amount of resolve<br><br>Perhaps and you know failure is just simply the process of learning what doesn't work learning what doesn't work. Okay.<br><br>Alara Sage (09:31.178)<br>So what our mind tends to do and this is particularly if you are a primarily, you know, left brained individual, you are a logical thinker, you tend to analyze your physical reality, your mind will say, well, hey,<br><br>You have failed at this before. Like let's say you're trying to, you know, find a partner, like find a relationship, right? And you've just not had a very good track record, but you've been doing the work and you've been working on yourself and you know, coming to deeper levels of self-love and compassion and healing the wounds of your parents. You've come a long way.<br><br>Your mind oftentimes will say, yeah, but do you remember, you know, John and you know, Larry and Bob, and I don't know who even has those names anymore, right?<br><br>and Joe, right? And, and like how badly those ended or how much pain that caused, right? Like the, the mind will remind you so clearly of the pain. But the past is the past. You don't have to allow the past to create the future.<br><br>You don't have to allow the past to create the now. That's totally up to you. It's 100% up to you. And there's really two benefits here, right? You can take what you experienced and bring it into a lesson for yourself, right? Bring it into an opportunity of, OK, well, I tried those type of men, right?<br><br>Alara Sage (11:37.084)<br>And that didn't work or I can really see how you know, honestly, I was wounded, right? I wasn't really showing up in the relationship. I was guarded. I didn't feel safe<br><br>And again, I've learned from that. I've learned that if I show up guarded and say and not feeling safe, I'm going to create a relationship that is disconnected and most likely will prove to me that I'm not safe, right? So you can take the golden nugget. You can take wisdom of the experience bring it in and<br><br>Alara Sage (12:21.808)<br>That way, when you move forward into new experiences, you actually are much wiser. You're coming at your reality with more awareness. Okay, awareness is always power. Awareness, more awareness always grants us the ability to literally see more.<br><br>You can think of awareness as a flashlight that allows you to see either in low light circumstances or, you know, in total blackness. And because awareness is the awareness of love light, which is the source of consciousness. Consciousness is awareness, love, light.<br><br>Alara Sage (13:15.812)<br>we are available to a larger spectrum of light. This is not visible light. This is non-visible light, not visible to our physical eyes. And this is psychic abilities, intuitive abilities, right? The sixth sense. We are able to perceive information light, which we cannot see. And we can actually translate that.<br><br>information into knowingness, into the awareness of our surroundings. Okay, so it's similar to sitting in a room that's pitch black that you have no awareness and you're just completely working from trauma and programs. Okay, because until you're aware you are working 100% creating from your subconscious mind.<br><br>which has been programmed to the age of seven.<br><br>And so all of those traumas, all of those belief structures are what is creating your reality. So you're literally sitting in a dark room. Okay, feeling around through life, feeling your way through life and then, you know, poking your hand on something that's dark, tripping over things that you can't see, like doesn't create a very easeful life, right?<br><br>And then you would tune it to compare it to having more awareness is where you are slowly turning the dial up of light, right? So initially you can only see maybe some shapes. You can't make everything out and some things if they're a little bit darker, you can't even see right? You can see the things that are light and white. And then as you turn the dial up more, you start to see more.<br><br>Alara Sage (15:19.64)<br>Soon, you can see most everything. Okay, that's what awareness does for us. So always remember that you are never experiencing your reality with the same level of awareness. You are always coming at your reality with more awareness, especially if you are granting yourself the gift.<br><br>of the learning, teaching experience of life. Okay, meaning. If you're allowing yourself to really see wow, okay.<br><br>You know, with my relationship with Joe, he was a jerk. Like, why did I even enter into that relationship? Let's let's sit with that for a moment. Well, I entered into it because honestly, I just didn't have any self-value. Right. I was just kind of like really wanting love and attention. Wow. You know, like that's really deep, right? That's really self-reflective.<br><br>Because remember, it's never about the other person. Even though Joe is a jerk, it's really not about Joe.<br><br>Because you're the one that engaged with Joe, brought him into your life, created a relationship with him. Right? So the self-reflection is always where you're going to find the wisdom. You're not going to find the wisdom in blaming Joe. We can view Joe, and I'm just using obviously Joe is an example, from a lens of awareness, right?<br><br>Alara Sage (17:12.048)<br>Let's see. What did Joe, how did he show up? Well, he showed up where he just didn't really seem to value me. You know, he showed up where.<br><br>You know, he didn't even really seem to like me, right? Like sometimes he was nice to me and other times he was just a complete jerk. Right. So those qualities of how Joe showed up is showing me where I was really lacking self love and I was really lacking self value. And therefore he didn't value me.<br><br>Alara Sage (17:56.342)<br>Right? So you can see how just seeing how Joe showed up. It's a really great reflection of self.<br><br>Okay, I'm just using all of this as an example, just to give you something to really feel into. That's a very direct experience, right? I don't I didn't actually have a boyfriend named Joe, but I had plenty of boyfriends that I, you know, was showing up not in worthiness and not in love of self and they didn't feel good. You know, the relationships didn't feel good.<br><br>So if you can be self-reflective and say, OK, so if I learn to value myself, then I can then ensure that the person I bring into my relationship will value me as well. So then that relationship is no longer failure.<br><br>just because it ended, just because maybe it was a super hot mess, right? Like maybe it was a super hot mess. Doesn't mean that it was a failure.<br><br>You get to choose. You get to choose if you see it as a failure. Well, that was just such a mess. Oh, why did I even do that? What's wrong with me? Blah, blah, blah. Great. Now, you've seen it as a failure. You haven't taken any of the wisdom and integrated into your being and who knows if you've even learned anything from it. It's very likely you will just create it again because you're literally hating on yourself.<br><br>Alara Sage (19:43.102)<br>You're literally hating on yourself through the perception that you failed. And if I can just get that point across, it'll be profound for you.<br><br>Alara Sage (20:02.306)<br>So what if you changed all of the perceptions of failure and you started to see them instead as the opportunity of a learning teaching experience? And I use learning teaching because why? They're exactly the same vibration. OK.<br><br>Alara Sage (20:29.25)<br>So you can choose.<br><br>So what failure right now comes to your mind? What failure right now comes to your mind? We've all seemingly had them. And asking yourself, what is the self-reflection that you were attempting to show yourself, attempting to teach yourself?<br><br>And can you see that? And can you learn from it? And can you integrate it into your being? We do that by really acknowledging it from a place of self-acceptance. If we can literally say, wow, I created that because I didn't value myself. Well, I accept the fact that I don't value myself because I was taught that.<br><br>can see just my innocence in that. I accept the fact that I don't value myself and I desire through that acceptance to change and move into the value of self.<br><br>then you integrate that information into your body, into your nervous system, into your subconscious mind. And then you can start taking action the other way, asking yourself questions like, how do I value myself? Is this choice right now that I'm choosing to make that I'm about to make, is this valuing myself? Right? If I make this decision right now, does it feel like I'm<br><br>Alara Sage (22:16.12)<br>or does it feel like I'm recreating something out of a lack of worthiness, a lack of value of self?<br><br>Right? That's how we learn to alchemize the energy by choosing actions through courage. Takes courage, choosing actions through courage in a different vibration. I don't want to create any more. Replace of not valuing myself. So to the best of my ability.<br><br>And that's an important terminology, right? Because hey, guess what? You could fail again. Quote unquote, fail again.<br><br>Alara Sage (23:05.278)<br>So if you're holding yourself to some standard, some expectation that you have to get it right or else you're just a piece of crap, you're still not valuing yourself. You're still not valuing your own process of learning, of growing.<br><br>expanding. You're just like, get it right. Let's go. What's wrong with you? Why can't you get this right? Right. It's the same energy as not valuing the self. So it's very easy to do that. So we have to be willing to grant ourselves time space, time space to trip again.<br><br>time space to maybe fall flat on your face again. There is no end to the beauty and the depth of the potential of learning through experience.<br><br>experience is the best way to learn. Because I can sit here and tell you this all day long. But if you go out there and you fall on your face because you don't value yourself, that's just an example. And then you say, oh, wow. Okay, I did it again. All right. I'm going to really look at this.<br><br>And then you shift that in yourself and then you create either a relationship or something else where you can really see, wow, this is really valuing myself. It feels like it. I can literally feel it. This choice is choosing to value, choosing to honor myself. That experience.<br><br>Alara Sage (25:14.142)<br>is lived experience. And it is what is so profound.<br><br>so profound and we only gain lived experience by living and experiencing. We don't gain live experiences by staying in our comfort zone. We don't gain live experiences by not stepping out and trying things that we've already tried. Doing things again, trying new things that we've never<br><br>tried, right? All of these things are what create lived experience. And it takes courage. Absolutely it takes courage, right? It takes courage. Let's not pretend that this is easy. It's not easy.<br><br>Alara Sage (26:15.158)<br>But you can do it.<br><br>Alara Sage (26:19.742)<br>And if you ever question if you can do it, I want to remind you when you were an infant, you learn to walk and I can guarantee you fell flat on your face. And you know what? It hurt. You probably cried more than once. And then when you kind of got the hang of that you started running and then you fell flat on your face again and it hurt and you got up and you did it again.<br><br>Why? Because we have this urge to walk. That urge to experience ourselves walking is stronger than the fear of failure. It's stronger than the memory of that pain. So you've already done it. You've already done it.<br><br>Alara Sage (27:21.398)<br>So connecting to the desire for whatever that is. If it's a relationship, because that's the example we've been using here, right? Like,<br><br>connect to that desire. I really want a relationship that is loving. You know, I've seen, you know, Sally and Jim and they just like the way that he looks at her and just like the love that just emanates off of them. It's just so sickening and I want it so badly. I want it so badly, right?<br><br>It's so powerful to connect to that desire and to fuel that desire. Imagine yourself there.<br><br>Watch movies, sappy love movies to fuel that desire. Whatever you can do to fuel the desire because the desire will lead to passion and the passion out does the pain every single time. Every single time the passion will out do the pain.<br><br>So if you're not connected to why you're doing something, then the pain.<br><br>Alara Sage (28:40.726)<br>And that's, you know, could be like actual physical pain or it could be emotional mental pain, right? Because we're talking about children falling flat on their faces. But as you're an adult, it's more of an emotional pain. Maybe you failed and it was embarrassing, right? Maybe you failed and you felt unworthy. Those are emotions, right? That's emotional pain. Maybe you lost a bunch of money, right? So the...<br><br>Pain is, you know, expresses itself differently, but it's the same thing. It's pain. So if you can't connect to why am I doing this? And what is that? Like, what is that desire? Why do I really want this?<br><br>Your mind will keep reminding you of your past failures and that pain will be like, no, this isn't worth it. What this isn't worth it. You know, I just honestly, whatever, whatever that is, it's not enough for me to potentially. To potentially. Relive that pain because it's only a potential.<br><br>Alara Sage (29:56.094)<br>your failure, your pain that you've experienced in the past.<br><br>doesn't mean it's going to happen again. And we tend to automatically believe that it will, but it's only one of infinite potentials. And the truth is if you've learned even a smidgen of a lesson from the experience, it will not recreate itself the same exact way.<br><br>It will recreate itself differently to give you a slight different angle of this same belief structure that created the initial pain. Or it'll create something entirely different depending on where you are in your belief structures. How different your current belief structure is from that one and the previous pain. Okay.<br><br>So to summarize, we have to understand that failure, for one, is simply a perspective.<br><br>That's it. It's a perspective that we've been programmed to believe is wrong, is bad, yada, yada. You can choose to begin to see failure as beautiful lessons, experiential lessons that can be so deeply programmed into your body in a good way. Like we want to program our body. We just want to program our body consciously.<br><br>Alara Sage (31:42.966)<br>So if we program our body with that's what I experienced, this is the lesson I gained from it through self-reflection and programming my subconscious and my nervous system through that awareness. Fantastic. Now, when you go to address the new circumstance, you're programmed with wisdom, program with lived experience instead of programmed with pain, right? Very, very different.<br><br>Can you feel the difference in those two?<br><br>All right, so that's the first one is how do you perceive your failures? And if this is a big topic for you, I recommend sitting down with a paper and a writing utensil. And first off writing down some of your biggest failures. Just make a list. That'll be enjoyable, right? If this is a big deal for you.<br><br>Secondly, pick one at a time and write about it. What did you experience? What is the lesson? What was the lesson that you're still trying to grasp from it? Okay, because the other thing about this is when you fully grasp the wisdom of an experience, you energetically release that memory. It no longer has an entanglement with your energy.<br><br>Okay, because it's not trying to teach you anything anymore. You're done with it. You're complete. You've completed that lesson. It's kind of like homework. Like a lot of people are walking around with stacks of homework. These unlearned lessons that they haven't really looked at and they're just stacked up.<br><br>Alara Sage (33:38.282)<br>And there's all of this potential wisdom and, honestly, intelligence that they haven't granted themselves because they just haven't taken the time.<br><br>Okay, so write it out. Start with one at a time. Write it out and give yourself the time, the space to process the information. Okay, this is really important. You don't want to just do one and then right off the bat go to the next one. You wanna write one out, really contemplate it, reflect on it for a couple of days.<br><br>a couple of weeks that's really up to you and then really integrate that information again maybe a couple of days maybe a couple of weeks maybe a couple of months if it was a real biggie for you but do it until you really feel like I feel complete with that I really feel at peace with what happened<br><br>I feel at peace with what happened. Great. That one you can just cross off your list, right? Now on to the next one. Write the next one out and move through your failures. Okay.<br><br>And if you have a failure that's looming over you right now in order to you have like something you're trying to create and you have this past failure or failures that are in the same kind of genre right of story then address the failure of what you're attempting to create first so that you can move forward and create that because then when you take action to create that new<br><br>Alara Sage (35:32.56)<br>reality, you're going to finalize the lesson, my love, because then when you actualize, when you take action on the new you, the new belief structure, the integrated lesson you, you are now teaching yourself through action, a new belief. That's the teaching side of the learning. Isn't that beautiful? It's so beautiful.<br><br>amazing if you succeeded at everything in your life you would be bored af I promise you<br><br>Failure is the challenge. It's the spice of life. It's why we are here. The sooner you can realize that sooner you can come to terms with it. The sooner you could just really consume it in this very loving and powerful way and start to create your life very differently on a very different trajectory and encounter new failures.<br><br>But now you'll see them as this beautiful opportunity to learn and then teach yourself. And then the lessons you start to integrate, you start to learn and teach and integrate much faster. And the lessons start to speed up and your ascension and your awareness starts to speed up and everything starts to speed up in a really positive, positive way.<br><br>So I hope this has been really juicy for you and going into the deeper concepts of failure and also how to start taking action on any failures that you're still holding yourself as guilty or shameful for and let that go. Move on, create new failures.<br><br>Alara Sage (37:35.222)<br>so that you can really become a master student and thus a master in life in general. Thank you so much for joining me here today.<br><br>And you know, if you're listening to this before February 22nd, I have my higher mind program that's launching February 22nd. Big deal guys. This is really connecting to your higher self. This relationship is invaluable. Absolutely invaluable. There is nothing better in my life than my higher self. Always that guidance, always that support, always that clear knowing of what action to take. Okay, but also in the higher mind program.<br><br>program, we activate our Merkavas, we activate our light bodies, which really allow us to embody higher frequencies and higher consciousness, which allows us to move through things like failure so much easier. You still experience it and there's still challenge and all of that, but you see it from a higher perspective, which makes it easier to learn and to integrate those processes.<br><br>Alara Sage (38:46.564)<br>greater expressions, greater depths of love, as well as clear manifestation and manifestation that's really coming from your heart instead of your ego mind, which is a whole nother conversation. So I hope you'll join me for that program. And if you're listening to this after February 22nd, the recording of the program is always available and you can join the Unity Academy where all my teachings are. Plus we do live sessions.<br><br>bi-weekly in the Unity Academy. We do bi-weekly live sessions where we're breathing into the body, we're moving through energy, we're alchemizing, and we have a telegram group that is that I'm supporting the students. I answer questions, we're sharing authentically and openly. It's a community, it's a support structure, and it's where you can get all of your answer, your questions answered. So the Unity Academy is extraordinary, truly, truly extraordinary. I highly recommend<br><br>you check those out. Otherwise, you're welcome to reach out to me to work one-on-one with me as well. Thank you so much for joining me here today, my love. Again, you know, honestly, your time here with me is truly precious. It's truly precious to my heart. It's truly precious to who I am as a teacher and who I am as a student, a lesson, a student of life. And I am<br><br>grateful for you in this life and for your courage, your courage, your courage, your courage, your courage to take on these concepts to deepen your self-realization and thus to experience more love and compassion for yourself and for humanity, which literally makes this world a better place. Thank you. And until next time, I love you all so very much.<br><br><br></p>
