Episode Transcript
<p><!--block-->Alara Sage (00:00.824)<br>Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Ecstatic Woman podcast, where we activate and inspire women in their power, in their authenticity, and in their bliss. I'm your host, Alara Sage. I am a teacher. I am a healer. I am an activator of Kundalini Shakti. And today is a solo episode, do do do do do, yeah, yeah, yeah, where I get to spend time with you, my loves.<br><br>I love these because I get to go into my story. I get to go into topics deeper. And they're just fun for me. Maybe I just really like talking. Ain't that the truth? I have like a really strong, I think it's Mercury that's the communication. Anyways, whatever planet that is, I gots it. OK, so today we're going to talk about relaxation.<br><br>Alara Sage (01:03.232)<br>Relaxation first came into my space in 2019 when my higher self started to show me the issues with our vagus nerves and how humanity is walking around largely, the majority of humans are walking around in a dysregulated nervous system. And my higher self started telling me that it was really, really important that we learn to<br><br>let go and relax and let go of the doing in the context like I've spoken in other solo episodes that that is what our where our worth is found, right? Not that we have to let go of doing, but that we find our worthiness in doing, right? So all of this started coming in in 2019. And then my higher self started taking me as it always happens between me and my higher self on a journey of relaxation.<br><br>And wow, it has been a really beautiful journey.<br><br>Alara Sage (02:08.344)<br>First off, I didn't know how...unrelaxed I was.<br><br>you know, the opposite state of relaxation is tension.<br><br>And if you would have asked me before my higher self took me on this journey, if I was tense, I would have said, no, I feel great. I feel fine. I've never been an anxious person. Not that there's anything wrong with that. We all have our challenges in life.<br><br>And therefore, I've never felt a lot of tension in my body in that anxious sort of way.<br><br>But what I've come to understand is that I actually hold quite a bit of tension, a constant tension, a deep tension. And it's taken me years to release that tension.<br><br>Alara Sage (03:11.672)<br>My higher selves first started bringing this forward through teaching me how to breathe properly into my body through the complete breath, where you breathe into your belly, into your diaphragm, and then to your rib cage, and then finally up into your chest. And actually, I had practiced that form of breathing since 2017. And the first time I tried to do belly breathing, I found it really uncomfortable.<br><br>And it's something that's important to understand because I don't know if that's talked about a lot. But it's uncomfortable initially. If you've been breathing shallow, which again, the majority of people do, then you haven't been utilizing your diaphragm. And you're probably holding tension in your solar plexus. And so breathing.<br><br>into your solar plexus and dropping your diaphragm down is not something that you do regularly. And it's a movement that you haven't been practicing. And it's uncomfortable. And there's tension there. So that's one way to recognize if you do actually hold any tension in your body is can you breathe down into your belly, meaning that as you breathe in, your belly goes out. And as you exhale, your belly drops down.<br><br>comfortably. So just out of curiosity, try that right now. Breathe in, drop that diaphragm, have that belly go out, exhale, let it go. How did that feel? Just being curious.<br><br>Alara Sage (04:59.128)<br>The other way, and where the tension goes even deeper, is in our pelvis.<br><br>Our pelvis holds a lot of trauma because it is where our sacral chakra is, which governs our emotional body. And most people don't process their emotions properly. So that all sits as tension in the pelvis.<br><br>as well as any time that you've ever felt unsafe physically, like maybe somebody was following you or chasing you, or unsafe around people, like in social settings, unsafe sexually, in intimacy.<br><br>Alara Sage (05:54.422)<br>unsafe in your emotions, in what you feel.<br><br>Again, unless you were taught how to process that information, which most generations have not been, you've harbored a lot of those experiences in your pelvis. So let's try this right now. Just breathe all the way down into your pelvis. And you should be able to breathe very easily all the way down to your perineum. Your perineum should go down a 1.<br><br>out, like kind of drop down ever so suddenly. And you should feel this like movement in your pelvis. Okay, it's with a really deep breath. Okay, so take a nice, deep breath in all the way down into your pelvis, not into your chest, and see what you feel.<br><br>Alara Sage (06:48.824)<br>Do you feel any tension? Was there movement on all sides there? Again, we're just being curious right now. But those are excellent ways to notice your tension. And there will absolutely be days that you feel more relaxed and that breath is easier. And there will be other days where you're like, dang, yeah, there's no movement there. Also, if you are in constant thought,<br><br>That is a state of tension. We want to be where our thoughts are coming in. They don't have to just, you don't have to be in no thought. I mean, that's a very powerful place to be in. And honestly, the more you can be in no thought, the better. However, it's okay to have thoughts, but they shouldn't be ramming into your mind at super light speed. You know, it shouldn't be a continuous stream of thought. Do they break?<br><br>Do you have pauses? If it's continuous, constant, just like your brain just won't let up, then you're holding tension somewhere within you. OK? So that's all just kind of diagnosis of self. So I'm going to share with you some story, because I want to really kind of dive into this. And I want to also.<br><br>as I always like to do, give you a glimpse into my life and how I work with my higher self. So my higher self had been teaching me this for many years. And then, and I had actually been teaching it to others already at this point. And then I noticed that one day I was sitting in the movie theater.<br><br>And I was watching an action movie. It wasn't anything dramatic, but it was an action movie. I think it was Avatar, something like that. You know, where there is like chasing and fighting and drama and action, right? But it's not like horror or something like that. Okay. And as I'm watching it, my higher self comes in and says, notice your attention.<br><br>Alara Sage (09:13.56)<br>And this was happening during an action packed part of the movie. Again, I don't really remember exactly what movie it was. I think it was Avatar. But it was where there was a fight or something like that. And I noticed that for one, my anus was clenched and so was my lower body. And my higher self said, breathe and relax.<br><br>And then like a minute later, maybe a couple of minutes, maybe I'll give myself more credit and I'll say five minutes later, who knows? My higher self comes back in and goes, notice the tension in your body. And there it was again.<br><br>Alara Sage (10:08.216)<br>And my higher self was just having me relax and relax and relax and allow the stimulation to be there. I wasn't shutting my eyes. I wasn't trying not to look. I was allowing myself to experience this intense scene that, in all honesty, I'm not a part of. But it doesn't matter. Our bodies react as if we are.<br><br>and I'm practicing relaxation. It was very profound. And I did that for the rest of the movie. Well, the other night, my partner and I were watching the new Dune, Dune 2. And once again, my higher self comes in and did the same thing.<br><br>Alara Sage (11:04.376)<br>To be able to stay relaxed in any circumstance is a level of self -mastery. And I'm not claiming to have it.<br><br>When My Higher Self came in to the movie, I was in tension, particularly with fight scenes, the sounds of stabbing, where there's the sounds of knives going into bodies. Ugh.<br><br>Honestly, I want to not listen.<br><br>I want to cover my ears. And sometimes when my partner and I are watching movies or shows that have that kind of stuff, I do. I cover my ears or I turn away. And last night, my higher self was telling me how I'm allowing this even perceived experience, right? Like, again, this isn't actually happening to me. To have some effect on my body, I'm giving it my power.<br><br>Alara Sage (12:14.296)<br>I thought that was quite interesting.<br><br>And so my higher self told me.<br><br>not to allow myself to close my ears, to avert my eyes. Can I experience what's on the screen, what's in life, all circumstances, in a deeply relaxed state?<br><br>Alara Sage (12:46.968)<br>Well, I am a student and thus I am practicing.<br><br>Alara Sage (12:57.112)<br>And I brought that forward not because I think you should do the same. If it resonates with you, by all means, do it.<br><br>Alara Sage (13:06.904)<br>I'm bringing it forward because my higher self continues to show me the importance of relaxation.<br><br>Alara Sage (13:19.32)<br>And movies offer us this really wonderful opportunity to put ourselves in a triggered place without actually physically being in an unsafe environment. That's an advantage because you can practice relaxation when there's not somebody chasing after you or even you're not in a real life circumstance where two people even in front of you are fighting, right? Because whether you're the one fighting or you're in a fight or...<br><br>There's something of real physical unsafety, just even in your direct experience, right, is very triggering. And so we can use these kinds of circumstances to increase our own capacity. I think that's really fun. If you think it ruins the experience of being in a movie, then by all means, you do you.<br><br>Alara Sage (14:17.368)<br>But relaxation is really powerful, no matter how you want to practice it and go about it. And I do recommend being curious about where you're holding tension. You'll always say that you cannot see what you deny, and you do not know what you do not know.<br><br>So curiosity always grants us the availability instead of closing our minds off to that information. So be curious about where you're holding tension in your body.<br><br>And to be really clear, relaxation is not rest. Deep relaxation, you may have heard me say this before, can actually be highly engaged. So you can be deeply relaxed while...<br><br>Alara Sage (15:21.624)<br>Honestly, fighting somebody. Take it to the extreme, right? Because you could be deeply relaxed dancing. You could be deeply relaxed surfing. You could be deeply relaxed while driving. You could be deeply relaxed even in a mental container where you're solving problems. Any situation.<br><br>You can be engaged through your senses and through your body actively and still be deeply relaxed. I call this spiritual kung fu. I'm sure you've heard me say it. Because kung fu masters are relaxed. That's why they stand poised, patient until they feel sense know the exact action to take.<br><br>that will carry the most impact. And that's what relaxation grants you. It grants you precision. It grants you clarity, grants you information.<br><br>Alara Sage (16:30.84)<br>tension does not allow for energy to flow. So the more of an intense state that you are in, the less that your energy is flowing in your body. So this means several different things.<br><br>For one, your organs are not receiving vital life force energy to the full extent that they could be. Our bodies are really incredible. I mean, the amount that our bodies can function off of very low energy is just downright shocking. However, optimization occurs.<br><br>when you have a high level of prana in your body and going to all of your vital organs.<br><br>Alara Sage (17:31.544)<br>Attention also doesn't allow us to be present in the moment, and therefore we're not granted all of the information that's available to us. We are generally in a state of discomfort, a state of fear, a state of anxiety, a state of worry, a state of stress that is narrowing our perception. That's really important to understand.<br><br>If you are in a state of tension, you have a narrow perception. Through relaxation, you can not only broaden your perspective, you're also able to receive different perspectives comfortably.<br><br>Alara Sage (18:17.912)<br>and you can access more of your power, as well as you can handle discomfort. You can handle uncomfortable emotions, uncomfortable states of being in your own self, as well as handle those sensations in other people, because humans are empathic.<br><br>you can feel what other people are feeling. And whether you've shut that gift down or not, it's the capacity that you have. And oftentimes, when we're around somebody who is having uncomfort or discomfort or stress or emotions that we have deemed wrong or bad,<br><br>We don't allow ourselves to feel that. We don't want to be around that person because of those sensations when the truth is that emotions, there are no wrong or bad emotions. They can be uncomfortable. And through the practice of presence, you can be comfortable with the uncomfortable.<br><br>Alara Sage (19:40.856)<br>I remember one time I went to pick up my aunt and uncle from the airport. This was many years ago, long before I was practicing a lot of this stuff and got in the car. They got in the car and we're driving home. And I just remember feeling.<br><br>tension in my body and anxiety. And again, anxiety is not a normal state for me. So it was very odd. And then, of course, we had stop and go traffic, which just added to it. And I felt like I was white knuckling the steering wheel. I felt like just a ball of tension. And I couldn't understand it. And we got home. And I don't remember exactly when, but it wasn't much longer after that. My aunt informed me that my uncle,<br><br>hates flying and is really scared of it. So he was in a state of tension. He got into my car and I could feel that tension. However, I didn't have the awareness that I have now. I didn't realize it was his tension that I was feeling. I couldn't understand what I was feeling, but I did know that it was uncomfortable.<br><br>Whereas now I'm able to feel that person's tension, understand that's their tension, and I can still be in a relaxed state.<br><br>Alara Sage (21:07.544)<br>So it grants us the ability to be grounded, to be anchored, regardless of what the people around us are feeling, regardless of their state of being. You think of an emergency. You think of a situation where people start panicking. You want to be the one that remains relaxed.<br><br>Because you're going to be the only one that's going to be making decisions that are really impactful and powerful.<br><br>Alara Sage (21:48.664)<br>So relaxation has really so many benefits. And again, the more that I play with this, I notice the days that I'm not as relaxed, the days that I'm not as present in my body. And I work to assist myself through that. I'm still learning. And so it isn't just, I think sometimes we think,<br><br>OK, I'll learn this, and then I'll be able to do it, and that'll be it. But this entire life is a journey. The entire life is here for us to explore and feel and experience. And it is in the process of the experiencing. It's in the process of the learning.<br><br>that we gain the wisdom.<br><br>Alara Sage (22:52.12)<br>So it's in the process of one day feeling relaxed, the next day not feeling relaxed, then learning how that feels again, right? And then relaxing yourself and then feeling relaxed again and then feeling back in tension, understanding why that happened. What do you need to do to bring yourself back? That's all learning. And it's absolutely part of the process.<br><br>So relaxation is not about judging ourselves for not being relaxed.<br><br>It's not about needing to release the tension because that comes from a place of force. And relaxation is not force. Force is not relaxation. Relaxation is actually power.<br><br>Alara Sage (23:59.062)<br>And force, of course, is tension. Force, you need something pressing back up against it. Otherwise, it doesn't exist.<br><br>So we don't want to press against our tension.<br><br>We want to soften towards it.<br><br>Alara Sage (24:24.696)<br>to soften towards your tension. So the first step is in the ability to be aware of your tension. And everybody has different areas of their body that they hold tension. So my tension is in my pelvis, primarily around my womb. I know a lot of people who have tension in their shoulders and in their neck.<br><br>I also have tension in my jaw because your jaw is connected to your pelvis. So learning where you hold tension is step one. And then softening.<br><br>Alara Sage (25:11.286)<br>softening that area of your body, softening your perception on whatever shows up as far as why you hold tension there.<br><br>Alara Sage (25:26.776)<br>So that you're coming at yourself from that softness instead of the tension. Interestingly enough, another way to address tension is to actually tense that area of the body.<br><br>Alara Sage (25:42.776)<br>So it's funny because I'm talking about softness and then higher self comes in and says, yeah, but you can also tense to release. So have you ever done that? You can like, let's say you hold tension in your shoulders or your neck. You can tense, like try to contract that area of your body as tight as you can go and then let it go and then do it again and then let it go. And as you do that, you actually like kind of pump the muscles.<br><br>and pump blood back into the muscles that are ischemic, lacking circulation and oxygen. And of course, you can do that with your pelvis too. So as a woman, you can do kegels or you can just squeeze your pelvis, kind of squeeze it together. I'm doing that right now. Squeeze.<br><br>and then let go and squeeze and then let go.<br><br>Alara Sage (26:49.432)<br>Ah, that feels so good. I just did that and I feel better. Not that I felt bad. Not that I felt tense. But again, this is the beauty of this. I'm also reminded right now of in my meditations as I've been practicing this, practicing this over the years, I'll be in meditation and my higher self will say, relax.<br><br>And I've learned to not argue.<br><br>Alara Sage (27:23.256)<br>doesn't serve to argue with your higher self.<br><br>So I just go, okay, even when I don't feel tension and I try to soften more, I set the intention. I breathe and then my hair self says relax more.<br><br>And so I soften more. And I imagine myself melting or I imagine my pelvis just kind of opening up larger and softer and grander and bigger.<br><br>Alara Sage (28:03.8)<br>And so I breathe in, and I just open, and I soften, and I expand, and I melt. And then I breathe in again, and I open, and I soften, and I expand.<br><br>I just keep doing that.<br><br>And then my hair is always say, relax more.<br><br>Alara Sage (28:31.832)<br>And my point to telling you that is there is real deep relaxation. And.<br><br>I don't know if there's a limit to the level in which you can relax. I don't think I've found it yet. So I would just recommend that you just keep inviting yourself to relax more, because what could possibly happen? It's not like I literally melt. I don't become a puddle on the couch. And I find it very easy to move out of.<br><br>So you can practice this and keep inviting yourself to go deeper.<br><br>Alara Sage (29:26.52)<br>And then understanding the circumstances that you do find triggering. Like I said, with the movies, you can absolutely use that to trigger your body. You'll notice now, triggering the fight or flight. But also, there's things in our daily lives that aren't really unsafe that can trigger us. Sometimes, you know.<br><br>Again, if there's tension in the household, if two people are having a dispute that maybe you're not even a part of, could be your kids, or even if your partner is having a dispute at work and they come home and they're agitated, you can easily find yourself triggered. Or your kids come home agitated. You can find yourself, your body, reacting to their agitation.<br><br>Alara Sage (30:27.608)<br>Can you relax?<br><br>maybe really busy environments.<br><br>trigger you, right? Maybe if you go to.<br><br>You know, like I just get a vision of like the streets of New York. Everybody's walking around. Everybody's doing and going and and. That can trigger some people. So people get triggered driving, right? So people get triggered, of course, by airplanes, by travel in and of itself.<br><br>Alara Sage (31:07.004)<br>Maybe there are certain things in your career that trigger you. Maybe you have to talk in front of people and that triggers you. Maybe a particular person triggers you. And you notice that whenever you're around them, you tense up.<br><br>Alara Sage (31:31.48)<br>So you don't always have to understand the why. I mean, the why is always going to grant you more awareness of self. So you can become curious and you can just simply relax and practice relaxation.<br><br>Alara Sage (31:50.55)<br>and it becomes a really beautiful practice.<br><br>Alara Sage (31:57.912)<br>that you seek.<br><br>How can you be relaxed no matter what?<br><br>And relaxation doesn't mean bored or numb or boring. I don't know why that comes through right now. But the truth of it is that when you are relaxed, it's a lot easier to experience joy and gratitude and the aliveness in the moment. It's a lot easier to experience all experiences as pleasurable.<br><br>which you can't do in tension. Because tension is the belief that you're not safe. And when you believe subconsciously and in your nervous system, maybe not consciously, but when your subconscious mind and your nervous system say, what's up? We're not safe. You are not in a state.<br><br>to experience pleasure. Pleasure is not gifted to the body in a state of tension.<br><br>Alara Sage (33:12.344)<br>can kind of hit hard, can't it? Because if you think about that, if you're an anxious person or a person that has constant thoughts streaming through your mind and tension in your body, then you aren't going to be experiencing life all that pleasurable. And of course, that's not said in judgment. It's hopefully said to help you have that awareness.<br><br>Alara Sage (33:42.2)<br>Because if you can learn to relax the body, you can experience a lot more pleasure in your life.<br><br>Alara Sage (33:54.04)<br>So I hope this has brought you some insights into this conversation, some interesting story as far as my practice and what happens between me and my higher self. And I hope it has inspired you to practice this in your own way, in your own time.<br><br>even simply being aware of when you're in tension.<br><br>Alara Sage (34:27.416)<br>Because remember.<br><br>You just can't access your full capacity. And really, as I mentioned with the vital life force energy, you can basically starve your organs, your muscles, your body by the life force energy. So if you find yourself exhausted a lot, tired, fatigued a lot, this can also be why. If your body is only receiving so much of the vital life force energy,<br><br>it's going to run out pretty quickly.<br><br>Alara Sage (35:06.392)<br>So breathe into your body, relax, let go. And hey, guess what? I do actually have a mini course that I created.<br><br>that is all about presence, but it could help you. So if you're interested, reach out info at larasage .com and I will give that to you. All right, my loves, as always, I deeply enjoy this time with you. I'm really grateful that you're here listening to me talk.<br><br>I'm grateful that you're a part of this experience with me. I love you so much.<br><br><br></p>
